The Lengths To Which He'd Go
by alixrose
Summary: Nathan and Haley have been going out for more than a year, than one night everything changes. What does this mean for Haley and Nathan, will love and forgiveness be enough? NH,LP and Bake
1. Chapter 1

THE LENGTHS TO WHICH HE'D GO….

_Tell me where you're going..._

_What is going wrong…_

_Felt you leaving before you'd even gone_

Haley sat at her desk, pen in hand and notebooks scattered in front of her. She pushed her hair out of her face, her eyes moving every which way unable to focus because behind her, on her bed sat the man she loved for the past year.

It still amazed her how the mere presence of him elicited so many unyielding emotions. Her nerves rattled within her, passion rippled under her skin, her hands became warm craving the feel of him beneath her fingertips. It took every ounce of will within her not to jump him every time she saw him.

Haley closed her eyes recalling the nights when she had watched him sleep taking advantage of the time by running her hands over his face and favorite parts of his body memorizing him that even in this moment when they weren't even facing each other she could see him.

She tried to picture the smoothness of his skin, the edge of his chin, the pull of his eyes, the unruliness of his hair and the way his skin fell taut beneath his clothes.

Uncontrollably her thoughts wandered to the way his hands felt upon her skin, to the electricity and the giddiness that coursed through her body with his caresses.

How in the quiet moments of their shared nights, his passion filled voice released her name, in a whisper.

Haley opened her eyes in embarrassment; a red blush crossing her cheeks, with a slight chuckle and shake of her head she brought her mind back to the task at hand.

Nathan sat at the edge of the bed his eyes focused on the knob of Haley's bedroom door. He had come over under some lame pretense of needing his paper proof read but the truth was he had needed to see her, even if it was for a bittersweet reason.

Haley had become a big part of his life. She had been there in his most confusing moments and at times she was his only guide through the constant darkness.

He had found a reason to keep moving from moment to moment when he thought all was lost. She had cracked through the numbness that he had guarded himself within and the weight of stones that he carried in his chest had begun to crumble.

She had opened her heart to him and at times he still wondered why. She had faithfully and lovingly given of herself, showing him what unconditional love looked like, what it felt like and that he had deserved it.

He had never felt so much until Haley in her innocence, in her sincerity and originality had seeped into his life. He had given her all of his heart long before the moment where she had put her hand upon his, her eyes so bright with acceptance, promising her love.

He wasn't the same shell of a person that had slipped that Cracker Jack bracelet on to her wrist. He wasn't that same person at all.

That he knew at least.

But Nathan found himself confused at moments, lost and his only relief, the touchstone he depended on was the girl that sat before him.

She was the only person that truly mattered.

A slight chuckle escaped Haley's lips that caused Nathan to break from his current train of thought. A silence fell over the room and Nathan begrudgingly realized that what he had to do, where he was going Haley couldn't follow.

He felt the weight of her happiness upon his shoulders and the guilt, the sadness, a sense of loss so raw clawed at his chest.

He looked to her back, smooth and graceful as it moved against her clothes and the words that sat on his lips broke but his mind had been made up, the choice cemented and he can't turn back now.

Nathan wrestles with the right words and in the end he realizes there aren't any.

"Haley" in a staggered fashion falls from his tongue, she turns to face him a curve of a smile still lingering on her mouth but when her eyes connect with his it falls.

Questions flicker in her eyes and Nathan tries to cover the tension in the room with a smirk but it falls flat because he knows it will only make it worse.

He looks to the door one more time and then back to her confused eyes.

"Am leaving"

She stands from where she was sitting and heads towards the door, placing her back against it so she is facing Nathan.

"Oh really, well my parents are gone for the weekend…" a slight twinkle tumbles in her eyes but as she looks upon Nathan his head bowed the words begin to stagger out from her lips, " so I thought….. We could play a little……..after we finish homework, of course."

Haley tried to force a smile upon her lips but as she spoke the last few words she felt herself begin to shake. Nathan was not looking at her but she didn't need to see him to know that something was wrong.

She didn't want to ask, she already knew that the answer would turn her world upside down.

It was one of those moments you see in the movies, the beautiful girl cries as the man she loves leaves her and Haley just didn't want to know.

Nathan looks up at her and reaches out for her hand. She places her small hand within his and he pulls her towards him until she stands right in front of him. He wraps his arms around her waist placing his head upon her stomach wanting to hold her if only just for a little while.

Haley runs her fingers through his hair trying to calm him into opening up to her but also trying to come to grips with the situation in front of her.

The last time that Nathan was so desperate was when he had collapsed on that gym floor, he had been so lost so scared but he had come so far from that moment and to have him now holding her for dear life only made her realize that what he was telling her, what he was going through was much bigger.

Nathan's grasp of her waist loosens and Haley slowly falls to her knees in front of him. He towers over her and she places her hands upon his shoulders pulling him towards her.

Nathan looks down at her, at the confusion eating up the sparkle in her eyes, the sadness trembling on her lips and he can tell that she is about to cry and he didn't want any of this.

He cups her cheeks, her skin soft against his rough hands, he places his nose against hers…… leaning into her, breathing her in. She wraps her arms around his waist scooting herself between his legs trying to touch every part of him so that she can feels his heart beat against hers.

He pulls away slightly but the feel of Haley tightening her grip around him, causes him to respond by pulling her lips to his. She willingly gives into him, into the softness of his breath, into the familiarity that the curves of his lips offer.

It's tender and sad and as he moves her head to deepen it, Haley can't help but sigh.

Her breath begins to race and Nathan feels the familiar ache of his need for her grow in his heart.

His hands run through her hair as she slides hers along his back. The passion ignites between them, in the magnetic pull of their bodies, but there's an underlining desperation that neither want to admit to.

Nathan can feel the moment move on without him, the control that he had been struggling with for the past hour sways. He wants to give in, to make love to Haley just one more time…

But a part of him knows that it will only hurt Haley in the long run and he didn't want her to hate him. He just wanted to live in this moment forever, in this moment where Haley's lips were upon his and his hands were intertwined with hers…

She could feel Nathan slipping into his thoughts and as she deepened the kiss trying to bring him back to her she felt his hands loosen their grasp within hers…….

A part of her began to cry.

She heard her heart break as their lips separated. She fell back on to her heels not wanting to look at him, not wanting to see the pity, the sadness in his eyes because if she did the lump that was forming in her throat would explode.

Nathan stood up from the bed trying to regain his breathing, trying to find the logic in his reasoning because at the moment as he focused on the knob of Haley's door he couldn't remember why he was leaving.

Then he heard her, a silent echoing breath escape her lips and as he turned to face her back he thought she had never looked so small and he realized that he had done that to her.

"Am leaving" he heard himself say and it crashed into the silence of the room.

Without looking at him she whispered…..

"Where Nathan …where are you going"

She wanted to look at him but instead she closed her eyes letting a tear roll down her cheek.

"Am going to high fliers and……. And then am moving in with my dad" He waited for her to say something but the room stayed silent.

"This is my chance Haley to become the player I know I can be, and this camp can help me reach my full potential…… to actually become something."

He watched as she used the edge of her bed to lift herself up, taking a moment before she turned to face him. Her hair was disheveled, a path of tears cascading down her cheeks and she had never looked more beautiful.

She went to take a step toward him and stopped herself.

Her pained eyes connected with his,

"You're something to me…"

The words were strong as they filled the room they had come from her heart, from the heart that he was breaking apart.

He had known that this wouldn't be easy, not on either of them. He knew that she would probably cry but watching her break before him… it physically tore him to pieces.

But he knew there was no other way, she deserved a goodbye and it couldn't have been done over the phone or by a letter, she meant more to him than that.

What he was doing was ultimately for them ….

She wouldn't understand and he realized now that no matter what he told her or how he told her that both of them would never be the same.

"It's not enough" the words sounded hollow to his ears but he saw her flinch in pain and he hoped that one day she would see that he didn't say it to hurt her.

"Do you love me Nathan" and he can hear the crackle of desperation in her voice…

She looks away from him as if it would hurt her more to see him answer. She backs up until she feels the edge of the bed hit the back of her knees and she feels herself fall onto it.

Nathan stands with one hand on the door and the other at his side, he watches Haley inch away from him and as he waits to answer her he feels the silence swell and pound in the spaces between them.

His hand turns the knob and the creak of the door causes Haley to lift her head…….

Their eyes meet……

"You know I do" He feels his heart constrict as he watches the tears fill up her eyes.

"Say it" Haley is surprised to feel anger overpower her sadness as the gritted words escape through her teeth, "Say it Nathan"


	2. Love Don't Wait

Chapter 2

Make amends or carry ON ANOTHER way

Love don't wait

Nathan slides down in the seat of his truck as he recalls the last moments he had spent with Haley. He had replayed it over in his mind more times then he count.

He had wished that things had gone differently.

Sometimes he thinks if he would have told her the reason for his sudden departure then maybe things would have been different but as his mind becomes overloaded with memories of her tears and the sudden doubt she had of his love, he knew that it wouldn't and couldn't have gone any other way.

He had walked out of that room in a blur, the only sound following him was the silence.

But the image of her sitting on her bed her arms wrapped around her, holding herself in and her eyes boring into him with an angry plea stayed forever burned in his memory.

He didn't tell her that he loved her that night, not in the way she had asked of him.

Nathan looks up to Haley's window across the street.

There's no light on, she could be anywhere right now and he had never felt so far from her more in his life then he does now.

He places his head in his hands letting himself fall into the steering wheel and his guarded mind wanders to the torturous what if's...

If he told her he had loved her then maybe she would have asked him to stay and maybe he would have and things would be a lot different today.

But Nathan hadn't said it, he was trying to protect her, that's what he told himself but at times he felt that it only hurt her more.

The truth was he had not said it to protect himself.

Taking one last look at Haley's house, her room still dark, Nathan slides the car into drive and pulls away.

----------------------------------------------

Luke and Peyton sat on the couch with a fair distance of space lingering in between them.

This friend's thing was completely new and even though the awkwardness was a fresh and mutual feeling, the ease that used to be shared between them was slowly making an appearance.

It had been a long time since they had shared any real amount of time together. The drama of the Brooke, Luke and Peyton triangle had pulled them apart and so much had happened in such a small amount of time that a lot of questions had not been answered and a lot of loose ends hung around them.

There was a lot of emotion between them, a jumbled confusion of feelings and the most prominent was that they did miss each other.

So here they were again trying to get back what they never really had.

As a step forward in establishing the friendship that he so dearly missed Lucas had asked her over for pizza. Then not wanting to end the night so early he had asked her to stay and watch a movie.

The truth was he didn't know exactly how to behave around Peyton or how being friends with her was supposed to even go.

He just wanted to try.

He knew that he had screwed up with her in the most damaging way. He had cheated on her. They weren't going out at the time but they had a connection that he had taken for granted.

He had lost her trust that day and he wanted to rebuild, to start over with her. He was just thankful that she was giving him that chance, even if he didn't deserve it.

As Peyton focused on the movie before her she couldn't help but smile, every single light in the house was on as if somehow that would deter any type of feelings that could be seen as something more than friendship ones.

There had always been something more when it came to them, even when they tried to deny it, to hide in other relationships or to flat out run from it.

Something more was always there.

Peyton's mind raced through the events of the past year and it halted, it cracked on the memories of the night when she realized Luke had slept with Nicki.

She had tried to block out the pain that accompanied that memory but just like it happened yesterday she felt the hurt bubble inside of her.

She had never really talked about it with Luke. There were a lot of conversations that consisted of one or two sentences on the subject but Peyton had a habit of running at the mere mention of the topic.

The truth of the matter was that actually knowing Luke had slept with another girl when he had her heart and she thought she meant more to him was more than she could handle.

But she was past this, it was a distant memory and they were starting fresh. Peyton looked over at Luke and she felt her heart lurch.

"I should go.." it was getting harder and harder for Peyton to focus on the movie and she knew that if she didn't leave soon that she would say something that she would regret and she really wanted this friends thing to work, since that's what Lucas really wanted…to be friends.

"Peyton the movie hasn't even ended yet..." He looked at her with questions in his eyes but quickly shook it aside trying not to seem to broken by her sudden change of heart.

"I know but its getting late and my dad is probably going to start worrying..." She was rambling and that quickly led to a lie, her dad didn't care but she couldn't stay in the room with him any longer, she could feel herself getting worked up.

"Oh" and they both just sat facing each other but looking everywhere else.

The door bell rang and as Luke stood up to answer the door Peyton let herself breathe.

Luke was silently relieved at the sudden interruption. He didn't know what to say to Peyton.

It was almost eleven o clock at night and he didn't know who would be stopping by so late.

Luke couldn't hide the look of surprise on his face when he saw his brother on the other side of the door.

He hadn't seen him in almost six months and had only received a few short phone calls here and there. He had missed him.

"Hey Man, I didn't know you were coming into town." A thousands thoughts were running through Luke's head.

"It wasn't exactly planned… I just needed to come back…" It was true he had needed to come back but Nathan didn't feel like pouring his heart out at the doorstep to his brother's house. "Can I come in?"

Peyton stood up from the couch grabbing her bag intending to make her escape. But as she rounded the corner she saw Luke ushering Nathan into the house. She felt relieved to see Nathan. She had worried about him, knowing he had moved in with his dad, but once she had registered that he looked to be in once piece her mind quickly remembered the one person who was still shattered into a million.

The night Nathan had left; Haley had called her and asked her to come over. The tone of her voice even over the phone had given away that she had been crying. Peyton and Haley's friendship was still a new one and it surprised her that she had called her but Haley needed her and she did what she could.

Peyton had found a broken Haley sitting on the floor of her darkened bedroom. She had helped Haley onto her bed and tucked her under the blankets and she held her. Before Haley began to cry herself to sleep she said one thing "He left me…"

Peyton felt a mixture of anger and sadness as she looked at Nathan placing his bags inside Luke's house.

Nathan looked up to see Peyton before him and he cursed under his breath. He didn't want anyone to know he was in town just yet. But now that Peyton knew he realized that he wouldn't have the time he wanted in order to make up his mind about his return.

"Peyton just give me some time." Nathan stepped towards her with his arms in front of him trying to calm the anger he could see brewing in her eyes.

"I think you have had enough time Nathan" Peyton let the clipped words hang in the air between them. She watched him as he sighed his annoyance with her.

"Peyton….."

"Look Nate, am not doing this for you, it's for her. She deserves to find out your back from you. Are you back?" Peyton stood right in front of Nathan now and as she looked up at him she could see that he seemed older now.

"I am back" and at that moment Nathan realized himself that he was in fact back to stay, to get his life back.

All three of them stood there in a semi circle no one saying her name but they all were thinking about her and how her life would once again be turned upside down.


	3. See It Leave You as Faithful As It Came

Chapter 3

See it leave you as faithful as it came

Haley flicked on the light to her room; walking towards the bed she stifled a laugh as she shook the cowboy hat off her head letting it fall to the floor and then kicking it to the side of the room as she passed it by.

Closing her eyes she let herself fall onto her bed, she pulled her blanket around her and let her mind race over the night's events.

Once again she had been trying to escape the hours and this time Brooke had decided to take her to a party. Not just any party but some new cowboy club that had just opened on the outskirts of town. At first Haley had been hesitant but soon enough she was line dancing and laughing.

It had felt good to get out and Haley had been getting out more and more.

She loved her friends they were constantly inviting her out to do things. She had joined a book club with Luke at the nearby library, Peyton had bullied her into helping her out at Tric, and lately she had been getting together with Jake to work on music.

The most surprising friend to come out of this was Brooke, what had happened between her Luke and Peyton didn't concern the friendship that was developing between the two of them.

Haley had to admit that Brooke had really been there for her the past few months and she had successfully pulled her along to some pretty good parties.

Haley knew that they were just trying to keep her busy so she didn't think about Nathan.

But Nathan was in her heart and that was hard to shake.

The first few weeks were the hardest for her.

Everywhere she went there were memories of him. Everywhere she looked there was a reminder of his absence and even when she closed her eyes she only saw him.

Especially since her life had over time wrapped itself around Nathan.

She didn't realize how much until the first day back to school. He wasn't there to pick her up to go to school and a part of her believed that he would be, that the night where he had just walked out of her life was just some huge nightmare, but she knew she was hoping against all reason.

When she stepped out of her house her first instinct was to run back in and burrow herself under the covers for a few weeks or at least till summer but Lucas was there waiting for her.

She really hadn't talked to him those first few days after Nathan had left she didn't want to put him in the middle that wouldn't have been fair to him. She had needed her best friend but she was sure that Nathan's departure was just as hard on him as it was on her.

Nathan and Lucas had developed quite a close friendship in the past year. But she came to find out that Nathan had only said goodbye to her, everyone else didn't even get a letter and instead of that giving her some comfort of at least knowing that he had taken the time to say goodbye to her it seemed to only cause more confusion. It made her feel that their goodbyes made their parting more final.

The Monday after Nathan's sudden departure Haley had gone back to work. Peyton had thought the distraction of customers would help her get her mind off him but when she got there Deb was working.

When Haley was hanging up her jacket Deb cornered her asking with sadness and desperation painted all over her if she could just tell her if Nathan was alright.

It had startled her at first because Haley had just assumed the Deb had known why he had left; a part of Haley had even thought that Deb may have encouraged him.

Before Haley and Nathan had started to date, Nathan's life was basketball. He ate it, slept it and lived it everyday and Deb had appreciated the relief Haley provided Nathan from it. She had even commented on how she thought Haley was good for him especially since all of the turmoil that was taking place in his life because of the divorce.

But overtime as Haley and Nathan's relationship became more than just study dates, Haley could feel Deb pull away from her.

The easy relationship that was once between them became awkward; it was the settle things that just started to add up. The looks, the body language the strained pleasantries but it all hit the fan when Nathan had been accepted to high fliers.

Haley of course had wanted Nathan to go but he had insisted on passing it up because he didn't want to be away from her for so long. During one of their heated conversations on the subject Deb had walked in.

She had seemed hurt at first, once again the last to know about some big development in her son's life. She had asked varied questions about the high flier's camp and why Nathan was not going but like always she refused to listen to the answers.

It had taken Haley a while to understand the real reason for Nathan's hesitance on going to the high flier's camp and he had only revealed it to her after much persistence. If Haley had only looked and listened carefully in the beginning instead of pushing Nathan it would have been evident what was holding him back.

Deb had lost touch with her son many years before and the relationship between the two was shaky at best so she couldn't read Nathan like Haley could. All she could see was that her son was giving up his life long dream for a girl.

It had hurt Haley to see Deb turn on her so quickly. The harsh words that fell from Debs mouth were shocking and the only thing to come from it was more distance between Deb and Nathan.

It did nothing to comfort Haley that Nathan chose her over his mother. That's not exactly what had happened that day but that was how Deb chose to see it and she decided to label Haley as threat. Someone who was closer to her son then she could ever be.

Haley felt bad for Nathan she knew the last thing that he wanted was more distance between him and his mother. He wanted what Haley had with her parents and at one time Haley had thought that might have been possible.

Haley's mind was once again working overtime. She seemed not to be able to stop herself from thinking about Nathan in the midnight hours.

She hated the silence it took her mind to places she didn't want to go.

Downstairs the grandfather clock chimed twice, it was two in the morning. Instinctively Haley threw her blankets off of her rolling onto her side coming face to face with her phone that sat on her nightstand.

As the chimes of the grandfather clock faded the phone sat still.

Haley held her breath willing it to ring with her heart and pleading it not to ring with her mind. Her head and heart were in constant battle over anything concerning Nathan.

Two weeks after she had watched Nathan walk out of her bedroom and out of her life through tear blurred eyes her phone began to ring.

_She didn't recognize the number but something inside her knew. She looked out to the moonlit sky and took a deep breath. Her hands circled the phone hesitantly bringing it to her ear, his name was on the tip of her lips but it was too hard so a hello was all she could offer. _

_There was no response; he didn't need to say anything to let her know it was him. She had to strain to hear him breathe and it brought her comfort and heartache all at once. _

_She stood up from her bed walked towards her window and let her shoulders rest against the frame. As she looked out into her front yard with Nathan's breathing echoing in her ear all she could see was Nathan as he threw rocks at her parent's window and the moment when they first kissed._

_She made her way back to the bed trying to console herself with her pillows as her body shook with words and pleas that wanted to break through her but she didn't want him to hear her so she swallowed them all down along with her tears. _

The phone kept ringing every night at 2am through the months that followed and Haley always answered. They never spoke, what could he say and she knows if she ever opened her mouth she would probably only cry.

So instead Haley would close her eyes and just listen to him breathe on the line and if she closed her eyes hard enough she could trick herself into believing that he was lying next to her, that these nights were no different from the times when he had snuck in her window in the middle of the night sliding in bed next to her, pulling her back against his chest and their breathing being the only sound in the night.

The phone calls gave her a small amount of hope that she was still a part of his heart like he was hers. That everyday he thought about her and a part of her felt content with that but as each night passed the comfort twisted itself into anger.

He had left her without ever really explaining why; he had broken her heart with some lame excuse that she could see right through.

He got to move on but he also was able to keep her too. He kept her locked in time tied to 2am phone calls. It tore her apart and he had to know that so one night 3 weeks ago she stopped answering.

It was harder than she had thought it would be but her anger was bigger than her need for any part of him. He got to call her and he always hung up first and every night a part of her cracked.

She couldn't do that anymore because she had come to the conclusion that he wasn't coming back.

Three weeks ago she stopped answering the phone and tonight was the first night he didn't call.

Haley took her cell phone in her hand and switched off the ringer and then threw the phone into a pile of clothes on the floor, she turned off the light and for the first time in months she fell easily asleep.


	4. See the Moonlight shining on your window

**Chapter 4**

SEE THE MOONLIGHT SHINGING ON YOUR WINDOW PANE

Luke walked into the kitchen to find his brother sitting at the small dining table his hands on the surface of it and just staring out of the window at the moon sitting high in the sky.

Luke opened the fridge and was bombarded with a varied assortment of beer. The guys had been over the previous night and they had brought enough beer for a small army.

"Nate what kind of beer would you like, it's been so long since I have seen you. Are you still a Heineken man?" It was meant to come off as a joke but they both knew there was an underling statement there. 

Luke didn't mean to but he couldn't help it, he had been hurt that he had to find out through Peyton that his brother had left town. 

Nathan could have easily laughed along with his brother and ignored the question or the statement he was actually making, in fact it may have been a lot easier to do.

Nathan didn't really know what to say but he felt he had to, Luke deserved that. Nathan didn't know how much his absence had hurt his relationship with Luke but getting back to where they were could start here.

"Look man…" Nate turned around in his seat to face his brother, "I wanted to say goodbye, in fact I meant to but," he looked down at his hands, "I had to say goodbye to Haley first and after that I just didn't have anything left in me, am sorry."

"Look I wasn't trying to make you feel bad." Luke handed Nathan a beer and came to sit at the table with him.

"I know" A silence enveloped the room as they both took a sip of their beers.

"Hold on, since when does Karen allow you to drink and let alone keep beer in the house?"

"Dude she's in New Zealand with Andy, but she's due back this weekend so am just trying to have a little fun, nothing dangerous." Luke chuckled.

It was nice to sit here and have a laugh with his brother. Luke had missed there time together and somehow he knew that the past few months his brother hadn't laughed or smiled a lot, if any.

From the few phone calls that Nathan had made to him while he was gone he had gotten the feeling that things with dear old dad hadn't improved, that's why Luke still hadn't wrapped his head around why Nathan had left in the first place.

"So what did Dan say when you told him you were leaving?" Luke took Nathan's empty beer bottle with his and stood up to get them another one. Nathan still hadn't said anything by the time Luke was opening their second bottles.

"Nathan does he know?"

Nathan reached for the beer that Luke offered him only answering after he turned his attention back to the moon.

"He will…"

Luke looked at his brother's side profile and all he saw was a mass of confusion with a new layer of seriousness that had never been apart of Nathan's personality before.

Luke felt a sudden sense of guilt. What had his little brother been through the past few months that made him so distant and hidden within himself.

Luke felt his big brother instincts kick in and he knew he hadn't really been there before for him, not in the way he had needed him to be but things would be different.

"So you and Peyton…" Nathan's smirk made a brief appearance. 

"Just friends, little brother, just friends"

"You two were never just friends." Nathan stood up to empty the last of his beer into the sink and set the empty bottle on the counter. 

Luke downed the rest of his beer and set it next to Nathan's on the counter. "We are…you know, trying"

"Yeah, ok tell me how that goes" Nathan couldn't help but let a laugh escape his mouth and it felt good. "So where am I sleeping?" 

Luke was hesitant for a second there was still a lot of things they needed to talk about but he had a feeling that they would have time.

"You can have my room, I will take my mom's" Luke didn't want to push anything on Nathan but he just had to ask,

"So what are you doing tomorrow?"

Nathan was half way down the hall before he answered his brother because he knew what Luke was asking, if he was going to see Haley tomorrow and right now he really didn't know what to say.

"I don't know man. I really don't know."

Luke nodded his head and watched as his brother throw his bags into the room and closed the door behind him.  
Luke was worried about what the future held for Nathan but at least he was under the same roof as him and what ever Nathan had to face in terms of Dan, Deb or even his own demons he would be there for him, like a big brother should be.

Nathan sat on the edge of the Luke's bed and stared at the two bags that he had hastily packed as he hurriedly left his dad's house.

He hadn't known he was leaving until he was actually on the freeway and even though he believed that he didn't even know where he was going he wasn't surprised to find himself on the familiar streets of Tree Hill.

He shouldn't have been surprised there was no where he would rather be.

Nathan stood back and kicked off his shoes and slowly began to undress in the moonlight.

He made his way to the bed and as soon as his head hit the pillow he felt the tension that was ever present in him seep from his shoulders and back.

For the first time in months he felt as if he was home. Sure it was his brother's home but it was a far cry from the stone building that he had lived in for the past six months.

He closed his eyes and listened as the wind rustled the leaves on the nearby trees.

He closed his eyes a little tighter and tried to concentrate on anything else besides the thoughts that seemed to be invading his mind and the more he didn't want to think about it, the more he did.

Nathan felt himself becoming restless. Once again he was fighting himself, the thoughts and the wants that swirled inside of him.

It happened around this time almost every night.

The night was so quiet, calm and crisp and clear a definite contrast to the way he was feeling. The only sound was the wind outside and that gave room to the thousands of thoughts twisting in his mind.

He fought hard not to give into them, knowing where they would lead him. 

But in the end he couldn't lay still any longer; he got up from the bed and sat at its edge. He stared at the moon and he felt the loneliness begin to creep through his fingertips, up through his arms and slide onto his chest.

He looked to the desk in front of him and there sat his cell phone. It was almost 2 am and he could feel his hands twitch with anticipation. 

It had been almost five months since the first time Nathan had first called Haley.

It had been a particularly hard night and even though he had promised himself that he would give Haley a clean break, that he wouldn't torture her or himself by making contact, he couldn't stop himself from wanting to hear her voice.

But he had known in his mind and heart it wouldn't have been fair to call her, it would have been selfish and he couldn't hurt her anymore.

And after the way things had been left between them he was pretty sure that she wouldn't even want to talk to him. She probably wouldn't want to even want to hear what he had to say.

But that was a problem in itself, what would he say. Nathan never had the words, he couldn't seem to match his feelings with the limited vocabulary available but that had never been a problem with Haley. 

For some reason she knew what he wanted to say without even him having to say it. That was how it used to be before that disastrous night in her room.

He had reverted to the person he first was when he had met her. He had become a brick wall, detached from his surroundings but that was how he had coped with having to break it off with her. He had to or he would have never been able to leave her.

But that night when he made that first phone call it had been a breaking point. Dan had been especially hard on him.

High fliers Camp was due to start in two weeks and Dan had created a workout routine for everyday of the week.

Nathan could handle the running, the push ups, the sprints anything physical Dan threw at him he could do.

That's not what drove Nathan to his breaking point.

Even the constant ridiculing, the jabs, and the threats that he threw at him, that hit Nathan as if it were a sharp edged sword causing pain to swirl and blood to spill was something he had learned to control over the years.

He had made himself solid so the words would just slide off of him and just when Nathan thought that he may have gotten the best of Dan Scott, he would find another way to tear him down again.

This time Dan had found Nathan's weak spot, as Dan would bitterly refer to her. Haley was a way that Dan had chosen to tear down Nathan this time.

"She didn't even fight for you son, she let you walk out of her life because she was tired of you. Don't you see that, you gave her the out she wanted."

Dan had peered over the weight bar at him with that gleam in his eye that showed Nathan that even though he tried to stay as hard as stone with his emotions Dan knew that he was affecting him.

"Don't tell me you didn't see this coming. Wait did you actually believe the tears and the I love you's. Come on Son, your better off. She's better off, what could you ever give her. We talked about this Nathan"

The last five words gritted out of Dan's mouth and landed hard on Nathan's mind. The talk they had was one that had changed his life forever.

Nathan shook the memories off of him as he recalled one of the many moments in which Dan reiterated what he thought of him.

And that's when it had started at 2 am on a Wednesday Nathan had a weak selfish moment and picked up his cell phone and dialed the number that he had memorized more than a year ago.

He knew it was late and when it rang for the third time he almost hung up but then she answered and her soft voice whispered a soft hello. 

Inside he felt himself pull in. He couldn't release any words that stood at the edge of his tongue or it would all spill out so he held it in and when she still hadn't said anything he thought that she had hung up but then he heard her breathe.

It sounded as if she had been holding her breath.

In the nights that followed he called her every night at 2 am and those phone calls gave his day a reason.

But one night three weeks ago she had stopped answering, even though he kept calling.

It just rang.

Tonight was the first night he didn't call, he didn't know why but he just couldn't.

Nathan rested his head back onto the pillow and turned his head toward the window where the light of the moon broke through, at least tonight he was closer in physical distance and tonight that had to be enough.


	5. Pain am In

CHAPTER 5

Brooke rushed up the stairs and opened the door to find a still fully clothed Haley asleep in her large bed.

The clatter of high heels against the wooden stairs and the door hitting the wall caused Haley to fly into a sitting position and not skipping a beat grabbing a pillow hitting Brooke square in the chest with it.

She desevered it for causing Haley to become so frightened so early in the morning.

"Thank God Haley I thought you were dead!"Brooke threw her bags on Haley's floor and jumped at Haley for a hug.

"Of course am alive I waved to you in the cab before I entered my house"

Brooke pulled herself out of Haley arms and turned her head to the side with that famous Davis grin adorning her face.

"Um hello, I was drunk so that's a very fuzzy memory and I have been calling your cell all morning. So what was I supposed to think?"

Haley mirrored Brookes smile, "It was off…."

Haley crawled off her bed and patted Brookes head as passed her to grab her towel off her desk chair.

"Am sorry, Hun so what's this dire need to talk to me, am flattered by the way!"

Haley laughed only to be met with Brookes face with nothing but confusion painted all over it, "You never have your phone off..."

Haley felt herself scrambling for something to say to deter Brooke from pushing the phone subject. "And how did you get into my house?"

Brooke smiled as she reached for her handbag and pulled out a key that had a big H dangling from it.

"Ok silly you gave me the key because you kept locking yourself out of your own house for like two weeks straight. Oh and since I did you the favor of keeping a key for you would you mind driving me to OK Corral, whatever that place is called, I left my car there and then maybe you want to hang out?"

Brooke had become more of a friend everyday. Haley had thought that at first she was trying to get close to her because she was trying to stick it to Peyton but through Brooke's actions that thought was quickly proven wrong.

It was hard at first for Haley to trust anyone new. Her heart had been broken into a million tiny shards that were scattered every which way.

And every time Haley looked at Luke she saw Nathan and every time she looked at Peyton she always wanted to explain herself. Peyton just had this unique quality that made it easier to tell her anything but the truth was it was sometimes just to draining for her.

But Brooke provided a relief, an escape from all of that drama.

Haley knew that Brooke understood that about their relationship. She never looked at her with pity or uttered those words that made Haley want to scream sometimes

"Do you want to talk about it?"

But it didn't make their friendship any less meaningful.

"Brooke I can take you to pick up your car but I promised I would meet Jake to practice for our gig tonight." Haley expected to be met with a pouty face but instead her eyes found Brooke all curled up in her blankets and instead of waking her Haley tiptoed to the bathroom to get ready for the day ahead of her.

Haley bumped her hip into the steel door instinctively reaching for the light switch in the darkness. Instantly the lights began to turn on one by one through the large room. It always amazed Haley how expansive the club looked without all of the people in it.

She headed straight for the stage dropping her guitar case on its surface and lifted herself up onto it taking a moment to take the large room in once again.

She sat there at the edge automatically pulling her guitar case onto her lap and pulling her guitar out of it.

The strings sat cold and still beneath her fingertips, she took a deep breath before she gently began to pick at the strings. Instantly she felt the words flow from her mouth, and relished in how they seem to just swallow up the room.

Music had been her saving grace these past few months it hadn't been by choice. Luke had known that music was a big part of her life, a release for a girl who often made herself panic over small things.

He had noticed on his many visits that her guitar had not moved from its place between the door and the dresser. He had even mentioned that it was gathering dust but she had brushed him off. She had more important things to do like stay hidden beneath her covers and never come out.

But like a good friend he didn't take her petty excuses lying down.

He told Peyton.

He knew Peyton had become a confidant in her life and with his clever mind he figured Peyton could say or do something to snap Haley out of her depression.

Just like he knew she would, Peyton came through again.

Haley had been tagging along to Tric with Peyton, helping her audition acts, straightening cups and just the usual club stuff but her biggest and hardest task was getting Jake on stage.

Peyton had tried for months and when Haley had the privilege of hearing Jake play first hand she quickly jumped on the "Jake must play at Tric" bandwagon.

Months of charm and begging had not made a dent into getting Jake closer to the stage but when Peyton had been straight and truthful and to the point with Jake about why he should play, he selflessly agreed even though he wasn't sure it would work.

Haley had become a good friend of his and he had to admit he saw herself spinning downward everyday but he didn't know her well enough to say anything and if Peyton thought that this would help her then he would do what he could.

He had knocked on her door on a Wednesday trying to come up with a good reason for being there at her doorstep but what he found in front of him was a scared little girl and he knew that the only way to get through to her was to identify with her.

So he pulled on her fear confessing to her that the only reason he couldn't get up on that stage was because he was scared of what he would find in the eyes of the people who looked back at him. He didn't know if Haley understood but without any force or pleading she readily agreed to practice and play with him.

Haley's voice broke and her fingertips fell from the strings at the sound of something moving in the back of the club.

When she had first started coming here she didn't want to enter the club alone it was to big and dark and made all kinds of noises.

But over the last few months it had become like a second home. She had been spending more and more time here and at first she had told herself it was for the company, to keep busy, for the music.

But in the quiet moments of her life where she could sit down and contemplate the situation she found herself in she realized it was because nothing here reminded her of Nathan.

When she was here she didn't hurt as much and even though she shouldn't she felt guilty about that. She did.

She loved him, god how she loved him still.

The noise that had startled her vanished in a second but her mind just needed that moment to make Nathan's absence so real. She flashed back to all of those times that she let her heart wish that Nathan would walk into the club and see her on stage and the sound of her voice would entangle him and draw him to her and he would never be able to let go.

Not again.

But months had past and she stopped taking a second look at every tall dark and handsome that walked through those club doors.

It was just too hard and she couldn't do that to herself anymore.

She just couldn't live in that dream world.

So one night maybe it was a few days, weeks or months ago they all just seem to blur together she stopped looking.

She stopped wishing and she no longer played for him, she played for all of the people that were actually in the club, sometimes she played for none of them and just played for herself.

She felt free and but most of the time she felt her broken heart break all over again.

But agreeing to play with Jake was the smartest thing she ever did. All of the emotions she went through and struggled with were what played that piano or strummed the strings of her guitar and when she played she didn't feel useless.

Her emotions felt real and once in awhile she felt real as well.

Haley moved her hair that had fallen in front of her eyes with her hand and when she brushed her cheek she felt the wetness of tears.

She didn't even know she had been crying.

Taking a deep breath she let her eyes sweep the club once more, her shaky hands brushed against the strings of her guitar and as the words came from somewhere deep and tragic within her she fluttered her eyes closed.

Baby says I can't come with him

And I had read all of this in his eyes

Long before he even said so

Why go, I asked

You know and I know why

And it'll be just as quiet when I leave

As it was when I first got here

I don't expect anything

I don't expect anything

Take care

I've been hurt before

Too much time spend on closing doors

You may hate me, but I'll remember to love you

Goodbye

Don't cry

You know why

And it'll be just as quiet when I leave

She heard the footsteps before she saw him.

Jake gave her a small smile as he approached the stage.

"It looks like you figured out the second verse."

He sat beside her an awkward arms length away.

She gave him a smile that she didn't know she had within her but it was genuine and real.

She felt the sadness at the surface of her skin peel away.

"That's the last time that I will be playing that song." She sat her guitar face down on her lap as if to brush away any remnants of the song on her jeans.

"Haley that's a beautiful song, you play it so well and with so much emotion I know once you finish it, it will be outstanding" His words flattered her and she felt a slight blush slide onto her cheeks.

But she had made up her mind, the sadness and raw heartbreak that tore her up when she sang that song was something she wanted to put behind her.

Starting today she would cope. She would challenge herself to actually live in the moment then dream of her past.

"It's just not me anymore Jake, it's a place that I don't want to go." He nodded his head in understanding and without looking at her he pulled out his music notebook and with a slight bounce in her step she got up and went over to the piano.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Nathan twisted the basketball around in his hands letting the roughness and roundness of it envelope his hands.

He had left Luke's early that morning. He was surprised how comfortable he had felt in his brother's home, rummaging through the fridge, taking a shower, watching ESPN.

For a few moments he let his mind slip into the what if's.

What if Karen had been his mom too, what if his dad wouldn't have married his mom, would he be happier today, would his mom be around the house more, would he have played basketball, would he still have met Haley and would he have still screwed up what they had.

He had let his mind linger for to long on those thoughts and the calmness that he had felt quickly evaporated and the restlessness that always consumed him quickly found its way back into his bones.

He instinctively grabbed his basketball and headed off to the river court.

Basketball had become his escape in everything, when he was younger it was a way to connect with his dad, to gain his love but when he realized that it became just a form of control he realized that the only place where he dictated anything about his life were in the confines of the white lines of the basket ball court.

When Nathan finally cleared his mind of all of the loud and jumbled thoughts that tumbled in his mind he found himself standing on the second step of a porch that he knew well.

He tried to figure out what lead him there but the sound of the door opening put him face to face with Whitey.

Truthfully Nathan didn't know what to expect from the old man but when he analyzed the look of the man before him he was oddly comforted by the stern look of disapproval that adorned his face.

When people first meet Whitey they could easily misjudge his character by just taking in the surface of his personality.

Nathan had known Whitey too long and too well not to notice the cracks that the old man had in his hard shell. So when Nathan looked at Whitey he overlooked the cemented scowl and only noticed the concern that outlined the mans eyes.

Whitey held his door open for Nathan ushering the young man in with a heavy breath.

Whitey held in his relief at the sight of the young man before him. He would be lying if he said he didn't care about him. He did and part of him felt guilty for Nathan's disappearance earlier that year because six months ago this same boy with a confused expression on his brow had come to his office looking for guidance.

Whitey had looked back many times on that moment and wondered that if he had told him something differently or had taken more time with him then maybe Nathan would have stayed and maybe the young man before him with slumped shoulders and frown lines wouldn't be as lost as he seemed to be at this moment.

Whitey took a seat across the coffee table from Nathan,

"Its good to see you son" Whitey's voiced filled the awkward silence and cracked the tension that enveloped the room.

Nathan cracked a smirk that was quickly clouded over, "Thanks Coach I … I wanted to just ask if I still have a spot on the team."

Whitey could see right through Nathan's question there was something more he wanted from him and maybe one day Nathan would ask him but from the way Nathan was moving his hands around the basketball he knew today wouldn't be that day.

"Of course son, you're always welcome" Whitey was sure he saw some weight slide off the boys' shoulders.

"In fact I was just thinking about some new plays, why don't you help me out with that and tell me about high fliers." Whitey stood up and gestured toward the dining room where all of the play books laid scattered about.

---------------------------------------------------------

Nathan's eyes flicked open at the sound of pounding at that front door. He thought about ignoring it but he was up now so might as well.

He instantly regretted it when the door revealed the blonde he was most desperately trying to avoid.

"He's not here go away!"

Nathan rushed the words out as he pushed the door closed but Peyton was quicker than he remembered. She had her whole body inside the house before the last words were uttered out.

He let out an uncontrollable chuckle, he forgot how determined she could be, he always admired that about her. But that thought left his mind as soon as she turned around to face him.

"God Nathan you could have really hurt me."

Nathan brushed passed her grabbing the remote from the counter and switched on the television.

Peyton took a deep breath and sat down next to him on the couch. Nathan gave her a quick annoyed glance ,

"I told you he's not here, what are you sitting down for?"

"Look Nate" She knew using the nickname was pushing it but if she had to do this then she was going to get in a few innocent jabs. "This hurts me more than it will hurt you so I just have a little favor to ask" Peyton was practically screaming the last few words, her cool going right out the window as she watched him raise the volume on the television screen.

"You have a favor to ask me." She had caught his attention. He muted the television and swung his famous Nathan smirk her way. "I thought you hated me."

"I do" damn she couldn't keep her mouth shut, "but, but …" the truth didn't really work with Nathan he always needed a little buttering up but the truth was all she had.

"Look Luke was supposed to help me fix up the club for tonight but Keith called and he had to bail and I am royally screwed if I don't at least get some of it set up." Peyton was already grabbing her purse and getting up from the couch as she rambled the last few words.

She took one last look at Nathan and noticed that he was listening so with one last ditch effort she pouted and tried to add a little glassiness to her eyes hoping he would give in if just out of pity.

"I guess I could use the distraction." Peyton gave him a sideways smile and bounded for the door. She heard the television being turned off and she let a toothy grin slip onto her face.

It never failed.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Nathan placed his back against the heavy steel door as he tried to maneuver the box through its jam.

"Thanks for holding the door open Peyton" Nathan mumbled under his breath at her retreating back and just when he was about to call out to her to ask her where she wanted the box placed, he heard it.

He heard her.

A voice that he hadn't heard in such a long time.

She was singing and the laughter it held was bright and on the surface of her words.

Nathan felt a rise of emotions tug at him, happiness, relief, anger, confusion and then he realized he was still standing in the door jam with a heavy box in his arms. When he looked up his eyes met with Peyton's big blue ones and the feeling of anger took over and exploded within him.

He dropped the box where he stood, spun on his heel and ran out the door.

He heard her before he saw her.

"Nathan, wait I didn't know she was going to be there."

Nathan shot her one of his famous glares that made her take an involuntary step back but she quickly recovered when he started the engine to her car.

"Where do the hell you think you're going in my car Nathan" She rushed to the passenger side of the car but Nathan didn't even take a moment to look at her, "None of your F-king business, Peyton!"

"Hell it is this is my car…"

All of a sudden the door to Tric flew open and both Peyton and Nathan looked up at the figure looming in the doorway.

Peyton let out a sigh of relief when it registered that it was just Jake, Haley was nowhere in sight.

The sound of the car being switched into gear pulled Peyton from her thoughts and she threw herself in the car as Nathan peeled out.

Peyton grabbed for the dashboard with one hand as she tried to put on her seatbelt with the other.

"Damnit Nathan slow the F---k down" she felt the like the words were coming out in slow motion.

She was scared shitless.

Her words were useless Nathan had settled into his brick wall mode.

Peyton closed her eyes to control her panic, "Nathan I didn't know she was there."

"Don't f--k with me Peyton, you hate me, you ask for my help? Just tell me were Jake and Luke in on it too, do you all want to screw with my life."

The car lurched forward with every word as he pressed the gas pedal down farther and farther.

Peyton swallowed hard as the buildings and cars around her became nothing more than a mesh of colors.

She had to do something or something awful was definitely going to happen.

"Nathan I don't like you right now but I don't hate you."

Nathan didn't even let her finish her sentence, "Spare me your bullshit" Nathan spat out each word as if he was trying to cut her with each one.

This approach wasn't working; cars were honking and swerving to get out of their way. The only needed the sound of sirens form police cars chasing them and this movie that Peyton was trapped in would be complete.

"Fine Nathan, I hate you more right now than I ever have before and you f--king deserve it" Nathan's smirk pleaded with her to continue with her obscenities and name calling but it wasn't helping the situation.

"But, Nathan I don't hate Haley and I know that what's between the two of you isn't my place." Peyton began to relax as she felt the car slow down.

"And what could have possibly happened in there could have been bad" Peyton ignored the confusion on Nathan's face and kept going.

"I know you need to do this on your terms so I wouldn't have set anything up, either would have Luke or Jake."

Peyton let out a sigh of relief as she was able to recognize Luke's street.

She loosened her seatbelt and turned around in her seat to face Nathan. " I understand, well I don't understand what's going on with you but am not the person you need to explain this to but Nathan, you cant hide at Luke's forever."

Nathan pulled the car into Luke's driveway; he slid the car into park and turned off the engine.

"Nathan you said you wanted to take your life back, so do it!"

Peyton could see her words physically affect him. Without looking at her and staring straight ahead he let one word slip,

"How?"

And the emotion that was layered in that one word made Peyton's heart stop. She didn't have an answer, the best she could do was offer the silence.


	6. No More Talk

**Chapter 6**

_no more talk __  
__can take me away from this pain I'm in _

Luke sat on the couch and pretended to watch television. He kept switching the channels randomly trying to keep up the pretense that he was actually interested in what he was watching. But the actual thing he was doing was trying to listen to any little sound that came from the back bedroom that would give him an excuse to check on Nathan. 

Earlier they had eaten dinner in silence, both of them sitting on the couch with a pizza box in between them. The only sound was the announcer listing the winning teams of the latest basketball tournaments.

The truth was Luke didn't know what to say. Peyton had called him half crying and half out of breath a few hours ago. She had rehashed the whole Tric and car Nathan episode in one long sentence. She was hard to understand but he had gotten the jist of it. His brother was in a bad place and Luke wanted to help he just couldn't unless Nathan asked for it and even then he didn't know if he would know what to say.

Luke was just relieved that Haley hadn't found out that he was back that way. They both were not ready for that kind of confrontation but then again would they ever be ready.

Haley had already called him twice and he had let it go to voicemail unsure of what he would say, if he would be able to hold Nathan's presence from her. Luke already knew that when Haley found out that he already known that Nathan was in town and didn't tell her she would be upset with him.

But if in the long run of things he was willing to risk five minutes of her being mad at him if it helped her and Nathan to work things out. If you would have asked him a year ago that he would be wishing such things he would have thought you were crazy.

Luke looked at the clock, it was time to go. He grabbed his car keys off the coffee table and shoved them in his jeans pocket and headed for the front door.

He stopped just before his hand reached for the door knob and spun on his heel towards the bedroom door. He didn't knock he just opened it. He found Nathan lying on the bed throwing the basket ball up and down in the air. Luke leaned against the door frame, "Hey man, am heading out"

Nathan sat up and took a seat at the edge of the bed, "Hey we should play a game tomorrow."

"Yeah, look my mom is flying in tonight. She knows you're here and its cool so am just giving you a heads up."

Nathan nodded his head along to Luke's words but Luke couldn't make it out if he was actually hearing any of them.

"You and Peyton are going to Tric" It wasn't really a question so Luke didn't answer; he just pulled his keys from out of his pocket. Nathan nodded his head and threw his back onto the bed releasing the ball into the air as his back hit the mattress. 

------------------------------------------------- 

Peyton opened the door to find Luke looking out over the street from the second step of her porch. She closed her door behind her and slid down next to him so that her head lay against his shoulder.

Luke looked down to see her big blue eyes looking up at him. He couldn't help but smile and almost in a natural way his arm slid along her waist and pulled her in a little close.

For a moment he just wanted to stop time and escape all of the drama that seemed to follow them. A lot of it had been their own doing. He should have known better than to come in between two best friends. How many times had he wished that he hadn't given into his fear and chosen the safer route with Brooke.

"Haley called me,..." Peyton's voice cracked their moment right open and let the real world take it over. "She wanted to know if I was alright after what happened at the club today."

Luke could feel Peyton shake next to him and as she kept talking it seemed to get worse. All he wanted to do was comfort her but he was already holding her as close to him as possible.

"Don't worry Jake told her that I had gotten an emergency call about something club related…..and she believed it"

It was quiet enough to hear their hearts beating and without any warning Peyton unlatched herself from Luke's side and ran out into the lawn taking a moment before she turned back to look at him.

"She believed it Luke because she has never had any reason to doubt me. I've never lied to her, after Brooke I just don't want to want to create another situation like that ever again."

Luke couldn't understand why Peyton was getting so worked up. He couldn't decide whether to walk towards her or to head straight for the car. But getting in the car would just be a way to avoid what was and would happen and they had been doing too much of that lately. 

"Peyton what would you have told Haley, you know its better this way." Luke stepped down the stairs toward her but she took a step back. They had a special knack for being able to be as close as lovers and the next moment being as distant as strangers.

They had to be at the club in twenty minutes but it was obvious that what they had been avoiding and side stepping for months was happening now.

"I don't know if you've noticed Luke but I don't have a lot of friends in my life," Luke went to interrupt but the look in her eyes told him that she needed to be listened to. "My dad is never home, Brooke won't talk to me, Haley has been someone I can count on and if I lose her friendship, who does that leave me?"

Luke stepped within an arms reach of her watching as confusion and frustration seeped into her brow.  
"You have me Peyton" and as the words took over the space around them her eyes lifted blue meeting brown, hope meeting salvation. "Do I?" her words slid along her cheeks.

"You always have" Luke reached out to her and as his fingers brushed her forearm she stepped back her glassy eyes clouding over.

She broke eye contact him and he swore he could see her emotions being pulled in, and one by one being locked away.

"We should go" the words drifted over her shoulder and it took a moment for Luke to register that Peyton was already making her way to the passenger side of the car.

"Peyton" but the words slammed into the closed car door.

She watched him walk around the front of the car, his eyes purposely looking anywhere but at her. She wished she could close her eyes and rewind time to that quiet moment on the second step of her porch before she destroyed their carefully crafted understanding.

What did her outburst accomplish anyways; they were right back to awkward glances and practiced gestures.

Peyton looked at Luke's side profile and expected to find the collected demeanor that he always carried but his eyes and his mouth conveyed nothing but confusion and frustration. She could tell by the way he was moving the gears that he was doing his best to hold it all in. 

Peyton turned her eyes away from him to the red light that was tight in front of them. She wanted to take it as some sign to stop running away from the problems they had because if they ever wanted to make what was between them work then he had to show her that he was worth her trust. She didn't know where to start or how to take that first step and as she saw the lights from Tric ahead of them she knew one thing she didn't want.

She didn't want to leave things like this, with him grasping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were turning white and with her sitting as far away from him as possible. So without looking at him she reached out to him brushing her fingers along the back of his hand. She didn't need to see him to know that it affected him; the space between them shifted releasing some of the tension. In the same heart beat his hand opened up to hers intertwining their fingers settling them on the seat between them. 

--------------------------------------------------------------- 

Haley could hear the hum of the crowd sway in and out in the main part of the club. She took a quick look in the mirror, Brooke had made her put a flower in her hair and she still wasn't sure about it.  
She thought it made her head look big.

"Haley, I think we have about 15 minutes do you want me to tape the song order to the stage floor?" Haley laughed as she nodded her head at Jake; he knew her so well she always freaked that she would forget what song was next.

"Jake have you seen Peyton she usually wishes me good luck, it's like a tradition."

"Nope I haven't, I'll be back in 10 and if I see her I'll tell her you're looking for her."

"Okay thanks" Haley shrugged after Jakes retreating back.

She turned back towards the mirror, she couldn't see it but she felt different tonight. The only thing that was slightly noticeable was that she didn't have slight bags under eyes from interrupted nights. She leaned in a little closer to the mirror; she was looking for any sign of the freshness and ease that she felt bursting within her. She was almost giddy and even the curve of her smile didn't give her any hint of it.

Had she become so good at hiding her emotions that even the good ones didn't register with her? Where had the Haley she used to be before the whole Nathan relationship go, was there any way to revive her, the girl who could laugh without hesitance, the girl who could trust without a second thought, the girl who didn't know what a broken heart felt like.

Haley looked at the worry lines that had settled into her forehead, the frown lines that traced her lips. They didn't make her ugly but they also weren't so overbearing that they hid their laugh lines or the slight imprint on her skin that maybe only she could see that were from the caresses and kisses from long ago. It didn't take away the slight shine of her heart that remembered what falling in love felt like because at one time she had been in love and no matter what Nathan did or said he had loved her, that she believed with every part of herself.

So if the slightly broken girl was too look back at her in the mirror and tell her that she could take her back to a time before Nathan, she would have refused. Falling in love, being in love was a part of her, it was the only time in her life that she felt alive and whole and she wouldn't trade that even if she was never to feel that way again.

"Haley, Jake said you were looking for me" Peyton tried to hide any hint of what had just happened between her and Luke from her eyes because she didn't want Haley to have any clue to how weak she could be. She didn't want Haley to question whether or not she could confide in her. She knew that pretty soon the girl before her would once again be torn in two and would need her support.  
Peyton wanted to be there for her.

"Yeah, I just… what's wrong?" Haley was a too good of a friend to not notice when something was wrong.

"Nothing, just club stuff," the lie fell so easily from her mouth and all Peyton could tell herself was that it was to protect Haley.

"Oh ok, well dude how am I supposed to go on stage without my good luck hug?" Haley leaned in and when she hugged Peyton she felt the tension rippling on her skin. "Peyton will you tell me what's wrong."

Peyton quickly plastered a smile on her face and nodded her head, "Its no big deal but yes"  
Haley's eyes held a certain hesitance but Peyton quickly knocked it away with a slight punch to Haley's forearm. "Come on Rock star its time." 

------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Nathan maneuvered himself between a chair and the wall. He made it a point to keep his head down and to stick to the shadowy parts of the club. For the hundredth time in five minutes he contemplated leaving. What was he doing here anyways? Anyone could see him, point him out and then his cover would be blown maybe a part of him wanted someone to find him out, to take the pressure off of him but then again he didn't want Haley to find out from anyone else.

He was a f---king mess.

On his best days he couldn't tell up from down but that's because no matter where he was or what he was doing his mind drifted back to Haley and the balance she gave him. Would he ever feel that way again?

The lights of the club dimmed and as Peyton walked out onto the stage a roar erupted from the crowd.

"Thanks for coming out tonight everyone but I have a feeling it wasn't to see me so without any further rambling for me Haley James and Jake Jagelski."

She looked beautiful with a mutli-colored dress on, her hair in curls with a small flower poking out above her left earlobe, she looked happy.

Nathan felt his heart fall.

Then Jake threw his arm around her shoulders pulled her in and placed a small kiss on the top of her head. Nathan tensed at the action even though he was sure it was just a friendly gesture. Someone would have told him, warned him if there was a Haley and Jake, wouldn't they have?

Did he even have any right to know?

The sound of her voice burst into his thoughts and he let himself get lost in its sound. He almost felt as if he had finally come home. 

She looked at ease on the stage, her fingers expertly flying across the keys, her head swaying along to the music and in the same thought Nathan's mind took him back.

_"Nathan, I've been calling you're cell phone. I was getting worried!" Haley ushered Nathan into the Café locking the door behind him. ___

_"Am sorry babe" placing his arms around her waist pulling her back to his chest, "dinner at Moms and Dads wasn't the best, you know. I left my cell phone there and I didn't want to go back in there and get it." ___

_Haley turned in his arms placing her head on his chest, "Do you want to talk about it?" ___

_Nathan pulled himself out of her arms slightly just enough so that she had to look up at him with her brown captivating eyes that were laced with concern and love. ___

_"You know," Nathan leaned in close to Haley's mouth, "what would…" __  
__The words falling from his tongue in a husky tone causing a flicker of a blush settle in her cheeks. ___

_He placed his lips on the corner of her small mouth, moving to the center of her mouth pausing for a split second "make me feel better?" __  
__The feel of her hands running up inside his jacket to bring him a little closer made the heat between them swallow the room. He moved his head to the left and placed a small kiss on the left side of her mouth. ___

_"Hmmm …" Haley let out a small sigh and Nathan fell into her, his body enveloping hers. You couldn't tell where he ended and she began. His cheek slid along hers so his lips brushed along her ear and in that passion filled voice that he knew sent chills up her spine he said, "If you played me a song" ___

_He let out a chuckle as Haley pushed him off of her with her small hands. "God Nathan you are such a tease," she blew at him as she made her way to the piano. ___

_"Takes one to know one," Nathan tried to bite the words back but it was too late, so he tried to laugh it off but it came out awkward and practiced. ___

_Haley shot him one of her glares that told him with no words that he was in trouble but the slight twinkle in her eye and a crack of a smile on her lips made him love her even more. She patted the empty space beside her and Nathan slid in next to her, capturing her familiar waist with his arm and placing a kiss on the spot that he loved so much a tiny heart shape birthmark on the plane of her neck. Sometimes he swore that's where his heart had been all this time and he relished in the thought that she was the one that had it all along. ___

_Her tiny fingers slid along the keys of the old piano and he would watch her mesmerized by how complete this moment was, just the two of them. __  
__That's all he would ever need._

Her voice was strong; she had always been so shy about her music and as she sat with the guitar on her lap, her back straight and a strong glow that captured the room he had never been more proud of her. With one last look over his shoulder he nodded his head and walked out the side door of the club.

---------------------------------   
Haley placed her guitar safely in its case brushing her hands along its strings and then closing the lid. She had played well tonight better than she ever had before but something was still missing, something inside of her tugged and she couldn't shake it.

She knew what it was and she wished that she could push it from her mind. 

Nathan hadn't been there.

Why did he make everything better? She hated herself for thinking such thoughts after so many months but its how she felt, she wanted to share this with someone special and he had been hers for so long. 

"Haley we are thinking of heading down to the beach setting up a big bonfire sorta like a last hurrah before school starts Monday." Brooke walked right pass Haley and started rummaging through the different contents on the vanity table.

"What are you doing Brooke, did you lose something?" Haley reached around Brooke to grab her jumper and her handbag.

"What, oh no I was just grabbing that lipstick you're wearing because I think it looks great and I don't want you to forget it, which I know you will so here put this in your bag and apply after you eat or drink." Haley snatched the lipstick threw it in her bag and threw her arm around Brookes shoulders walking them out of the backstage dressing rooms.

"A bonfire sounds great but I need to change so how about I meet you there" Haley rummaged in her purse for her keys.

"Sounds good call me on my cell on your way so I can tell you where were at exactly, I know how you are with directions" Brooke yelled after Haley who had already cleared the door by the time the last of her words had even been uttered out. 

----------------------------------------- 

Haley pressed the pedal of her gas a little harder than she should of and the car darted up her driveway. She was a bad driver and she always minded her p's and q's when it came to driving around other people but no one was in her car and no one was home so no one would care. Haley let out a little chuckle thinking what her mother would say to her if she had heard the car.

Haley closed the car door with a shot from her hip and pulled her handbag over her shoulders heading up the porch stairs with her head down trying to find her house keys, "Come on keys where are you, damn big purses with a lot of pockets, organized my ass, I can never find anything in here…arrrghhh!"

"You may wake the whole neighborhood if you continue to scream like that" 

Haley's head shot up at the sound and her eyes met the ones that had haunted her dreams and sucked the breath out her days. She felt herself sway as she felt the keys fall from her hands but all she could see was the boy before her the one that said he would love her forever, the one she never stopped loving and as the blur of her tears drowned her sight she felt the world swallow her whole. 

---------------------------------------------


	7. Tell me what you were thinking

Chapter 7

_TELL ME WHAT YOU WERE THINKING TO TREAT SOMEBODY SO_

A slight haze settled into the looming night and an eerie silence broke apart at the door of the James residence. The tension sat on a cliff and waited as the two figures caught in the riptide of the moment barely breathed.

Nathan battled his internal wants that dared him to reach out to the girl before him.

He hadn't been this close to her months, he could see the freckles that sat on her cheeks and he could almost feel her hair in between his fingers. Inside he rattled and fought to keep perspective in the moment.

He hadn't planned on going to her house after he had left the club. But as he sat behind the wheel of his car he had wrestled with the idea to just let her go, to keep driving and just leave the heartache that he had created in Tree Hill behind.

But in the end the selfish part of him won out. The tug of what if's and second chances pulled and clawed at him. He couldn't ignore it. He couldn't leave her behind without knowing.

As he stood before her, her round beautiful eyes looking up at him glassy with new tears, he couldn't help but feel sorry for her, for them. In this tangled complex situation that they were in.

He had brought this upon them. He had made choices; and not until this moment did he realize that he wasn't the only one that paid for them.

He had wished on every star on the sky to erase all of the tragic dramatic strings that were interlaced in his life so that he could just be with her so that they could just be them.

But what he had learned in the months that he had been gone is that you can't escape, you can't run because in the end the strings just pull you back and tear you apart. You had to face them and he knew he needed to do that.

He needed to face the part of him that so easily gave in to the belief that he wasn't good enough for any happiness. That he didn't deserve a life with mutual love and understanding.

He had created a guard around himself and he was content to live in that to hide apart of himself away. He hadn't known that the part of himself that he had hid and grown to become ashamed of could be loved and appreciated.

It had been drilled into him until it became law that he had to be that basketball player, the star of the team scoring the most points because without it he would be no one. No one would notice him. He would be some average guy and according to his father that was the worst fate.

But then Haley came into his life and she didn't care about any of that.

But a few months ago that hadn't been enough for him.

And as he stood here in front of her he couldn't exactly remember why.

She was more beautiful then he had remembered.

The silence between them shook the tension and it was too much for Nathan to bear.

He pulled her gently towards him and she came to him hesitantly at first but then her head placed itself against his chest and for the first time in months Nathan felt himself breathe.

The brushing of Nathan's arm along her waist muffled the voice inside of her pleading for her to take a step back.

She closed her eyes and let herself hope for a minute that if she opened them then maybe time would rewind itself. It would be seven months ago and she would be trying to figure out a way to sneak Nathan into her house past her parents sometimes watchful eyes.

But as she felt Nathan's breath travel down the back of her neck she opened her eyes and the glare of the moon brought back all of the memories of a night just like this. Nathan had walked so easily out of her life, breaking her in two and never offering her an explanation.

She felt as if she was in slow motion as she untangled herself from him. She took his hand and placed it against his chest pushing herself away from him.

"Hales" Nathan stepped towards her and the wood board creaked under his weight.

"Nathan, No" she tried to keep her voice strong but it came out in a whisper. She felt a slight shake travel up her legs and inside her a familiar battle between her head and heart was triggered.

Everything in her body said no, it rippled with a building anger, but her heart in its half broken state took reason and twisted it into a misshapen form. Haley could barely register it.

Against her better judgment she looked into his eyes and she felt her heart stumble. He was masked in sadness and concern. She didn't know what she had expected to find but the emotions that she wanted to have burned out and she felt the overbearing need to protect him come out in full force.

This is what he did to her, her feelings would become jumbled and her first concern would be for him.

His life, his parents, and basketball…..

She had been there for him through all of it. She didn't mind, she never asked why, she loved him and his pain was hers.

But as she continued to look at him she remembered the way his face had looked at her when he told her he was leaving.

The protectiveness instinct became overshadowed as the echo of his words rang in her ears. The dam that she had worked months at building to keep the heartache and pain at bay cracked wide open and engulfed her.

She wasn't the same Haley from a few months ago. She wasn't any stronger but the hurt that bubbled inside of her outweighed the love.

"What are you doing here" Haley's eyes shifted and looked past Nathan.

"I came back for you" Haley's eyes blinked back her tears and she took a deep breath trying to pull in the flutter of her heart.

She backed up and reached down for her keys focusing on the curve of her house key as she answered. "It's a little late Nathan"

"Haley---"

Haley put up her hand to stop him from talking.

"Did you really think it was going to be that easy, a simple sorry? If you did then you are sorely mistaken." Haley's words flew out with a stream of gestures from her hands and crashed into the black of the night.

"Haley I know a sorry wont cut it. I didn't think it would but I just wanted to see you and tell you that I still love----"

"Do not finish that sentence," Haley could feel herself becoming overwhelmed and any moment chaos would erupt in her and she couldn't do this, she just couldn't.

"I was happy Nathan, I loved you and you threw it in my face."

Nathan's eyes clouded with confusion and Haley almost wanted to laugh at that.

"I wouldn't…. and I didn't do that"

The anger inside her was seeping through and this time her voice came out strong.

"So saying that my love for you wasn't enough, what was that? If that's not throwing it in my face then, then---"

"You never asked me to stay."

"What?"

Nathan walked towards her and Haley stepped back. Her back hit her front door; Nathan placed his hand above her head bringing his down so that they were eye level.

"Why didn't you ask me to stay?" She heard desperation in his voice and it surprised her.

Her eyes searched his face, his chin, his cheek bones and finally his eyes and she felt herself start to tremble.

She couldn't stop herself from letting a tear escape and for a moment she was ashamed for how weak she appeared before him.

"Nathan, I never told you to go, I never told you to go…. but you did anyways, you made your choice." She felt as if her voice was not her own as they shrieked out of her. She placed her hands on his forearms trying to create some space between him and her. She felt like she was suffocating.

He put his hands on her shoulders trying to steady her. He wanted her to look at him so he could see her so she would not see past him.

"Haley I didn't have a choice don't you see that." Haley shook her head with a mix of anger and frustration. Finally her clouded eyes pierced his midnight ones.

"No, Nathan I don't because you never told me. You didn't let me in, you cut me out with no explanation, just ….just that my love wasn't enough for you, that I meant nothing to you."

"I never said that." But she wasn't looking at him.

She pushed past him walking to the edge of the porch. He could see her tremble and he hoped that it was from the cold.

"Yes you did and you can't change it. You can't take it back." She bowed her head and Nathan realized that maybe things would never be the same between them.

He ran his hands through his hair and looked back at her as she stared into the moonlight sky.

"Haley I didn't mean it."

Haley took a moment to clear the lump in her throat.

"Nathan you still left."

Nathan walked closer to her but still kept a fair distance between them. She seemed calmer and he didn't want to break the moment.

"Haley you have to know that I was always with you, I never left you."

She spun around to face him, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

"How dare you romanticize my pain. There's nothing romantic about it. You don't know what I went through. I was broken hearted Nathan and the hardest thing was not knowing if you were."

She walked past him and headed for her front door.

"I called you doesn't that tell you something." Nathan stepped away watching her struggle to get her key into the deadbolt.

"Don't bring that up now. Am tired just please go. Go home."

"I won't leave you Haley, not ever again." He saw her back shake and he made his hands into fists to suppress his urge to reach out to her.

The door slammed behind her and she dropped to her knees. Her seams ripped apart and everything that she had was exposed. The anger, the hurt, it all poured out of her. She placed her back against the door and pulled her knees to chest. She let a sob escape her lips as soon as her head hit the crook of her arms.

She heard him walk down her porch steps and the ache in her legs called for her to run after him. Confusion sat on chest like a heavy weight so she stayed where she was in the entrance of her house with all the lights off. She had never felt so lost.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"She not answering her phone, I've called it like 5 times already. Knowing her she's probably forgot her phone at home and now she's driving around lost trying to look for us on the beach." Brooke was pacing back and forth along the bonfire talking to Jake.

"Brooke maybe she decided not to come." Brooke looked back at Jake quickly sitting next to him. "No she wouldn't do that."

Jake couldn't help but smile, "How do you know that. You're not Haley's keeper."

Brooke playfully shoved Jake away from her and then quickly pulled him back.

"Because she wouldn't leave me alone with Peyton and Luke, that's why."

Jake placed his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in a little closer giving her a sideways glance. "I thought that you were over that and were giving them another chance."

Brooke looked over at Peyton and Luke sitting on the other side of the fire and with a slightly defeated look she turned back to Jake. "It's just easier when Haley is here."

"Well then am sure she's on her way."

Jake didn't like to see Brooke like this. It wasn't hard to see that her spirit always darkened a little when she was around Luke and Peyton. Jake couldn't blame her either. He had been disappointed in Luke when he found out that he had cheated on Brooke.

He hadn't even been friends with Brooke then but he had seen what it had done to her through what Peyton and Haley told him.

In the last few months when he had been hanging out with Haley, Brooke sometimes would come along. He had to admit that she was fun and when she was around he could see that Haley was a little more carefree. So if she could do that for Haley then Jake didn't see what the problem with giving her chance was.

Brooke wasn't the type of person that actually asked for permission to be your friend she just kind of became one without you even knowing.

That's what had happened with them. This teasing relaxing relationship developed between them. She was the crazy one and he was the sane one and somehow that worked.

"You're right, you're right she's on her way." Brooke got up and headed for the coolers but instead of reaching for a beer she grabbed Jake's guitar case.

"You know, "Brooke kneeled and placed Jakes guitar case in his lap, "there aren't any songs with the name Brooke in them."

Jake smiled at her, "Well isn't that a shame." He started to strum a few of the strings, "Well I think I may have to do something about that."

Brooke threw him one of her famous smiles as she sat next to him. "I thought you might say that."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I am sorry about earlier" Peyton was the first one to break the silence that had seemed to go on for hours.

"Peyton you don't have to apologize, its how you feel and I need to know that. Good or bad." Luke reached for her hands and she let him take hers between his. It was a small gesture but it made them seem closer then farther apart and they both needed that.

Peyton looked away from their intertwined hands and took a glimpse at the fire. She caught Brooke looking at her and instinctively she let go of Luke's hands.

"Hey do you want to go for a walk." Peyton was already getting up and dusting off her jeans as she threw the question out at Luke.

"Yeah" He didn't know what was going on with Peyton she was hot one minute and cold to him the next. Its not that he wanted to bail from their relationship, he knew the struggle they faced was worth it.

They walked down the length of the beach kicking sand and every once in awhile Luke would have to pull Peyton from the water as it came towards her.

She would laugh and the weight around them seemed to lift.

"If you're not careful, you're going to get soaked and you can't get in my car like that." Peyton stuck out her tongue at him, "Well thank goodness you're here to make sure I don't fall in."

The water rolled out and Peyton crept in closer. "I just want to see how far I can get out there without getting wet." Before she got the words out the water came crashing into the shore. Luke grabbed her forcibly back to him and they both ended up falling into the sand.

"Are you wet, am not wet." Luke went to stand up and Peyton pulled him back down.

"We are both okay." Peyton settled her back to his chest and pulled his arms around her.

Luke placed his cheek against her temple as he placed his arms around her. "You're right we will be okay."

Only the sound of the ocean and the light of the moon kept the two company. At this moment that's all they really needed.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Not like this, her crying and him yelling.

For a moment he thought he saw fear in his eyes.

Nathan wanted to throw something or pound his fist into anything or anyone.

What had he become? Who had become?

He was caught off guard by a slight movement from the corner of the living room. He hadn't even noticed that he had been entering Lucas's house. He felt so out of touch with everything around him.

But the face of Karen looking back at him from the rocking chair in the pocket of the small living room brought him back to where he was.

"Am sorry did I wake you?" Nathan fidgeted with the keys in his hands as he looked around the house for any sign of Luke.

"No Nathan actually I was waiting up for you" Karen pointed for Nathan to sit on the couch. She didn't fail to notice that the tall young man before her seemed nothing more than a little boy at this moment.

She hadn't known Nathan as a child. She was ashamed to admit that maybe in the beginning she was a little jealous of him. Whenever she thought of him or saw him she felt that he had stolen her son's future. But that was barely a thought because it wasn't hard to see that Nathan was no more than a pawn in Dan Scott's grand scheme.

She had been upset to see the way he had treated Luke when he had first joined the team. But Luke had gotten over that and had even established a relationship with Nathan. He had even gone so far as to call Nathan his brother and the happiness that Luke felt from that made her want to get to know Nathan better.

Nathan looked up at her and Karen felt her heart go out to him.

"Ms. Roe I just want to thank you for letting me stay here, but I will be gone as soon as possible."

Karen's hand instinctively reached out for his resting it on top of his.

"Nathan it's not a problem and you can stay here as long as you like."

Nathan looked at her hand on his and he realized he couldn't remember what his mothers hands felt like.

"Its okay Ms. Roe, I know it must be awkward for you to have me here and I don't want to cause any trouble." Nathan went to stand up but Karen caught on to his actions and stood up before him. She turned him to her as she sat down on the couch next to him.

"Nathan you are my son's brother and that makes you my family too. Since you are family you are welcome to stay here as long as you need. But if this is awkward for you then your welcome to do what you feel is best but where would you go?"

Nathan looked at her for the first time in the eyes and for some reason he knew that he could tell her anything and she would understand.

"I don't know. I can't go back to my dad's, I haven't spoken to my mother in eight months and I honestly don't know what I would say to her. The only other person that I trust yelled at me to leave her alone." His head fell into his hands and brushing his eyes he whispered, "My world has disappeared and it's my fault, it's my entire fault."

Karen took the child before her in her arms and rocked him as if he were her own.

"Nathan you have Luke and I. I don't want to pretend that I know what is going on in your life but I can say for sure that it's not all your fault. But just know that Luke and I are here for you. You aren't alone."

She felt him hold on to her a little tighter and she felt tears edge there way into her eyes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He struggled to get the key into the door. He was already frustrated and just as he was about to break the door down it popped open.

He threw his bags inside and looked for the light switch.

It had been almost a year since he had been here and nothing had changed.

He took a quick look around the Beach House and headed for the second floor.

He was almost sure that he would find him here. Where else would Nathan go?

But when the boy's room came up empty, Dan didn't know where else to look.

It was too late to do anything, but he would find him.

Just as Dan was about to turn off the light to Nathan's room he saw a picture stuck in his sons mirror. It was a picture of Nathan and Haley on the beach. Dan tore it off the mirror and crushed it in his hand.

He would do the same to Haley. She was the problem. She had probably called Nathan and begged him to come back.

Dan had been mistaken he thought he was making Nathan stronger. Helping him to realize and achieve the destiny that was meant for him. But he had underestimated Haley's pull on him.

He wouldn't make that mistake again.


	8. Hold Me Now

**THE LENGTHS ….**

**Chapter 8**

_HOLD ME NOW_

Haley tried to ignore the weight of the sun that was nudging her out of her safe place. She tried to avoid it by burrowing herself further into her blankets but in the end the sun won out.

She was trying to keep her distance from the thoughts that were trying to invade her but it was useless so she just gave in.

She threw on her jeans, her Ravens Math Club sweatshirt and slipped on her bow ballet shoes. She grabbed her keys and headed to the one place she knew she needed to be. The one person she knew that would be affected by Nathan's presence as much as she was.

Haley wanted to focus on something, on anything besides herself. She preferred to try and hide her feelings under her pillow because some were just still to raw.

She pulled her hair back into a pony tail and took one last look at herself before she pulled out of her driveway.

The ride over was a complete blur and not until she found the key under the flower pot did she take a breath.  
She sat on the porch steps and stared into the space before her. She didn't know how she was going to break it to Luke that his brother that had barely been present in their lives was now back.

It was no secret to Haley the closeness that Nathan and Luke shared. She had even been acknowledged by both boys for having played a hand in it.

Even though the boys had even began to form a relationship outside her she didn't regret or become jealous of it.

Nathan needed people in his life that only had good intentions and Luke had wanted to get to know his brother.

It had been amazing to watch the easiness develop between them and at times it seemed as if there had never been any hazing or bad blood between the two. Even now as Haley thought back on the three of them the past year hanging out, going to the movies her heart swelled. 

They all had never been so happy and with one decision it all had shattered.

Haley had a lot of feeling running through her and one of them was guilt for the position Luke was now in, between her and Nathan. Luke had been her best friend through all of this, helping Haley to pick up the pieces as best as he could and now Haley was here to return the favor.

She hoisted herself up with the help of the railing and made her way up the steps of the sleeping house.   
---------------------------------------------------------- 

Luke picked up his blanket from the floor for the fifth time that night. He pulled it over his head and turned his body toward the back of the couch to block out the sun.

He didn't mind sleeping on the couch sure he was two times longer than it and there was this weird lump in one of the cushions that made him change positions every thirty minutes but it was one night and he could handle it.

His Mom had been awake when he gotten home greeting him with a pillow and blanket. She had given him a brief run down of what Nathan had gone through with Haley along with a promise that they would fix up the study as a room so that both boys would have a bed to sleep on.

So here Luke lay staring at the ceiling.

Just as he was about to switch on the television he heard the knob on the front door turn.

Luke quickly took a mental checklist. Nathan hadn't emerged from the back room and he knew that his mom always slept in on Sundays because the Café didn't open till noon.

That only left one person who knew where the emergency key was and she wouldn't, why would she even?

Luke jumped from the couch not even taking a moment to throw on his jeans over his boxers.

"AAAH Luke, you freaking scared me" Haley screamed shoving Luke away from her.

Luke froze in his place trying to gauge whether or not Haley's screams had disrupted any of the sleeping heads.

He hadn't even realized that his hand had placed itself over Haley's mouth until she bit him.  
"Ow damnit Haley" Luke whispered as he removed his hand from her mouth shaking the pain out of it.

"Well it's your own fault, you scared me" Haley answered as she closed the door behind her. "Please before I turn around will you put some jeans on?"

Luke barely registered what she was saying as a noise from the back room caused him to freeze in his place.

He was brought back to the present when he heard Haley laughing. "Oh yeah hold on, and what are you doing here so early?"

Haley tapped her foot and covered her eyes with her hands. "Well there's something that I have to tell you and I thought I should tell you in person."

When Haley turned around Luke was rummaging through the living room, throwing pillows and cushions every which way.

"Luke what are you doing?" Luke shot his head up to look at her and waved the keys at her. "Looking for my keys, found them lets go!" 

"Where are we going?" Haley slapped at Luke's hands that were positioned on her shoulders guiding her to the door.

"Geese Haley stop beating me up, am just trying to take you to breakfast." Luke knew he had to get her out of the house and as far away from a sleeping Nathan before he woke up and with how much noise they were making it would be any minute.

Haley stopped in her tracks forcing Luke who was barely paying any attention to fall over bringing a chair down with him as he tried to catch his fall.

Haley began to laugh but her face quickly changed to one of concern as Luke stared up at her with a look of horror on his face.

"Man people are trying to sleep….." Nathan's words cut the room in half.

Haley was in a state of shock, her eyes just shifted between the two as she slowly backed up towards the front door. She turned her body to leave but quickly looked back at them lifting her hand to say something but instead she pulled her hand back to her chest and ran out the door. 

Both guys kept frozen in their place after a moment Nathan's voice shot Luke into action.  
"Luke go after her!"

He caught up with Haley as she was walking down the sidewalk.

"Haley wait, let me explain" Haley turned to him with expectant eyes and Luke couldn't find anything to say.

"Luke its okay, he's your brother you don't need to explain that." 

Luke was surprised by the calm way she was handling the situation. He looked her over "So you're not mad?"

Haley looked away from him for a slight moment and then turned her big brown eyes at him.  
"No of course not but I am disappointed."

And there it was he saw the way her whole body shifted and a slight fire ignite in her eyes.

"Do you know why I came by this morning Luke?" He knew she wasn't really looking for a response so he just nodded his head.

"Because I came to tell my best friend that his brother was in town. I know how hard you took it when he left and I thought that you should hear it from me." Haley's voice caught in her throat betraying the strong attitude she wanted to have. But the effect she wanted had been made. She saw the veil of guilt sweep over Luke.

"Haley, Nathan wanted to see you himself and I thought it best that you find it out from him hat he was back." Luke straightened out his shoulders, how could she argue with that but she stood there before him void of any emotion just her big brown eyes dim in the morning sun.

It seemed as if a year had passed before she said anything.

"He just showed up at my door, he was standing there and all I wanted to do was hold him. Does that make any sense?" Haley wrapped her arm around herself trying to hold in all of the emotions that threatened to take her over. "If he would have asked me in that first split second that I saw him to forget the last few months, I really think I would have."

Haley could feel her hands shake as she poured out her true feelings for the first time in a long time. She buried her hands in her pockets and began to walk away from Luke and just like she knew he would he follow.

Luke watched the hurt entangle with her confusion and seep into every part of Haley and he wondered how she ever kept it hidden from him.

He reached out to her and she naturally fell into his arms.  
"Haley it makes sense, you love him and even though so much has happened between the two of you that's something that can't just change over night. It doesn't have an off and on switch." Luke kissed the top of her head and Haley buried herself deep into his arms. 

They just stood on the edge of the sidewalk a few blocks from his house. Luke would have stayed there forever if she needed that but she pulled away a few minutes later.

"Haley" "Luke" and the same wide smile spread across both of their faces. 

"Hales you know I am here for you" and just like that Haley's smile vanished replaced with glassy eyes.

"Don't you get it Luke your not here for me, you can't be. Nathan found you first this time."

He reached out for her, "Haley I can be there for you and Nathan," but caught her wrist instead. "No you can't, I won't put you in the middle," she twisted out of his hold and ran away from him. 

He stood at the same spot where he had held her only moments earlier and watched as her car flew out of his driveway and into the street.   
-------------------------------------------------------- 

"Luke I've already called her cell phone twice, her house and I left messages at both. What more can I do?" Peyton was now in panic; Luke had called her ordering her out of desperation and worry to call Haley. He had been convinced that Haley was avoiding his calls. 

"There's only one more thing and I can't do it, you have to."

Peyton knew it would come to this, "Luke, she won't answer her phone if she sees that it's me calling. We play the polite avoiding game pretty well."

Luke sighed into the phone, "It's for Haley and if Brooke knows that then I know she will listen."  
Peyton bowed her head and took a deep breath, "Ok, I will call you back."  
Luke couldn't control the smile that cracked onto his face, "Thanks Peyton."

Luke set down the phone and turned to see two sets of worried eyes looking back at him." Peyton is going to call Brooke am sure she's with her."

Nathan set his hands flying through the air. "If anything happens to her I won't forgive myself."

Karen caught Nathan's hands and pulled him to face her, "Am sure she's ok." Luke was amazed at how quickly his mother's words seemed to settle his brother's nerves.

Peyton was ready to throw the phone across the room. Brooke wasn't answering her phone and Peyton knew she shouldn't be surprised but she sure as hell could be frustrated.

It was quickly approaching noon and it had been hours since anyone had seen or heard from Haley. Peyton couldn't help but feel the worry gnaw at her. If only Peyton hadn't kept the secret of Nathan in town.

If she told Haley from the beginning she wouldn't be missing right now. At the time it had seemed like the right thing to do but now, now she wished she had done things differently. Not that she thought Haley would do anything stupid to endanger herself. Peyton just knew Haley was feeling betrayed by everyone.

Peyton grabbed her car keys and as she headed out the door to her car she dialed one more number.

"Jake, hey its Peyton, Haley's missing." The line was silent as though Jake was taking a moment to digest it all.

"What do you mean missing, when did this happen."

"So you haven't heard from her?" Peyton slid into her car seat trying to  
put her emotions in check.

"No, not since yesterday she told Brooke and I to meet her for lunch  
at the Cafe, she's supposed to work there today."

Peyton put her car in reverse determined to find Haley herself and explain things, " Well maybe she will show up, its just last night she found out that Nathan was back in town and this morning she found out Luke had known for awhile, so needless to say--"

"Things didn't go well" Jake let out a small curse under his breath. 

"No, not at all, look I have to go am going to look for her." Peyton hung up the phone before she knew the tears that were threatening to come spilled into her voice and betrayed her feelings.

This is exactly what she did not want to happen; would Haley be mad at her too?

---------------------------------------------------------- 

Jake thoughts were shaken as he heard a familiar honk outside his house. As he was grabbing Jenny's car seat Brooke came bounding through the door, she always knew how to make an entrance.

"Jake we are going to be late so you grab Jenny and I will hook this thing up in the backseat." Before Brooke could make it back out the front door Jake called out to her.

"Brooke before we go there's something I have to tell you."

He saw the way she tensed and figured the last time someone said that to her that it had shattered her. He never wanted to be one of those people.

"Sit down" She looked at him with her big brown eyes and only moved to sit when Jake placed his hands on hers and guided her down to the couch.

"Nathan is back in town---"  
"What, When?"

Jake scratched his head trying to make sure he had all of his information, "A few days ago but he only talked to Haley last night, that's why she never made it to the bonfire."

Brooke made a move to stand but then fell back onto the couch. "Oh my god poor Haley she must be devastated."

"She is especially since she found out this morning that Luke has known for the past few days and never told her."

Jake watched as each piece of new information seemed to add fuel to the fire that was building in Brooke. It never ceased to amaze him the magnitude of protection that Brooke had for Haley.

"What can we do, Jake, Where is she?" The sadness quickly took a hold of Brooke, she felt helpless.

"I don't know but we should go to the Cafe maybe she will still go to work." Brooke nodded her head and made a move to get the car seat.   
--------------------------------------------------------------- 

"I thought I might find you here."

Haley wasn't surprised to hear Nathan's voice behind her. What did startle her was that she half expected it and wanted to hear it. She pretended not to look at him as he sat down on the bench beside her. 

He was looking out at the water and she let herself wonder for only a fraction of a moment if he was remembering all of the good times they had here.

She had found herself here many times during the last six months, when she was trying to escape. It had surprised her the first time she had found herself at the docks and the memories didn't completely destroy her. It had done the exact opposite.

It had helped her to remember all of the good times that Nathan and she had shared.

Even though she was completely hurt by his actions she still loved him that was the one thing she couldn't escape. The truth was she didn't want to and here at the docks, where they had met so many times to study, on dates, or just to pass the time, she didn't have to.

She had seen it as their place and everything seemed possible when she was here.

Nathan's voice brought her back to the present, "I asked Luke not to tell you I was here. I wanted to tell you myself so don't be mad at him."

Nathan watched as Haley just nodded her head. For one quick moment he glanced down to her feet and a small smile crept on to his face. Something's didn't change; Haley still couldn't touch the ground when she sat properly on the bench.

_"I swear everything in this town is made for tall people." Haley set down the math book and rested her chin on her hand. Nathan looked up from the practice math sheet he was working on. ___

_"What? Why do you say that?" ___

_Nathan could never be surprised by what Haley had to say. Over the past few weeks of meeting her at the docks he had come to learn a lot about her. For one she could be quiet random throwing out anything that happened to cross her mind. He had to admit that he liked that about her. ___

_She kept things interesting. It also let him believe that she was becoming comfortable around him. The first week had been trying he didn't think she would ever let her guard down. He didn't know exactly when or how it happened but Haley started to let him in. ___

_"It just seems that at any of these public tables or benches my feet can never touch the ground. It's just a little annoying." ___

_Haley pulled a few loose strands behind her ear and then continued to search the surface of the table for whatever item she seemed to have lost. ___

_Haley was smart and logical but she was always losing something or going off on some tangent. She was a goof, a complete anomaly to him. ___

_"Well maybe Haley you are just short" and just like he knew he would he got her complete attention. ___

_She gave him the evil eye and with a smile trying to stay hidden on her lips she chuckled out an, "excuse me!" ___

_Nathan patted her hand not failing to notice the jolt of electricity that rallied up his arm,Nathan smirked, "Don't get me wrong Hales, I like that about you" ___

_Haley quickly looked away but nothing could hide the blush that had exploded onto her cheeks._

It was moments like those that had Nathan quickly come to the realization that he was falling for her. Sitting here next to her it almost felt that maybe they could have moments like those again. 

Haley shifted in her seat and Nathan was quickly reminded of the reason he had come out here.

"Everyone is worried about you, Lucas called the cavalry." Nathan tried to laugh it off but Haley stayed unfazed and glued to the water.

It took her a moment to ask why and when she did Nathan couldn't help but get angry.

"Because you ran away without letting Luke or I explain."

Haley jumped out of her seat, "How dare you get angry with me you have no right and How was I supposed to know you were going to explain. You sure as hell didn't last time." As the last words shrieked from her Haley shook her head and ran away.

Nathan followed her down the Parks walk path, he could tell by the way her tiny hands were making fists that she was in a mood to fight.

The smart thing to do would be to let the last comment go but whatever sanity or control he had over his emotions was always weakened in her presence.

"I know I didn't explain but did you ever think it was to protect you." Haley turned on her heels and waited till Nathan was face to face with her. She was so mad that she couldn't even focus on Nathan all she could see was red.

"Protect me from what Nathan? Do I look protected, does it look like you going away helped me. Because I have never been as miserable and lost in my whole life as I do now."

Nathan brushed away the tears that slid along Haley's cheeks, "Baby am lost too, I don't know what am doing half the time but the only thing I know for sure is that I don't ever want to hurt you." 

"Then why am I hurting Nathan, why is it when I look at you or think of you my heart hurts."

Nathan pulled her tiny frame into his embrace, she felt small and fragile and he realized that he could break her.

Nathan tried to shake the lump in his throat and took a deep breath savoring the smell of vanilla that greeted him.

"Because I did the one thing I said I wouldn't." Haley pulled away from him and Nathan felt cold.

"You said you would always be there for me."

Nathan closed his eyes, "I wanted to be with you more than anything" 

Haley reached out to him her hands intertwining with his. Nathan opened his eyes and caught hers. He watched her as her eyes shifted to look down at their intertwined hands as if she needed to see it to believe it herself.

"Just tell me Nate, why go then?"

"Would it make any difference?"

Haley looked out to the water and then back at him, "I don't know" 

"Then just believe me when I say that I did it for us. I left because at the time it was the best thing. It hurts like hell now but if I would have stayed it could have been much worse. It would have been much worse."

Nathan felt disappointed in himself because he couldn't bring himself to tell the truth. He couldn't admit to her that his father had this control over him that the power he held over him was Haley.

His father played upon his emotions, the weak part of him as he would say. The only thing was the emotions and feelings that kept him breathing all led to Haley.

If she knew this it would only make her feel guilty and scared, it would help no one.

Haley saw the clouded look take over Nathan's features and knew that he would say no more. He once again had made a decision for the both of them and she was left in the dark.

"It's not enough for me Nathan; I can't just take your word anymore. So many of them have hurt me and since you refuse to tell me the truth of your actions, I ---"

Nathan's mouth was on top of hers before the last words could escape her mouth.

Haley fought her instinct to wrap her arms around him and breathe him in. She tried to push him away but it was as if her body had a mind of its own.

Her mouth opened to let his tongue enter mouth and she couldn't help the moan that vibrated from within her as she felt the caresses of his tongue against hers.

Her arms came up and around his neck as his hands found the buttons of her jacket opening it to let his hands find her body underneath it. 

She felt herself drowning in him. In his hands she was turning to liquid and she didn't care. She missed him, God she missed this, the fire that he could only build inside her. She let his hands roam all along her at the same time pulling her as close to him as possible.

This is where she belonged there was no denying that. She felt the most alive in his touch. She knew it was the same for him. She'd always been so sure of that, of his love for her. But now she had doubt. It had seeped in and she couldn't shake it.

She couldn't believe him or trust him as she had always been able to do.

She pulled away first and she felt herself ache.

"Haley, don't," he reached to pull her back and Haley stepped away "Haley, I love you!"

Haley didn't try to stop the tears that came to her eyes, "Why can you tell me that now? But when I asked you to tell me you loved me, you didn't, now when you say it am just not so sure."

Nathan felt her hair in between his fingers and with a slight movement with his hand he placed her head under his chin. Even when she was so close to him, her arms tightly wrapped around his waist, she had never felt so far from him. 

----------------------------------------------------------- 

Haley grabbed her apron from the peg lost in her thoughts. Nathan lips, his smell, the way he breathed her name still had her entranced.

But the longer she thought of him, the way his eyes had fallen when she had told him that she couldn't trust his love, words were no longer enough would start to haunt her. It had hurt her to say it out loud but it was the truth and even if he couldn't give that to her, she couldn't give him anything less.

Haley pulled her hair back into a ponytail and shook the haze of lust and hurt that threatened to take her over completely.

As she placed her hand on the door that led to the front of the Café she heard him, Dans voice it was low but there was no mistaking it. 

" We can do this, we can start over."

"Dan you don't even know where Nathan is at"

"All you have to do is find Haley am sure he's not to far from her." 

Haley was surprised to hear Deb. Karen had been nice enough to make sure that Haley and Deb rarely shared a shift. It had been evident that Deb still held a lot of animosity towards Haley. Instinctively Haley undid her apron and headed out the same back door she had come in. 

She didn't need to hear the conversation to know where it was heading. It was the same one they have had been having for years.

Dan would weave a picture of family and his eagerness to change. Deb vulnerable to his words and charm would always fall for it. It was the constant game of push and pull, with Nathan always in the middle. 

He was like the ultimate prize between them. It was never with the best of intentions, Dan needed Nathan because he was his legacy and for Deb it was the appearance of family, the money, the handsome husband, and the popular son. Even though she knew there were layers of dysfunction Deb tried to hide it with smiles and the Scott name. 

Haley was almost to her car when she saw Brooke and Jake pulling up. She walked towards the car and was almost mauled over by Brooke as she flew out of the car.

"Oh my God, we have been looking for you everywhere. You didn't show up to work so we went out looking for you."  
Haley smiled at Brooke and nodded to Jake, "So I guess you heard that Nathan is back."

Haley could read Brooke like a book; she saw the worry in her friend's eyes but also knew that Brooke was trying to pick her words carefully.

"Brooke am alright, I just needed sometime alone. Am actually glad to see you both, I have a favor to ask."

Brooke linked arms with Haley and glanced back at Jake, "Of course, anything. What can we do?"

"I just saw that Dan is back and I think Nathan should know it's just that I can't…I can't see him right now."

Haley hated this weak part of her, the part of her heart that wouldn't let her say his name without a lump forming in her throat.

She glanced away from Brooke trying to hide the sadness in her eyes even though she knew that Brooke didn't have to see it to know it was there.

Haley didn't even realize that Brooke had placed her back in her car and if she would have let her she was sure Brooke might have even buckled her in.

"Sure Haley, we will let him know, you just head home and-"

"Thanks Brooke you're a good friend, I will."

Haley put her car in drive and with a slight wave to her two friends in the parking lot looking at her with concern Haley headed home.   
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Luke opened the door and glanced around the large empty house. He locked the door behind him and traveled up the stairs that he knew with his eyes closed.

When he reached her bedroom door he lightly pushed it open. Sometimes he was caught off guard by the sixteen year old girl that he would find before him. He always expected Haley's eight year old baby soft face with large brown eyes to look back at him.

The years of walking into her room had passed many things had changed but she was still his best friend and the only person, besides his mother that knew him better than he knew himself.

He was also the only person that knew her inside and out. Even though she swore up and down that she didn't need him, that she could be strong, that he could be there for Nathan, he could see right through her.

He had known Haley for half of his life and he had been there for her in her most trying times. He had learned from previous fights with her parents, the neglect from her brothers and sisters that she always tried to put on a brave face.

She didn't want to burden anyone with her crying. In her young life it had never done any good to depend on someone. But even on those nights when he would call her and she would try to hide the hurt from whatever episode that had occurred Luke could always detect it. So without her asking he would come over to her house and be there for her.

If she needed to talk, to cry, or just someone to hold on to.

Luke knew that she may feel betrayed by him at the moment but she also knew him well enough to know that he did it with the best of intentions.

So Luke sat at the edge of Haley's bed close to her laying form. He slid off his shoes and waited for her. He knew Haley was the type of person that needed her space and only asked for help when she wanted it. Luke slid his body up against the head board so he was sitting up and just let the silence breathe in and out between them.

Ten minutes must have passed before she turned her body facing him and buried her head in his chest. She looked at him with her big eyes and he saw a silent wave of thanks pass through them. She pulled away from him, covered her head with blanket and after about twenty minutes

Haley's breathing turned to a steady rhythm and Luke closed his eyes waiting for sleep to take him over as well.   
-------------------------------------------------------------- 

Nathan sat on the edge of his bed in what was formally known as the study. He had been quite surprised to find it all fixed up for him.

It had been quite a full day. The events kept running through him at full speed and even though he was sitting still the vibration of emotions made it feel as if he was running.

He ran his hands along his face and hair trying to make himself focus. He closed his eyes but whenever he did, he saw her face and he felt her. It gave him a bittersweet comfort.

Nathan jumped to his feet and headed over to the window. He had also just found out that his father was in town and there was no doubt in Nathan's mind that it was to find him.

There was no escaping him so this time Nathan wouldn't run. But he couldn't help but feel bad that Dan would soon set his sights on those that helped him. Karen and Luke would be the first to feel it but in the end it would all fall on Haley.

Haley had his heart, and Dan hated that.


	9. NOTHING TO LOSE

**THE LENGTHS ….Chapter 9**

_NOTHING TO LOSE_

Haley straightened her books in her arms and headed for her locker. School had let out more than an hour ago but she had stayed behind to get the tutoring center ready for the new school year.

She really had just needed sometime to think and the tutoring center was empty except for a few moments when Luke and Peyton had stopped by to see if she needed a ride home but she had been mostly alone.

The day had moved slowly and at times Haley felt as if she was in a haze. She knew that Nathan would be coming to school and she had prepared herself for it the night before. She wasn't as tense and nervous to see him and she couldn't deny that a small part of her wanted to be near him. All night she had reflected on their time at the docks, the feel of his hands and lips and how right it had felt, even with everything between them.

But even though the hurt was not as charged and overbearing as it had been all those months he had been gone a part of her just couldn't go back to the way they were before. She knew Nathan wanted that and she did too but a "sorry and I love you" wasn't going to sugar coat it. She needed more but the irony of it all was that she didn't know what that more was. She couldn't tell Nathan exactly what actions he would have to take to make it alright and she wished more than anything that she did. If only it was that easy.

Haley reached for her history book and she remembered how surprised she had been to see Nathan walk into her class. She had hoped that seeing him wouldn't shake the facade of indifference that she had been preparing all morning but it had. She had been kidding herself she knew that when it came to Nathan he affected her in a way she couldn't understand.

When he slid in the seat next to her she couldn't help but look over at him. When she did she caught his beautiful blues looking back at her. He smiled; a careful but genuine smile and she felt her breath catch in her throat. She instinctively returned his smile and was thankful when some guys from the basketball team came in between them.

She turned attention back to the front of her class but she couldn't help but keep her ears open to hear Nathan's voice. It was light and strong and she had missed it.

Haley slung her backpack over her shoulder and headed down the hallway. She would be walking home, it wasn't really too far and she looked forward to some fresh air.

She heard a slight noise come from right side of the hallway, she found herself making her way there curious to see if it was what she thought it was.

She found herself in front of the gym doors and there he was. The basketball flowed from his hand to the ground and the sound of his feet against the court was music in its own right. She leaned against the jam of the door, she knew she should walk away, go home before he saw her but she couldn't her heart wouldn't let her.

It was almost like déjà vu to her, this time last year she would meet him here at the gym after she had finished in the tutoring center. He was a perfectionist when it came to basketball and even after his practice was over he would always stay behind. She didn't mind, she would wait in the bleachers pretending to do her homework but really she would just watch him.

The way his body would move gracefully along the court and the way the ball would seem to be apart of his body almost as if he had been born with it. She was always hypnotized by him and she felt special that Nathan shared this time with her.

In the beginning she had told him that she could get a ride home from Lucas but he had asked her to wait for him. She couldn't refuse him but she really did want to stay.

At games he was always the standout but she had to share him with the rest of the crowd and here just the two of them he was all hers.

Haley smiled at the thought and pulled some strands of hair that had fallen from her ponytail back over her ear. She felt his name on the tip of her lips and just before her mind could think it over and override her need to call out to him the air in the gym shifted.

On the other side of the gym Haley saw Dan walk through the double doors and instantly the tension took over the expansive room. She saw the basketball turn in Nathan's hands and even from as far away as she was she could see tightness take over Nathan's whole body.

"I knew I would find you here" Nathan watched as his father slammed the door behind him. He knew this was coming that Dan would track him down but he thought he would have more time. It was inevitable but for some reason Nathan felt completely caught off guard.

"I wasn't hiding from you dad" Nathan refused to look Dan in the eyes he didn't have to see him to know how Dan was looking at him. It was always a mixture of power and disappointment, especially in the gym, it was the only way Dan ever saw him. He wanted power and control over Nathan and not until lately he had always had it.

"You may not have been hiding but you did run away Nathan," Dan was standing in between him and the basket giving Nathan no choice but to look at him eye to eye.

"I can't for the life of me understand why, you were on your way Nathan to a real future something we have been planning for all of your life and you just threw it away."

"No, Dad you have been planning it and I just couldn't go along with it anymore." Nathan stepped to the left to step past by him but Dan was quicker, he reached for Nathan and caught his forearm stopping him in his tracks.

"You ungrateful little bastard" the words gritted out of Dans mouth and stung Nathan as he felt Dans fingers push into his skin. Nathan tugged his arm away but Dan held him back.

"I got you into high fliers, your game has never been better and you have the opportunity

of a lifetime to go to a basketball school this year and you just leave. Do you know what you're throwing away?"

"Yes Dad I know exactly what am throwing away am throwing away your life because it sure as hell isn't mine. You moved me away from the only place I know. I was suffocating there and you didn't see it. It's not the life I want; I don't want one that you give to me just because you want me to complete the dreams that you never could."

Nathan knew he should just walk away but this was a long time coming and he couldn't stop myself.

They were facing each other two men bound by blood and nothing else. Nathan had at times wondered if his dad ever loved him. He can vaguely remember a handful of times when Dan had actually ever admitted any fatherly inkling towards him. Most of his life Dan had been his Coach everything was related to basketball.

"Nathan you're giving up the only future available to you. You have never been good at school; do you really think your going to go to college solely based on academics? If you are son then you're even more hopeless than I thought." Dan let go of Nathan's arm and paced around him, holding Nathan's gaze as a challenge to see what his son would do.

Nathan wanted to look away from him, but apart of him believed what Dan was saying to him. He knew that he screwed up a lot school wise that had been his own doing but he wouldn't tell Dan that. "I don't have to listen to this am leaving." Nathan made his way to the south doors set to leave this hell that was brewing inside the gym doors.

"Where are you going? To Haley"

Nathan stopped in his tracks, "Don't say her name"

"Why Nathan is she the love of your life. Did she take you back after you walked out on her?"

Nathan couldn't hold back the anger that built up inside of him with each laugh that accompanied Dan's words. He could feel the heat in his hands and he clenched them to keep himself in control.

He knew Dan was egging him on. He wanted him to lash out and Nathan was so close to the edge that it scared him.

"She didn't did she? What did you expect? She's a smart girl…"

A noise from the corner of the gym made both Scott men look up.

Haley stood frozen in her tracks and she cursed herself for not being able to walk away ten minutes ago. But she hadn't been able to leave Nathan. She had never seen first hand the ridiculing ways that Dan manipulated Nathan.

Nathan had always protected her from that. She hated herself for not being able to do anything for him now.

"Well there she is now!" A sly grin spread across Dan's face and Nathan instinctively moved so that he broke Dans line of sight with her. Dan pushed past him anger echoed with each step that he took towards her.

"No Haley I want to congratulate you, you are smarter than I took you for."

"Dad leave her out of this! This is between you and me!"

This is not what he wanted and what he had always feared. He had always tried to keep Haley out of his dads reach for many reasons. She was the bright part of his life. In her innocence and purity she had taught him so much.

Dan would taint her, he would break her down and that scared Nathan. She wasn't as strong as him. She wasn't used to years of biting words. He had built a strong exterior and even at times that wasn't enough.

Haley didn't have that. She had been through tough times with her family but her walls were thin. She still kept her heart out on her sleeve and he admired that about her.

He loved that about her.

It floored him when they had first started dating that even though she had been hurt by some of the most important people in her life she still gave others the benefit of the doubt. She gave them a chance.

He was grateful for that because if Haley wasn't the way that she was she would have never been part of his life and without her grace Nathan couldn't even imagine where or who he would be.

Right now they had problems they were as far apart as they had ever been but he loved her and he knew that she loved him, he still had hope and that was good for now.

Dan was upon Haley faster than Nathan could react. The panic had risen in Nathan's legs and he had to shake it if he was to save Haley from this.

He was afraid that his Dad would be able to convince Haley that Nathan wasn't worth it. If even his own father didn't believe in him how could Haley possibly see anything more in him? Especially after all he had done to her in the past year.

But here they were face to face in the gym and Nathan could see the darkest part of his work collide with the brightest and he knew nothing good could come from it.

"You can tear me apart but you won't do that to Haley. She doesn't deserve it."

Nathan words reached Dan before he could fully come upon her. Dan looked back at his son throwing the same smirk that Haley had seen Nathan give many times. But it was definitely different, Dans smirk held nothing but contempt there was no softness in its edges.

"Oh No, Nathan please let me just personally thank Haley for destroying your life."

Haley stayed strong in her position locking her eyes with Nathan as he made his way towards her. She wanted to somehow assure him that she was okay, that what Dan said wouldn't change the feelings that she had for him. But there were no words and right now the best thing to do was to keep quiet anything she had to say would just make things worse.

Dan directed himself back at her, "You see when you called Nathan to come back to you he was well on his way to a great future."

Nathan came in between Haley and his father determined to have the sting of his words to hit him instead of her.

"But no his high school girlfriend, which you two probably wont last through the year," a slimy grin spread across Dans face as he looked between Haley and Nathan and the distance between them." Wait your not even together now. Is this quasi relationship somehow more important than something he has been working for his whole life. Am sure you will realize soon enough if not already Haley that Nathan without basketball cant give you anything, he wont be anything without it. So thank you for leading my son straight into a life of regret."

Nathan's arm was slung behind him trying to keep Haley protected from the prick of Dans sharp edged words.

She did her best to keep in step with Nathan because she knew that her just being there made the situation worse. She could feel the heat of Dans anger and frustration suck the air out of the room.

She could see the ripple of restraint break on Nathans arms. It was all about to explode and Haley didn't know what to do.

"Dad you dont know anything about us or even me so don't come here and pretend to care about where my life is going."

In the haze of battling words Haley reached out to Nathan in front of her. Her cool fingers connected with his hot skin and instantly she felt him react. He turned back to look at her and the look in his eyes was something she had never seen before but as soon as he focused on her she saw them soften.

Dan laughed and took a step back almost as if he was a bout to leave but then he took two large steps towards them puffing out his chest and gritting his teeth, " As soon as she realizes that Nathan she will leave you and then what will you have?"

Dans controlled demeanor cracked, "I have always been there for you Nathan, looking out for you and your best interest and when this is over you will realize that but I wont be there to pick up the pieces, not this time."

"Nathan lets go" her words were barely a whisper, only he could hear her but they didn't completely register until she locked his hand with hers and started to lead him away.

She could hear Dan making a last ditch effort to "clue in" Nathan but she ignored him. She didn't know how she could block him out but right now the most important thing was Nathan. She had to get him out of that room before it escalated to a point where there was no turning back. She was scared but not for herself but for him. The bottom was about to drop out and she was trying to keep him from falling.

Nathan could feel himself being led away and thank God for that because with each second that passed and each word that fell from Dans mouth Nathan could feel his control waning.

He had kept himself in check until the moment that Dan had said Haley's name. Until he ever so slightly laid his threats and blame. Her voice kept the moment real and brought him back from the insanity that he had begun to drown in.

They hadn't said a word the whole car ride over. He didn't need to explain because so much of what she didn't understand became so clear in those few minutes. Dan hated her just as much as he was disappointed in Nathan.

She knew that Dan was hard on him, that even though Nathan claimed to be tough and indifferent to what he said or did to him that too many years of put downs and ridicules had left a permanent mark on him. It had never been as visible as it was tonight.

Dan had been desperate and harsh with his words and Nathan had stood there trying his best to let it roll off of him. It had pained Haley to watch, she didn't know why she couldn't look away there was nothing she could do.

She had felt helpless but she just couldn't leave Nathan. She knew he would need her and she wanted to be there for him. She had never seen the actual breakdown of Dan's manipulation but she had often seen the aftermath.

Nathan had come to her after many such episodes. The first had been after he had collapses during the game. He had been so lost and he had opened a lot of himself to her that day.

During his parents separation and the tug of war that routinely placed him in between them he had showed up at her door.

He didn't need to say much and a part of her understood that Nathan wanted to detach himself from it. She was his safe place, an escape from the drama that plagued him in the confines of his home. She understood that because he had become that for her.

He had made her feel alive after so many years of just feeling numb. Where Nathan's parents fought over him her parents hardly paid any attention.

She was the last of the James clan and since she never caused trouble her parents never took the extra time. She was ten when her dad had been promoted to a job that took him away a lot and her mom had thought she was responsible enough to look out for herself. So many nights Haley was left to her own means. She missed them, spending time with them but she was pretty sure now that the emptiness that she had felt was no comparison to the drama that Nathan had lived his whole life.

Haley never lost contact with Nathan, she intertwined his fingers with hers guiding him up the dark stairs to her room. She opened her bedroom door softly and without turning the light on she set Nathan at the edge of her bed. Everything felt heavy around her. She knew that his mind was working overtime and she also knew Nathan well enough to know that when he was ready to talk he would.

Haley stepped away from him only to turn on the bedside lamp. She returned to stand before him unsure of what to do. It was so quiet the only sound was their in tune breathing.

Haley pushed lightly on his shoulders and Nathan looked up to meet her eyes. Her face was gentle and full of concern, he felt his heart constrict in his chest. Her small hands pulled at his jacket and instinctively he moved his body to help her disrobe him of it.

He couldn't take his eyes from her, she was his touchstone and truth. An angel in the darkness he had been born into. There wasn't any pity interlaced in her look, he had been afraid that she would look at him differently that Dans words would taint the way she saw him.

But the brown eyes that he depended upon to bring clarity and hope into his life were still full. Dan hadn't drained her of the grace she possessed. Nathan still knew that they had alot to talk about even more than they did yesterday. He knew that things between them couldn't change over night but he also knew that Haley wasn't cruel. She knew he needed her and right now even in the mess that was between them she was the only thing in his life that made sense.

Her hands brushed his hair and swept around his face, he closed his eyes leaning into her touch. She made him feel safe, his guard wasn't up, there wasn't any tension coating his skin, she broke through it all.

He opened his eyes when he felt her hands leave his face. She had stepped away from him, he reached out for her catching her wrist in his large hands gently pulling her back towards him.

"Don't leave me" wavered from his lips rippling the air between them. His want made her heart swell and fall at the same time.

"I wouldn't do that" Haley locked her hand with Nathan's and pulled him up off the bed with her and led him towards the adjoining bathroom.

She had meant it when she had told him that she wouldn't leave him, a part of her knew that she never could. He permanently had a part of her, in the beginning it had scared her to realize that so much of who she was becoming had to do with him.

But as she looked at him now, his eyes locked on her own, holding his hands in-between hers she knew that she wouldn't want it any other way. She knew what it was like to be with him and even in the hard parts of their relationship it was still better than those cold months without him.

He leaned against the bathroom counter and watched her. She stayed still before him the haze of the setting sun glaring through the window and casting a highlight against her hair that brought out her innocence and beauty. Her eyes swept over him assuring him of her presence, her hands rested at his sides, her fingers playing with the hem of his shirt.

He leaned into her, his head resting against her temple. She stood strong holding his weight and ever so slightly she pulled at his shirt, the outside of her hands grazing his chest as she pulled it up.

When his arms came back down she found herself placed inside of them. She rested her head against him and let her arms sweep around his waist.

It was a moment she had longed for but she wish it had been under different circumstances. She had wanted to be in his embrace for far too long but this was bittersweet. She had envisioned this moment being of happiness and passion but right now it was about comfort and healing.

She turned her head placing a chaste kiss upon his chest and walked towards the shower. She turned the knobs making sure it was almost too hot to touch just the way he liked it.

She could feel his eyes upon her but the vibration in the room was just a humm, it wasn't the same charge that their usual bathroom exploits consisted of. When the shower was ready she turned to look back at him . He had a slight smile upon his lips and she couldn't help but push up on to her toes to place a small kiss upon it.

"Do you remember where the towels are at?" Nathan nodded his head and swept his hand through her hair. Haley leaned into his hand almost letting herself fall into the moment.

"Ok a pair of your basketball shorts and a t-shirt of yours is in the bottom drawer you can change into those. Am just gonna go lay down."

Haley felt Nathan's arm snake around her waist and pull her back into his chest. His head nestled into her neck and for just a moment she let him hold her.

"Thank you Hales" She was just glad that Nathan couldn't see the tears that sat in her eyes.

Nathan placed his hands on the white tiles in front of him and felt the hot water roll down his back. He moved his head back and forth under the stream his body relaxing beneath it.

It had been an hour since the scene in the gym. But Dans words still echoed inside him. If Haley hadn't been there Nathan knew nothing would have kept him from going to blows with the old man.

It was coming to the point where Nathan couldn't be around his father. His pulse would start to click and his hands would make fists and it scared Nathan to know there was so much anger inside of him when it came to his father.

He just hated it that what Dan said or did could twist him in so many knots that he could hardly recognize himself.

When Dan pulled Haley into it Nathan only needed a few hard words from Dan and it would set him off. Haley was apart of a world that Nathan had worked hard at creating outside the web that his family was caught in.

Dan had shaken Nathan's faith before. It had been seven months ago, when his fathers words had turned his world upside down.

Nathan had come home to find his parents yelling a cross the island in the kitchen. His father's voice held a certain heaviness in it that Nathan could only identify as threatening. His mother's voice was that of desperation and Nathan couldn't handle the thought of his father once again tearing her down.

A part of Nathan knew that she had stayed with Dan for so many years because of him. A part of Nathan would always feel guilty about that. That's why Nathan would do anything he could to help her get away from him.

He can still remember his mothers face as he entered the kitchen. It was a look he had never seen on her before. It was fear and for the first time it was directed towards him.

Even now Nathan can't remember exactly how the scene had rolled out just his father's look of satisfaction. He found out that that day that his mother had abandoned him. Deb had pleaded with him for understanding and forgiveness but that summer Dan had torn him into a million pieces and sometimes Nathan was still not sure if he would ever be complete.

The sense of betrayal that he had felt had taken away his breath and all he could do was run.

Dan had found him at the River Court; he sat next to him at the picnic table placing his hand upon his back. His words had been silk and the confusion that was swirling in Nathan's head fell for the promises that Dan made. It had been a dark hour for Nathan. He had begun to question everything in his life.

"It's a hard reality isn't it son? Am sorry you had to find out that way but it was time you knew the truth. Your mother left us both…….. but I didn't leave you. I will always be there for you Nathan. People come and go out of your life, you will learn that. I wish I could protect you……You need to focus on what's important, on the future and I can give that to you. You have high fliers this summer and I know you didn't want to go but that's your future. What do you have here? I know that you are thinking of Haley but do you have any idea where you two will be in a year from now or maybe even a month. Nathan basketball is your ticket to getting anywhere and Haley she's a smart girl she can get into any school she wants too. It's not fair to hold her back and that's what you will be doing to her."

Nathan had gone to Haley's house that night and in the morning he left Tree Hill for good. He had thought it was the best thing at the time. His father had taken advantage of him in his weak state and at the time Nathan didn't even want to fight back.

Nathan stepped out of the shower and found a towel in the last drawer of the cabinet, something's didn't change.

He brought it up to his face and could smell Haley's light fragrance on it. It was amazing how it soothed him. He found his clothes; he had forgotten that Haley had a tendency to always leave his house with a sweatshirt or shirt of his with promises of returning it. It somehow comforted him that over the last few months she hadn't thrown them out.

He had to admit that the shower had been a good idea, he felt relaxed and he thought that maybe he could actually sleep.

When he opened the door, he found the room in darkness except for a lone candle on the night stand. The light cast a glow over the room and Haley lay illuminated. Her eyes were closed and her body looked small and fragile on the large bed.

Nathan walked towards the bed; she opened her eyes greeting him with a half smile. He reached for her outstretched hand and when his fingers interlaced with hers he felt himself being pulled on to the bed.

She pulled the covers over them so that they faced each other.

Her fingers made circles along his neck in rhythm to his breathing.

She could barely see him in the reflection of the light that the

candle provided but she didn't need to. She could feel the heaviness of his sadness, it was weighing him down and she physically hurt because she didn't know what she could do to make it better.

She felt his arm slide along her waist and bring her closer to him.

"I need you."

Haley felt the tears pool in her eyes, she had to take a deep breath to keep them from falling. She swept her hands across his eyes and kissed his eyelids. Nestling herself into his chest she turned her face up to his, "You have me…..you have me."


	10. You Dont Have To Be Afraid

A/N: Just reposting the same chapter because word really messed it up. I just wanted to fix it and make it easier to read. I hope this work. Thanks to Monica for telling me there was no break between the two storylines next time I will make sure to check it.

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'Hey I got your phone call, what's up?' Jake set his coat on the back of the wooden chair taking a seat across from Brooke.

Brooke looked up to meet Jake's eyes and felt the butterflies expand in her stomach.

It was funny she had come to this small bar hoping to run into the usual crowd that hung out here, the cheerleaders, the jocks, her people. After countless nights of the same songs, the never ending rounds of long islands ice-t's, it all was beginning to blur together and become old.

Brooke had to admit that after the Luke/Peyton fiasco that it had helped her to forget the betrayal because at the time she just wanted drown in her sorrow or at least get so wasted that she couldn't remember. But now she wanted something real, the fun and comfort in escaping had become everything but that.

Before she even realized what she was doing she had speed dialed Jake's number asking him to meet her she hadn't even paused to give him a chance to say no. He hardly went out she was sure he would thank her for the invite.

But now he seemed rushed and uncomfortable, the feeling of guilt and insecurity spread through her. She knew Jake cared for her; they had been friends for months now. When and how that happened she couldn't really pinpoint but when she spoke he listened and for some reason the wall that she put up seem to crumble when he was around.

She didn't know if she trusted him and that wasn't because Jake had given her reason not to. She had been hurt too many times by the only people that she had really opened herself up to so her trust wasn't something she could just give.

But she found herself wanting to take a chance on Jake, every time she was around him she found herself smiling and laughing. She started to feel alive  
again and tonight when she was surrounded by boys who bought her drinks and checked her out unabashedly she felt fake. The smile that was on her lips was a hard to keep on and if any of them really looked at care.

So now with Jake sitting in front of her she found that she couldn't help but smile, it was almost surreal to her.

'Do you want something to drink?', Brooke felt silly as she heard her own voice float out in a flirty tone. It was who she was, how she pulled boys but now instead of it sounding sexy it just sounded well silly.

The way Jake was looking at her now with one eyebrow raised it was safe to assume that he heard it too. He had never been at the receiving end of her flirty ways.

'Wish I could Brooke but I left Jenny with Karen and I have to pick her up later.'

'Oh well do you want to dance' She couldn't stop herself. THIS WAS JAKE, he would see right through this.

Jake chuckled, 'Brooke have you ever seen me dance?'

'No I haven't which is why I asked' Brooke tried to clear the breathiness that her voice held but too many years of flirting was hard to shake.

'You haven't because am awful at it'

He was blushing; his cheeks were turning a bright red which only highlighted the red in his hair. Trying to hide her amusement Brooke looked around her coming back to Jake when she felt his hand upon hers.

'Hey am sorry I guess this isn't my scene'

Did he feel it, the tingle his touch raised in her, did she actually feel it or was she making something out of nothing. Her mind was racing and she couldn't calm down.

'Maybe this wasn't a good idea and I should just go'

Brooke felt the panic rise in her legs, the way he was looking at her made her feel as if he was waiting for her to stop him. She knew if she did that things between them would change.

All of a sudden the music and laughter of the usual crowd swam over her engulfing her in the familiar.

This scene was her scene she knew the jokes, the pick-up lines, she owned it, she could control it. Looking up into Jakes awaiting eyes she knew that she would lose control that how he would react, what she would say or how their relationship grew from here was something that she couldn't predict, preplan or pre-funk to but instead of scaring her she felt an excitement that she hadn't felt in a long time.

She wanted this, she wanted to see if what was between them and there was no denying that there was something could be something well more.

'You know what this isn't my scene either'

'Now Brooke Davis don't lie to me to spare my feelings if you want to  
stay that's cool'

Standing up and grabbing her purse from the side of the chair, she took a deep  
breath and stepped towards Jake linking her arms with his, 'I wanna be with you'

A crooked smile played on his face and for the first time that she could remember Brooke Davis blushed.

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She felt his hand slide up under her breast massaging the skin lulling her out of her deep sleep. She had almost forgotten about his two am tendencies. He was always half asleep but his body would reach for her.

It thrilled her that his subconscious knew she was there and would look for her. Countless times when he would spend the night he would whisper her name in his sleep and something deep inside her would spark.

His hand slid around her back pulling her underneath him, Haley opened her eyes meeting his.

It surprised her.

She felt herself jump under his hands. In a split second something had changed, this was different from their usual night explorations. For one he was fully awake and the way he was looking at her sent a shiver through her body.

His head dipped down between the crook of her neck and Haley couldn't help but purr under his hot kisses. His hands skimmed down her sides to the rim of her shorts teasing her skin, his touch setting her on fire.

Haley's hands bit along and up under Nathan's shirt pulling it up as her hands found the broadness of his shoulder blades. She found the familiar grooves that her hands had memorized months before.

Her body arched so that her legs hooked his waist pulling him close to her, she wanted to make contact with every part of him. His breath along her neck caused a ripple of pleasure to blanket her skin.

God she missed him, her body ached for his touch, it had been to long and even though things between them were shaky there was no denying that their bodies were made for only each other.

Nathan moved to rest on his forearms hovering above Haley and it took everything within her not to cry out. She bit her lip as she watched him pull his shirt over his head.

He looked down at her placing his hands at the hem of her shirt. He was waiting for permission and just before Haley could completely drown in the haze of lust and want that was quickly taking her over a cold splash of reality hit her.

Nathan knew this wouldn't fix anything between them. Sex had never been  
something they just did, it had always been making love and as Nathan looked down at her she realized he was asking for more than just great sex or complicated lust or want, he wanted all of her.

Haley reached up to Nathan bringing his head down so that it rested against her own. 'I love you Nathan'

Without looking at her he asked her ' Are you in love with me, even after everything that has happened?'

'Always have been, always will be' her heart expanded as she felt a tear slide from his cheek onto hers.

They laid there for a moment her legs wrapped around his waist, his arms encircling her body and their hearts beating so loud that it made the room vibrate.

'But this wont fix anything'

Haley didn't have the answers, she brushed her hands along his face and settled it on the back of his head adding a little pressure to align her lips with his slipping them into heaven if just for a little while.  
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Haley woke up when she felt the mattress shift underneath her. Nathan's arm slid along her naked waist and off of her and she instantly felt cold.

She turned around to face him her eyes focusing on his back as he lifted himself up from the bed. He stood there for a moment and Haley drank in his naked form. The moonlight casted a shadow along his torso making him a God and for a moment she couldn't breathe.

He slid on his shorts and went to stand by the window.

She propped herself up on her knees gathering the sheet around her body. She watched him place his head in his hands and his shoulders fall. He was closing himself off again.

' I don't regret it

Nathan turned to look at Haley; her hair was in waves around her face, and the white sheet enveloped her small form making her angelic and innocent and completely beautiful.

He stepped towards the bed and watched as she scooted to the edge of it meeting him half way.

His fingers slid along her smooth cheek, 'I don't either'

Her eyes followed her hands as they skimmed along his strong arm finally latching on to him and pulling him down to sit on the beds edge beside her.

'Don't shut me out Nathan'

'Am not Haley' but even he didn't believe his own words.

'But you are baby, here we make love and you give of yourself in so many ways...but you always leave apart of yourself closed off. How can we expect this to work-'

'I don't want to Haley, I trust you above anyone else but something inside me won't let me.'

Frustrated Nathan broke away from Haley's embrace taking his place in  
front of the window again. He looked out over the sleeping town and he  
envied the peace that it held.

Here he was with his beautiful girlfriend in a house void of parents and he couldn't just let things be.

He had been sleeping peacefully his arms wrapped around the only person that he had ever truly loved but he couldn't shake the feeling of fear he felt swimming in him. He had nuzzled his face into her hair trying to drown in her warmth but then his mind started to remember all the times he had seen her cry because  
of him, how hurt she had been because of him.

Being with her tonight had been magical and he felt complete but it had lasted only a little while. He loved her but he had a lot of things to figure out and he just didn't know how to do it, where to start but knowing she was there supporting him and loving him made him feel that as if one day he would be able to be enough for her. He needed her to understand that.

'I think apart of me believes that I will hurt you that my demons will bring you down with me and it will kill me if that happens. I won't let that happen and what happened with my dad was something that I had promised myself that I would never let you see. I won't let him hurt you or bring you down like he has me.'

Haley was shocked for a moment at his admission. She knotted the sheet  
to keep it still on her body and got up from the bed to stand before Nathan.

'Look at me Nathan... really look at me Baby because I want you to hear this.'

Nathan took a deep breath finally taking his eyes from her small hands  
on his arms and meeting her eyes.

'Dan hasn't brought me down, his words have no power over me and more  
importantly, anything he says about you to me will not affect the way I feel for you. What I've learned is that he doesn't know you and he certainly doesn't know anything about us, so believe me and trust us.'

Nathan offered a small smile, 'I cant promise you that I can do that tomorrow there are a lot off things that I have to deal with maybe even by myself in order for me to get to that point, but.. I do want to get to that point.'

He placed his large hand on the side of her face his fingers getting lost in hair, she leaned into him placing a small kiss on his wrist, he pulled her towards him and just before his lips came to meet hers she pulled away just so that he could see the love in her eyes, 'I will be here with you Nathan, you have my love and that's not going anywhere.'

He nodded his head before he pulled at the knot that held her sheet dress together; she caught it before it fell from her body. She slapped at his arm as she tried to hide the blush that spread all over her body.

He leaned into kiss her again but only kissed her hair instead as she walked away from him and towards the bed. She turned to face him, letting the sheet fall just a little off her shoulders giving him a peek at the skin above her breasts. He stepped towards her trying to hide his smile Haley was sexy when she was trying to be the seductress it always amused him that she really had no idea how irresistible she was.

Haley giggled as she watched Nathan slide off his boxers in one fast move. Nathan heard himself laugh as she saw Haley's face turn to shock as she watched him barrel towards her but she caught him by surprise when she opened up the sheet to welcome him in.

They fell onto the bed and Haley wrapped the sheet around the both of them as they shifted on the bed her giggle echoing in the room as she felt Nathans laughter along her chest.

She looked out the window catching the moons face looking back at them and she wished that it could always be like this.


	11. Coals are hot to walk across

A/N: A quick update .. the next one should be out in a few days.. thanks for sticking with the story guys.

Chapter 11

Nathan pulled his sweatshirt tight around his body as he struggled to find the keys in his pocket. The frost of the morning bit at his shoulders but nothing could make him feel cold.

A lazy grin spread across his face as he let himself think back to the pretty girl that had been snuggled up to his side only moments before. Nathan swore that he could still feel the weight of Haley's warmth against his body.

It had been hard to leave her arms but when Haley's alarm had gone off at precisely 7:30am she had practically shoved him off the bed. She had pulled the blankets from him at the realization that she was running late.

Haley James was never late to school.

She was a graceful mess with curls and sheets twirling together as she tried to make her way to the bathroom. Nathan had gotten up reluctantly determined to coax Haley back to bed and when she finally settled her eyes upon him the most beautiful color of pink exploded onto her cheeks. He loved catching her off guard and his naked form always seemed to do the trick.

Her eyes had searched the room as if her parents or sisters would come out from behind the dresser but when she focused back on him he already had his arms around her waist. He could feel her getting lost in the sensation of his lips on her neck and started to guide her back to the bed but then the alarm went off again and she pushed him away.

He laid back on the bed and started laughing when his jeans and shirt landed next to him. Yup he wouldn't be getting lucky. Instead she had yelled from the behind the bathroom door that he better not be late, only peeking out her head to give him a quick kiss goodbye.

Nathan heard the key turn and popped open the door, sliding off his shoes at the entrance and almost fell backwards when Luke called out to him.

'Man you almost gave me a heart attack you shouldn't sneak up on people' Nathan put his hand to his chest at the same time sending his brother a sideways smirk.

Luke set down the cereal box along with two bowls 'You're the one sneaking in here but you don't see me getting all jumpy, so who's the pansy?'

'Did you just say pansy?' The constant smile that graced Nathan's lips didn't go unnoticed, as well as the avoidance of the particular subject of Nathan's whereabouts the night before.

'Dude don't just stand there and make fun of me. You have just enough time to get ready and eat something before you are late to school.'

Luke watched Nathan's retreating back as he made his way down the hallway. Luke forced himself to let go of the worry that ebbed at him. His brother obviously was in better spirits and Luke had no doubt that it had everything to do with Haley. It's what he had wanted for them.

He could admit that when Haley and Nathan had first started dating he had been reluctant to give his blessing. Nathan was his evil half-brother and Haley was his best friend and to him that meant that it would only end badly. But over the year that they had dated Luke began to feel differently especially with the changes that he could see in both of them. Nathan became a good guy and Haley fully blossomed from the shadow that she had lived in.

It had still had ended badly but the truth was it never really ended.

Their month's apart provided proof of that. Nathan's brief phone calls had always been made in an effort to pull information on Haley from him. Haley had retreated into herself becoming a fragment of who she was.

That's why when Nathan had showed up on his doorstep Luke promised himself that he would do whatever he could to see the two most important people in his life get back together. But now the sense of relief that he thought he would feel was overshadowed by a constant pulse of worry.

Nathan hadn't been back that long and the last time that Luke had seen Haley she had been a ball of confusion and hurt.

Luke didn't want to feel this way; he didn't want to be the voice of reason especially since his own love life was all over the place but he couldn't help but worry it was a vital part of who he was.

The fact of the matter was that Nathan hadn't been back that long, Dan was back in town and Nathan still hadn't even gone to see his mother. He was avoiding things and maybe Nathan couldn't see it, maybe he refused to but if he kept living this way it was going to blow up.

Nathan wasn't running away this time and Luke was beginning to see that he was running head first into Haley. If this was the way that Nathan wanted to get his life back, it wouldn't work and Luke wouldn't stand by and watch him bring Haley down with him.

Nathan's voice boomed down the hallway knocking Luke out of his thoughts ' Look Man it looks like am going to barely make it so go on ahead without me.'

'Ok, hey' Luke placed his bowl in the sink and headed for the door. 'My mom wants you to stop by the café after school.'

'What for?'

'I don't know ……..look see you at school and if you would stop looking in the mirror you might make it in time.' Luke let out a strained laugh; the worry was to strong right now. He knew he needed to talk to Nathan to try and help him but it would have to wait till after school. They had more than just basketball in common they were both also good at avoidance.

Luke slammed the door behind him glancing down at his watch and for once wishing for time to stand still.

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Haley glanced at the clock above the door for the millionth time but time seemed to be mocking her. She swore it hadn't moved a beat since she last looked and that was well impossible.

She turned a few pages in her math book but finally gave into the fact that studying just wasn't going to happen. She hadn't seen Nathan at all today, ok so it was only second period but she couldn't help but feel a bit anxious.

This morning had felt right, it had felt like old times waking up in his arms., the alarm startling her, practically pushing him out of bed, him teasing her and always trying to get a little nookie before school even though that never happened.

She had a giddiness course through her that she hadn't felt in forever but the passing hours since that morning had also brought a restlessness. They both knew that things hadn't been exactly resolved. They were at a weird place, sure it felt good but they couldn't stay there forever. But a part of Haley wanted to, she wanted to just skip all the drama and discussions that they would have to have.

If only it was that easy.

She pushed some of her hair in front of her face letting her eyes close for just a moment trying to get back all of the feelings from the night before. She needed to hold on to them because the logical part of herself was starting to creep out. She just needed to see Nathan. She needed to see him so he could kiss the worry out of her. The thought made a smile creep onto her lips.

'Haley James what are you smiling about?' Peyton dropped her book bag onto the table plopping herself in the chair in front of Haley.

Haley sent Peyton a sideways smile. 'Now Haley don't be shy I know that your happy to see me but I have feeling am not the one causing you to blush and smile all at the same time.'

Haley looked down at her hands before responding to Peyton. It was something about Peyton that made Haley feel comfortable about telling her anything. It still surprised Haley because for the longest time Luke had been her confidant in all aspects of her life. She was grateful for having Peyton as a trusted friend because sadly Haley couldn't turn to Luke for everything anymore.

'Nathan came over last night' Haley didn't know why but she expected to see a look of judgment cross Peyton's face. Haley was once again assured of Peyton's trust when she found that her friend was just listening and that helped Haley continue.

'He ran into his dad and I was there. As you can imagine things didn't go well so I got him out of there. He came back to my place and we talked and it almost felt like old times.'

'Why do I feel a but in there?' Haley sighed, sometimes Peyton knew her to well.

'Because even after all we have been through he still closes himself off from me. I have to constantly reaffirm my feelings for him. Even then I don't know if he really believes me.' Haley pushed her back into the chair shoving her feet onto the seat next to her.

'I know he s been through a lot with his parents, his dad especially. Yesterday was my first real glimpse into that but he tries to protect me from that but that's part of who he is and if he continues to do that he's just going to shut me out.' Haley let out a deep sigh as she let her head fall into her hands.

Peyton tried to hide the glaze of tears that swam in her eyes because she understood more than Haley could ever know.

Peyton recognized a part of herself in the way that Haley described Nathan. She didn't know if it was because they both shared complicated relationships with their parents or because they had both just been cursed with hearts that would never fully open.

But for the first time Peyton could see how this safety mechanism built inside of her made the other person feel. She knew that she turned herself off when things with Lucas got too real.

It wasn't because she wanted to shut him out or that she didn't want him to be a part of her life, most days he was the best part of it.

She was just so unsure of herself, of her direction in life, she was still trying to deal with her mother's death. She often questioned whether or not it was worth letting someone in if only to lose them. She had lost Brooke, yes that been her own fault, but Luke, he was a different story all together letting him in with the possibility of screwing it up and losing him all together wasn't something she could handle.

She knew that Luke would put himself completely into making what they wanted work just like Haley was doing for Nathan. The only difference was Nathan wanted to do that for Haley too he just wasn't sure how.

Peyton, well she wasn't sure if she wanted to let Luke in, she wasn't sure if she could put a hundred percent into the relationship. It wasn't because she didn't believe that they could be great. It was because she wasn't sure if she was even whole anymore.

A lot had happened in her life, she had been shattered a few times and she never got the pieces back.

'Nathan is lucky to have you and I know he knows that ... he just may not know how to show it.' Peyton reached out and squeezed Haley's shoulder.

'I know your right I guess I just want to make everything ok and it's hard when I cant, when he won't let me.'

Peyton cleared the lump in her throat; she had gotten good at hiding, 'Haley James ever the perfectionist… I wish I could help you, I do really but the only person that can do that is Nathan himself.'

'I know … why isn't it easier than this, isn't it supposed to be easier?' Haley glanced at the clock for the millionth time, it had only moved by five minutes, now she knew it was mocking her.

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Brooke debated if she should take her math book home. The homework wasn't due till Friday so it wasn't even like she would start it. Closing her locker door she was surprised to see Jake on the other side of it.

She instinctively shoved her hand at his chest, 'Hi to you too' he laughed catching her hand letting her small hand slide inside of his for a split second before she pulled it back.

'Hi yourself' letting a small smile grace her lips as she linked arms with Jake pulling him down the hallway.

'So I was wondering what you were doing tonight?'

'Why Mr.Jalegeski are you asking me out?' Brooke feigned surprise. Things with Jake the other night had been close to perfect and she hadn't even gotten a goodnight kiss.

They had spent the night talking and laughing. It was easy and relaxed. Jake brought out a person inside of her that she didn't even know was there.

She felt like what she said was important and that he was genuinely interested. He even laughed at all of her jokes and when she fell into a flirty mode that had been a part of her practiced persona for so long, he saw right through it.

Things with him were unpredictable, she had leaned into him for a kiss at the end of the night closing her eyes almost sure that the male part of him would devour her. She had been a little more than surprised when she opened her eyes at the sensation of his lips on her cheek.

He was different from other boys. He knew who he was and what he wanted. It thrilled her to no end.

He challenged her but in a good way. He challenged her to want more for herself, to expect appreciation and admiration.

She had pushed that idea out her head along time ago but now that they were in front of her, in a good looking guy she didn't want anything else.

'If you say yes then I guess I am?' she swore his eyes were twinkling.

Brooke climbed into the driver's seat of her car, 'Well it is a school night and I have tons of homework-'

'We could study together, books and pizza sound ok?'

A big house snuggled into the couch reciting poetry to each other, Brooke could see it now. 'I will be there at 7pm!'

She winked at him before she put the car into drive and pulled out of the parking lot. She took a quick glimpse in the rear view mirror to see Jake still standing there looking at her as she drove off. Jake was in trouble...well if Brooke had anything to say about it.

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Peyton threw her bag into the back seat of her car. She had almost had the key in the ignition when she heard his voice.

'Peyton I have been looking all over for you.'

She smiled up at him but she knew that he could see it was as fake as her blond hair.

'I just want to talk Peyton, I feel like your pulling away from me.' The look on his face tore at her heart. She didn't know why she was determined to make everything hard for them.

The talk with Haley earlier in the day had done a number on her and she just needed sometime to think.

'We will talk----' She just couldn't concentrate on him. She had already checked out of the conversation and he knew it. She could see the hurt seep into his face and she felt really bad about doing that to him, she did really.

'When?' He reached out to touch her shoulder and the feel of it made her body relax. He was the only person that could do this to her, make her realize the battle that waged inside of her, between her head and heart.

She wanted to open her heart to him it cried within her to just let him, to take the risk but her head was on instant guard.

'Come over tonight... I really have to go I have a strip due' This time the look on her face showed true regret with just a touch of his hand he was able to break her façade. If she stayed here any longer he would have in tears and she just wasn't ready for that.

'Ok tonight' but the words just fell into the hum of Peyton's car leaving the parking lot.

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'I tried to save you a seat in class but Mr. Ruffo decided that we should all sit alphabetically' Haley pouted as Nathan leaned down to place a small kiss on her small lips.

'That's ok baby, I got to stare at your hair from the back of the class… it reminded me how soft it felt against my chest this morning.' Nathan dropped the last part of the sentence to a slow whisper that made her slightly tremble. She tried to hide the blush that pinked her cheeks before Luke , Tim and Jake made it over to them.

'Do you want a ride to the Café?' Nathan's hand brushed through her hair and Haley closed her eyes getting lost in the sensation.

'I would love one.'

'I am so happy to see you guys finally back together. Haley was cranky while you were gone. I didn't like her too much.' Tim knew he had once again said the wrong thing as the words fell flat around him. Could no one joke around anymore or maybe it was just too soon.

Haley stepped out of Nathan's arms as reality once again smacked her upside her head. Nathan and her were not back together. She couldn't fault Tim for saying what he did because she had to admit that her and Nathan were acting like a couple.

The couple they used to be but the fact of the matter was that they weren't that couple anymore. They had a lot to deal with still, it was a hard road and there was no flying over it.

'I am going to be late for work.' It was obvious to Nathan the shift in Haley's attitude. He knew that the bliss he was feeling couldn't sugar coat everything.

He nodded to the guys as he headed for the drivers seat. Once inside he reached for Haley's hand, she smiled at him and then looked out the window.

It was a quiet ride to the Café, Nathan started to feel Haley pulling away from him and he couldn't help but feel a little panicked.

'Thanks for the ride Nathan.' Haley kicked open the truck door with her foot. She tried to pull her hand from Nathan's but when he wouldn't let go she looked up at him.

'We should talk.' He lifted her hand to his lips and the soft contact made her pulse quicken. She didn't think before she found herself climbing back into the cab of the truck pulling Nathan's head down so his lips pushed onto hers. His hand slid around her waist pulling her almost on top of him.

'I will come over tonight……… I have to go…..go home first but I will call you when am on my way.' Haley tried to get the words out as Nathan tried to silence her with his lips. Haley pulled away and then she leaned back in pecking his lips before she jumped out of the cab of the truck. Closing the door with her hips and sent him a shy smile before she ran into the café.

Nathan sat there for a moment reeling from the emotion that Haley awoke in him.

He was about to pull away when he remembered that Karen wanted to see him. He knew it probably had to do with him not coming home last night and he felt truly bad about that. He knew that Karen had opened her home to him and she didn't deserve that. He would smooth it over but he wouldn't be going into the café. Sure Haley was in there but so was his mother and right now he just didn't know if he was ready to face her.

He didn't know when he would be.

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Lydia couldn't hide the look of surprise that flashed on her face; the appearance of Dan Scott on your doorstep could do that to a person.

She had briefly heard Haley and Nathan discuss his father a few times but she had never really paid particular attention. They were teenagers; they were supposed to complain about their parents.

Besides Nathan was a boy, Lydia remembered how much trouble Geoff had been in his teenage years. He had come home at all hours of the night, he had been caught drinking and more than a few times the police had been called out to the house because of arguments that had woken the whole neighborhood.

Geoff had been the direct cause of some of the grey hairs that graced Lydia's temple but he was out of the house and wrapped up in his own life now .He had also recently started to come around letting her and Jimmy back into his life. Some kids were just harder than others for no reason at all. So with that in mind Lydia welcomed Dan into her house.

'Mr. Scott-'

'Please call me Dan'

Lydia nodded her head, 'Dan I can't say that I was expecting you. Are kids have been dating for a few months and this is the first time I have seen you face to face.' Lydia directed Dan to take a seat on the couch.

'I am sorry to say that's true. I should have made the effort but with the dealership and trying to make money for the basketball team, this is really the first chance that I have had.' Dan unbuttoned his suit jacket making sure to flash his cuff links, watch and wedding ring, he was sure the sum of his jewelry was more than what Lydia made in a year.

'Am sorry I didn't mean for that to come out so rude, sometimes my mouth runs off before I get a chance to think about it. Jimmy and I haven't had a chance as well; we've been traveling trying to keep tabs on the kids. It can take it right out of you especially when they spread out all over the country.'

Dan refused the ice-t that Lydia offered him. He wasn't here to make friends this visit had a purpose and as far as he was concerned pleasantries had already gone on to long.

'Is Jimmy home?' Dan took a quick look around taking in the small living room. It was easy to see where Haley got her unique style.

'No he won't be back to till this afternoon. Is there something we can help you with?' Lydia's face had turned from the model poster child for the welcoming committee to a face of confusion and worry. He had her where he wanted her.

It was a blessing or a twist of fate on his side that Jimmy wasn't home. It might have been harder to play both people after all Haley was smarter than he had bargained for she had to get it from one of them.

'I've actually come to talk to you about Haley and Nathan…. Where their relationship is going...'

Lydia set down her cup, the visible mother hen tendencies seeping into her facial features. She was like puddy in his hands.

'Is there something that I don't know and should be concerned about?'

'As you know Haley was tutoring Nathan that's how they met. She has been a great influence on him.' Dan tried to hide the laughter that wanted to drip into his voice.

'I greatly appreciate what she has done for him. But it's no secret that Nathan is a trouble kid. It's hard for me to admit that as a father.' Dan took a deep breath for emphasis only continuing when Lydia nodded her head in understanding.

'I've tried to be there every step of the way, hoping that basketball and Haley would pull him out this darkness that he seems to be drowning in.'

Lydia came to sit down next to Dan on the couch placing her hand on his, 'I understand, my son Geoff was like Nathan, intent on destroying his life and there was nothing Jimmy or I could do about it.'

Dan looked away from her eyes, 'How did you deal with it? You can't watch your kids at all times…..' Dan placed his forehead into his hands, 'and the drugs-'

Dan saw Lydia flinch at the statement, she hadn't known about the drugs. '--The drugs?'

'Yes you didn't know… I thought Haley would have told you…'

'Haley never said anything.'

'It's been more than a year since it's been that bad but it was the reason I moved Nathan out of town. I wanted him to get away from it but then he ran away….'

'….ran away?' Lydia got up to stand by the bay window her back to Dan's smiling face, he couldn't help it. How much did Haley's parents know of Nathan and Haley's relationship?

He felt he could tell her anything and she would believe it.

'Yes that's why am here. I care for Haley almost as if she was my own daughter…' Dan had to clear his throat to keep from chocking on his words. 'Nathan is in a bad place and I don't want to see Haley get hurt. I just think it's for the best that Haley and Nathan no longer see each other.'

Lydia turned to face Dan, 'I think you are right and I appreciate your regard for my daughter. I wont pretend to know what your going through but if you need help or someone to talk to Jimmy and I would be more than willing to help.'

Dan took her hands in his casting his eyes downward and then back up to her trying to convey the sincerest look he could muster.

'You've already helped so much….. more than you know. I am just worried about Haley I know she will take this hard.'

'You already have your son to worry about. I will explain it to Haley. She will do what's best for Nathan.' Lydia opened her front door to let Dan out. 'Thank you for coming once again.'

Dan nodded his head before turning around and heading back out to his car.

No thank you Mrs. James... thank you.


	12. What is Going Wrong

'If you would stop calling me, I would be there already.' Haley laughed as she tried to stuff her books into her backpack. She knew they probably wouldn't even be cracked open, but it was the thought that counted right? Right!

'This is the first time I called and you got off work almost an hour ago you should be here already!' she swore she could hear a bit of a pout in Nathan's voice.

She took a quick look in the mirror, her hair was still a little wet from the quick shower she took and her lips had a hint of lip gloss on them. Her vanity table was full of make-up and jewelry but Nathan had seen her without make-up and girly adornment and he still loved her. The thought of the way his eyes filled with lust as he looked at her made Haley giggle.

Honestly she didn't want to take anymore time to get ready she desperately wanted to see him too.

'I am heading down the stairs now and I should be there in five minutes ok.' Haley grabbed her coat trying to put it on without losing the phone that kept sliding little by little away from her ear. She yelped when her hair got caught in the strap of her bag almost completely losing the phone in the process. She felt her blood rush through at the frustration of not being able to do a million things at once.

Working at the cafe this afternoon had been torture. She had kept getting distracted by the thoughts of Nathan, his hands, his lips, the way his skin felt under her. Karen had to pinch her a few times to awaken her from her day dreaming. She really couldn't help it and she didn't want to.

Real life was too demanding and hard. She would have to deal with that soon enough anyways. It wasn't like she was completely ignoring it, she knew it was there. She was mature enough to admit that but she didn't want to be depressed. She had had too many nights crying under her covers wishing that Nathan would come back. Now that he was she was going to enjoy it for at least a little while.

'If I am not there in five minutes you can send out the Calvary ok. Am on my way see you-'she turned off the phone quickly laughing at the thought of his face as he realized that she had hung up on him.

'Haley' She had almost made it out the door. Haley took her hand off the door knob with a sigh of frustration and turned towards where her mother's voice came from.

'I was just heading out-' Haley felt herself pause at the sight of her parents in the living room. They had looks on their faces that could only be described as ones that they had when they called Taylor of Geoff in for a 'talk'.

Haley set down her bag and coat, and took a seat on the part of the couch that her mother pointed to. She tried to run through her mind what possibly she could have done.

She hadn't gotten in trouble at school, she had completed the errands that her mother had left for her on the fridge, running her hand through her hair Haley couldn't think of anything.

It wasn't like they were around enough to notice what she did. The majority of their conversations were done through voicemails, emails and random notes left in the house. Haley knew her parents were busy people; they had work and were constantly traveling, they had their own lives. Haley didn't mind she really didn't know any different. She had become accustomed to them being there a week or two out of the month. They trusted her to take care of things and Haley had never abused the privilege.

'Is something wrong?' She couldn't keep the confusion she was feeling from seeping into her voice.

Jimmy took a seat on the couch facing Haley and looked up at Lydia who stood next to him before answering his youngest daughter.

'Well we just wanted to see where you were off to in such a hurry'

Haley could see it was something more, she had seen this scene played out with her siblings enough to know that they were just building up to the real reason they had called her in. For now she would just play along.

'I was on my way to Luke's, Nathan is there.' Haley didn't fail to notice the knowing looks that passed between her parents. 'Nathan is there and he needed some help in history.'

'We had heard that Nathan was back in town.' Haley looked up at her mother it was almost surreal to her the way her mother spoke to her. Her voice was layered in judgment. Haley didn't know whether to laugh or to ask them if they had accidentally called in the wrong child.

'You have? Is this why you called me in here?'

'Yes we know that you have been pretty upset since Nathan left…….. But we also know why he left.'

Haley couldn't hide the surprise that crossed her face. Here she had been distraught for months over the fact that Nathan had left, running over in her mind the various reasons that could have possibly taken him away from her. He had given her none and even to this day his reasoning was vague but somehow her parents who had barely even registered the fact that he was gone until a month or two ago knew the very reason that alluded her.

'What how could you?"

Her mother shook her head at Haley and placed a hand on Jimmy's shoulder in front of her.

'Hunnie were just saying that he had a good reason so maybe-'

'How could you know his reasoning, I don't even know if I understand it?' The rise in Haley voice caused Jimmy to stand and Haley felt as if she was being surrounded.

'Haley there's no reason to get upset.'

'Well I guess am just frustrated because I don't get the point of this conversation. Nathan's back am happier and we are going to try and work things out.' Why was she explaining herself it wasn't like they had ever taken any interest in her life before?

Lydia came and sat down next to Haley placing her hands on Haley's arm. 'That's the thing; you should give Nathan time to adjust.' Haley moved to take her arm from under Lydia's grasp but it she just pulled her back. 'What are you saying?'

Lydia looked over at Jimmy and then back to Haley, 'Your father and I think its best if you didn't see Nathan for awhile.'

Haley was too fast to stop Lydia this time from holding her still. Jumping to her feet she faced her parents, 'Why would you even think that? You don't know what he's been through or how Nathan and I are handling it.'

Lydia's voice came out stern and demanding and for a moment Haley felt scared. She had never seen this part of her mother and even though she was angry at her for the way she was now trying to dictate her life a part of felt bad for making her mother react this way to her.

It was always Taylor or Geoff who would yell and scream at them and a long time ago Haley had promised herself that she would never put her parents through that. 'Haley we know more than you think. We know about the drugs-'

'Drugs-' this couldn't be happening Haley felt herself spiraling.

Lydia moved to reach out to her daughter but Haley stepped back towards the window. Lydia sighed and brought her arm back down to her side. 'Haley we know that he's run away from home.'

'He did not runaway!' Haley felt like she was on fire, her anger was pulsing in her chest, 'Where are you getting your information?'

Jimmy looked over at Lydia who mirrored Haley in so many ways. The way they stood, the way they tried to hide their anger and frustration by rubbing their hands together and the way they protected the people they loved, they were carbon copies of each other.

Haley watched as her father stepped past her mother hiding part of her frame with his body, he reached out to her and subconsciously Haley felt herself lean into him. She had always been closer to father. He always had this strong calm demeanor within him that just made Haley feel a little safer in his arms. Even the anger and aggravation that was coursing through her seem to settle for a moment.

'Haley please don't get upset, Nathan's father stopped by'

Haley couldn't hide the shock that enveloped her or the laugh that rang in her voice. 'Dan, as in Dan Nathan's father, you have got to be kidding me? This is low even for Dan.'

Lydia pushed passed Jimmy and stood face to face with her daughter an obvious expression of disappointment on her face.

'Haley he came over as a concerned parent.'

But Haley would hear none of it. She waved her hand at her mother trying to erase the words as they left her mouth.

'Concerned parent you don't know the hell he's put Nathan through.' Haley didn't know why but she felt a rise of tears come to the surface of her eyes, 'If you wanted to know you could have asked me. I know more about Nathan than anyone but you don't ask me because you never cared too know what was going on in my life because I was a never priority in yours'

The words came out in sobs as her parents realized that they had nothing to refute her claim. Haley had always been strong and never complained about the various work assignments or travel plans that her parents had put before her. They had been able to rationalize their reasoning because their effects had always been well hidden, but the tears in Haley's eyes for the first time made them realize that they may have been wrong.

Lydia cleared the lump that had formed in her throat as she watched her daughter always so strong and capable turn into the child that Lydia had forgotten she was.

'Haley we know that. When Dan came over it helped us realize that we don't know about your life. We are afraid that the consequences of that are you being sucked into a life that will only destroy you.' Before Haley could respond Lydia went on, 'Remember how awful it was for the family when Taylor and Geoff put us through such a situation.'

'You can't compare me to Taylor or Geoff; they did some awful things, things that you know I would never do.'

'But Haley there were signs before it got to that point that your father and I missed. That we didn't pay enough attention to.'

Haley looked at her parents for the first time in a long time. She stripped them of their wisdom and care that she had always bestowed upon them. She had always forgiven their faults because she believed that they were doing the best that they could. She wanted to believe in them and their love for her. She wanted so much from them and now she had come to the conclusion that they would never be able to give her that.

It pained her to realize that they didn't know her at all but it hurt even more to know that somewhere inside of her had always known that to be true.

'So you think the reason am dating Nathan is to make you pay attention to me. That our relationship is my way of crying for help.'

'Haley'

'Then I guess you know even less about me then I thought you did. Because if you did you would know that I gave up on you two a long time ago. I don't want to screw my life over like Geoff or Taylor who only years later are somewhat getting their lives back on track. I don't want that for my self so Nathan- our relationship is more to me than what you give it credit. But that doesn't surprise me because you don't know me. He knows me, he noticed me when you to didn't care to. So, yes he's made mistakes but he's trying to set things right and that's more than I can say for you. He needs me and I will be there for him because he is there for me now.'

Haley could feel the tension swirl between her and her parent's forms but for some reason she had never felt so free. She hadn't realized that those words had been a weight on her heart. She felt proud of herself for actually being strong enough to say the words she hadn't been able to say before.

Her parents just stood there as Haley reached for her bag sliding it over her shoulder. She walked to the door reaching for her keys that always sat on the hallway table but the dish lay empty.

'Where are my keys?'

'Haley we've made mistakes too and now we are trying to set things right.'

'Where are my keys?'

'You still live under our roof-'

Had nothing she said registered with them. Why were they trying to take away the one person that ever gave a damn about her? She felt the anger and the hurt explode within her. 'You can't be serious…you can't' but the words left her lips in a whisper of disbelief.

Haley slammed her bedroom door and threw herself on the bed. She buried her face in the comforter as she tried to silence the sobs that racked her body. She felt her life slipping away and there was nothing she could hold on to. The sound vibrating from her coat pocket made her come back to the reality she was trying to escape.

Nathan's voice swallowed up the eerie silence that shook in her room. 'Where are you?' the concern in his voice warmed her heart.

'Nathan, I-' She didn't even have to say two words; he just knew 'What happened? Are you okay? Haley you're scaring me!'

Haley swallowed the sadness that was interlaced in her voice, 'My parents took my car keys away and they wont let me leave.' She couldn't stop the tears as they slid along her cheeks or the shakiness that had a strong grip on her. She licked her lips in order to gain some control of the emotion that was ready to break her in two. 'They don't want me to see you anymore.'

Time stood still for a moment as the reality of the words lingered between them.

'Haley I don't understand, why?

'Your dad talked to my parents today.'

'My dad went over there.'

Haley knew that the next words she said could only make Nathan angry but she couldn't lie to him. 'He told them about the drugs and he said that you ran away.'

'Haley I have to go.' She could hear the bitterness in his voice and she was scared for him.

'Nathan- don't' but she knew the words were no use as they only met the dial tone of his phone.

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Nathan's hands gripped the steering wheel and he could hear the leather crack underneath his palms. The speed of his truck vibrated up his arms and he could feel it feed the rage that continued to multiply within him as Haley's cries echoed in his heart.

He knew his father was capable of anything but hearing Haley crying on the phone had broken something inside of him. The anger rippled within him and all reason fled from his mind.

He reached for the door knob of the beach houses front door but it cracked open with just a brush of his touch. The place was dark, it had a peculiar smell and Nathan knew that it was a set up. Nathan rounded the corner into the den and came face to face with his father.

'Can I offer you a drink, son?' The smirk on Dan's lips only added to the quickening of Nathan's pulse.

Dan stared at Nathan as he stood before him waiting for Nathan to say anything but the words never came.

'So I guess that's a no, alright but I hate to drink alone.'

Nathan's gaze settled on the pictures that were on the bookcase behind Dan. It was all fake, the smiles and the happiness that was portrayed in those pictures in reality had never been there. It was all for show or if there was any sort of truth to them it was too long ago to even remember. Nathan looked back at his father and for the first time saw how his need for control was eating him up.

He had gone too far this time. Nathan had every intention of telling off Dan with every punch or sware word that he had planned on throwing at him but now Nathan realized that's exactly what Dan wanted.

He wanted him to become so angry and broken that he would do something that he would regret. Dan would throw it in his face making him feel ashamed for his actions, making him feel so worthless that he would beat himself up over it and then Dan would take advantage of him.

It was a cycle that Nathan had fallen into when he was younger, the fear of losing his dad's love. A love he had confused with Dan's strong desire to control him. It was how Dan had kept control of him for so long but then Haley came into his life.

Haley had shown him what love was and it had nothing to do with control. She had brought true happiness into his life and little by little he had stopped pretending.

He had made the mistake of letting his fear take control of him seven months ago and he would not do that again.

Nathan felt a strange calmness come over him that he had never felt before in the presence of his dad.

'You won't win this time Dad.'

Dan looked up at him as he set his drink down.

'Haley is a part of my life and you can't change that or make me doubt that. I won't make that mistake again.'

'It wasn't a mistake Nathan, your game has never been better. You will thank me for that one day and when Haley leaves you,' Dan came out from behind the bar to stand a mere inches from his son challenging him with his stare,' and she will leave you, you will only regret that you didn't listen to me.'

'Dad I don't know what sick world you have created for yourself but I wont be part of it.'

The vibration of Dan's laugh prickled at Nathan and the anger that he tried to keep below his surface bubbled.

'It's too late Nathan you're already a part of it. You are my son, MY SON! Do you know what that means…..? Nathan?' Dan grabbed Nathan's arm pulling him so close that his whisper would become an imprint into his sons mind. 'It means that you are a part of me, that what you see in me, what you hate in me is in you.'

Nathan looked Dan in the eye determined to not fall 'You are wrong.'

'Am not Nathan and that scares you. You can hide in Karen's house or hide in what you think is love with Haley but you won't escape me. I am a part of you and you may think denying the part of you that wants basketball will somehow get rid of me but it won't.'

Nathan took a step back as Dan's words began to suffocate him. He couldn't breathe; he needed to get away, away from the claws that he could feel sinking into him.

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Haley turned over in her bed clutching the phone to her chest as she stared out the window that was blinded with rain. She felt as she had been holding her breath for the past hour. The tears had dried and had been replaced with anxiety over not being able to get a hold of Nathan. Different scenarios kept playing in her mind and each one was worse than the other.

She closed her eyes and tried to preoccupy her mind with the sound of the rain. She loved it when it rained it always felt as if the bad parts of the world were being washed away and new hope was being born.

Haley's eyes opened as some sort of commotion downstairs broke through her reverie. It was a mix of muffled voices and as Haley made her way downstairs the sound of the rain and wind outside pulsated up the walls.

She came upon her mother and father blocking the entrance to the front door and even though she couldn't see him she could hear Nathan's voice from outside.

'Mr. and Mrs. James, please just let me see her. That's all that I ask just for a moment.' The pleading in his voice made Haley fly down the stairs.

'What's going on?'

Her parents turned around to face her and Lydia stepped towards her. 'Haley, go upstairs.'

'Is that Nathan outside?' But Lydia only answered her with a hand gesture for her to once again go upstairs.

'Nathan!'

'Haley!'

She could barely see him over her dad's shoulder but she could see he had been pushed outside and was being poured on by the evening rain.

She didn't know how she did it but she pushed past her parents and ran out past the porch and onto the walkway in their front yard. Nathan was on the sidewalk only a few feet from her standing in front of his truck.

He was soaked through to the bone and she could see his chest trembling underneath his sweatshirt. He didn't step towards her but the pleading in his eyes said more than he needed to. She couldn't hear him but the way his lips moved she knew what he was asking.

'Haley, come with me'

She felt his words tug at her heart and every part of her wanted to take his hand and follow him anywhere. She tried not hear her parent's voices as they ricocheted off the rain around her.

The longer she stood there between them common sense started to take a hold on her. She felt that this decision would change her life forever and for the first time Haley James didn't know what to do.


	13. Tell Me

Chapter 13

The Lengths

The dark lines slowly ate away the white and an image started to appear on the paper. Peyton shivered as she felt the cold of the wind creep in through the crack of her window. She turned her body placing her art book to her side and threw her legs over the bed to make her way towards it. The sound of the crackling sky made her pause.

She then pushed back her curtain and watched as the cement outside her house started to be imprinted with spots of rain.

Peyton slid down to her knees and held out her arm to the falling rain. She felt it land and slide against her skin. It tickled her and she could feel the goose bumps ripple.

The sound of her stereo skipping on one of tracks caused Peyton to pull her arm back inside the confines of her room. She brushed her wet hand into her hair and made her way to the stereo that sat in her closet.

She ejected the disk and searched for a new one but first she couldn't help but close her eyes as she felt the coolness of the rain water against her forehead. Without taking a moment to open her eyes she slid her hand along her collection of cds and pulled one out.

She still didn't take a peak until the cd was safely being put into the stereo.

Before she could push play the sound of a knock on her door caused her to turn around.

'Hey' Lucas looked good as he entered her room. He offered her a shy smile and the uneasiness that she didn't know she was harboring slowly started to melt.

He had this uncanny ability to just get her. She didn't know that was possible but then again her last relationship had been with a stone wall also known as Nathan. He wasn't like that anymore and Peyton often found herself thinking that maybe he never was. Maybe she had just brought that out in him but then she remembered his father and she could take comfort that was his fault.

'I couldn't remember what time you said to come over so I just did. I hope that's okay.' The way he was looking at her right now made her shiver. Peyton glanced at the window to see if it was still open. Nope it was closed; it was definitely him that was making her feel warm and cold at the same time.

'Its cool, um I just haven't eaten yet. Do you feel like Chinese?'

'Yeah that sounds good.'

'Ok cool um I have some menus downstairs'

It was hard to make anything casual with Luke, when he had come to her car today asking to talk about things Peyton had felt her heart tumble just at his mere presence.

The attraction between them had never been the problem. Ever since she had kissed him at the Ravens fundraiser over a year and some months ago she had known that she never wanted to stop.

She had known that like she knew that the sun would rise the next day. It didn't mean she accepted it. She had started running and hiding that day.

It had been quite a shock. The feelings that had exploded within her at that first contact had knocked her over and she still hadn't gotten up.

Sometimes at night when there was no music and her dad was gone, she swore she could hear Luke's voice rumble throughout the house, professing his love for her. The image of him placing his hand on her heart forever imprinted in her memory.

It was fear that made her run that day. It was fear that made it easy for her to live in denial, the denial that she was still drowning in.

Peyton emerged from the kitchen to find Luke rummaging through the shelves of books her dad lined against the far wall.

'They said it would be a half hour.' Peyton took a seat on the couch and watched as Luke walked towards her.

Before he could sit down she reached out her hand and found his. He looked down at her as she forced herself to look up at him.

She could feel the tears sting her eyes and she mentally cursed herself for being so weak. The tears weren't out of sadness; it was frustration and confusion that seemed to be constantly swimming within her. She was tired of it.

She felt his rough hand slide against her cheek and she pulled on the hand that she still held within hers down. He sat next to her on the couch turning her face towards him. His lips met hers in one swift motion. It was soft and gentle at first, inside of her she felt a swirl of nerves take flight.

As the kiss deepened the heat of it started to run up Peyton's back. Her arms took on a mind of their own creeping along the inside of his shirt. She turned her body so now they were facing each other and she let Luke pull her close to him.

His lips left her mouth and she heard herself sigh as they slid along her neck. She was losing herself in him. His hands were gliding along her back leaving heat patterns on her clothes.

Her heart beat was echoing in the room intertwining with the sound of their staggered breathing. She felt him pull away from her and the haze that she was surrounded by broke.

She opened her eyes to see him looking at her. Her hand left his back finding itself along the side of his cheek. He closed his eyes at her soft touch and a smile cracked on Peyton's lips.

'Luke' his eyes opened at the sound of her voice, 'I want to stop running.'

He smiled at her and placed a slow kiss upon her lips at the same time guiding their bodies down into the couch.

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Brooke was confused. She had been at Jakes for over an hour and they were still studying.

She was wearing a low cut shirt and her lip gloss had been perfectly applied. She had even tossed her hair over her shoulder a few times as well as cross and recross her legs.

She was sending all of the signals but he just wasn't getting it.

He wasn't stupid in fact he even explained quadratic equations so well that she thought that she actually understood it.

But this was ridiculous had he actually taken her seriously when she mentioned that they should get together to study. Didn't she wink after she said that? Maybe she hadn't.

Frustration was starting to get the better of her that her nervous habits were starting to take over. She tapped her pencil against her math book trying to keep herself from letting her confusion get the best of her.

Here he had told her that his parents were working and that Jenny was with one of his aunts for the night. He had made it more than clear that they had an empty house to themselves. She even swore she could smell his cologne.

Oh Mr. Jagelski was quite the tease.

But here she was sitting at his kitchen table surrounded by books and assignments. It wasn't exactly what she had pictured but she was with Jake and maybe this was his game.

All guys had some sort of pull game they did and sure she had never run across anything like this before but she had never met anyone like Jake either.

He was completely different. Well he was hot like all the others but he was also smart and kind and treated her like a person and not some pretty shiny object like the guys she dated tended to do.

It had never bothered her before because it was fun and that's really I she ever really wanted. She wasn't looking for a relationship then.

The idea of it had never really entered her mind well not until Lucas came along but that whole relationship was screwed up from the beginning.

She let out a frustrated sigh that was quickly stifled when she felt Jakes hand upon hers.

'You're going to kill that book with your pencil.'

'What?'

Jake laughed and she felt herself almost smile too. It wasn't fair he was just too cute when he laughed and she wanted to be a little mad at him for not noticing how cute she was.

'Brooke what's wrong?' ok so she didn't think he would call her out on it.

'Nothing is wrong whywouldyouthinksomethingwaswrong?' If she said it really fast he wouldn't see how nervous he was making her.

Brooke watched his hand move up her arm and she wanted to laugh at how funny this was. Here she had wanted him to touch her or notice her, she had been complaining about it to herself for the past hour and now that he was she didn't know if she could handle it.

'Something is obviously wrong you keep sighing and tapping your pencil'

'You think it's funny?' Brooke pulled her arm from under his touch and punched his shoulder.

'I don't think its funny I think you're cute when you're frustrated over not being able to get the math problem.'

Brooke couldn't help but laugh at him now, he really didn't get it. 'That's not what am frustrated over.'

'Its not?' Now it was his turn to be confused. But instead of playing him like she normally did with boys she felt the honesty pour out of her.

'Do you like me?' She saw the shock of her question appear on his face and she didn't know how to take it.

'I do like you.' His hand found hers but she pulled it back.

'No I mean do you like me? Like why haven't you kissed me yet kinda like?'

He just stared at her and she held her breath.

She slowly began to feel the ground beneath her shake and she thought that this was it, the ground was going to open up and swallow her.

But then she realized that it was Jake, he had grabbed the leg of her chair and was slowly pulling her close to him.

'I do like you' and she couldn't help but smile. His hand let go of her chair and found her face cupping her cheek and bringing her mouth to his.

'I do like-' but she didn't let him get the last word out, his lips were softer than she had even imagined.

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The sound of the rain against the window pane vibrated in Haley's chest. She placed her head against it and closed her eyes.

She didn't want to think for the moment, even though voices and consequences were running inside of her mind.

She had told Nathan a long time ago to just live in the moment.

Why couldn't she do that?

Why did she have to be so worried about what people thought or how A+ B will equal C.

She had always lived by rules and when she had the chance to be free and do what she wanted she felt nothing but guilt.

It wasn't Nathan she trusted him more than anything. It was just the idea of disappointing someone but in the end someone would always be disappointed.

She wanted to go with Nathan, she would follow him anywhere and when he had stood before her only a few hours ago she knew that.

She knew that if she went with him he would take care of her and love her and protect her.

By him coming to her had been proof of that.

Seven months ago he hadn't been able to do it. He wasn't able to ask her to come with him because he hadn't been strong enough, she understood that now. It hadn't been because he didn't love her but because he didn't love himself.

A part of her knew that Nathan would probably have to deal with that on a day to day basis but he was taking steps, he was trying to change and she respected him for it.

Pulling her legs up to her chest she pulled her sweatshirt around her. She was still trying to warm up from standing out in the rain. Her mind kept going back to those few moments where she wished time would have stood still.

Her parents upset behind her and Nathan vulnerable in front of her. It was never a question who she wanted to be with. Nathan it was as simple as that, if only it was that simple.

She felt bad for how she saw his face change in front of her sadness mingling with the drops of rain that traveled down his face.

It had broken her in two as she saw him letting her go.

Haley felt the tears slide down her cheeks and she wished she could take that moment back.

'Babe please don't cry, if you want to go back I will take you.'

Haley wiped at her tears and unhooked her seatbelt so she could be closer to Nathan. He took his hand off the steering wheel and put his arm around her pulling her to his side.

'Nathan, I love you. I want to be wherever you are.' It was the truth she would give him nothing less.

'I just don't want you to cry.' She reached her hand up to his face rubbing his cheek and then moving it down to rest her hand in the crook of his neck. Her body was all twisted trying to be as close to him as possible but she had never felt more comfortable.

'Am not crying because I want to go back to my parents, am just sad that for a moment I made you doubt that I wouldn't go with you.'

'Hales-' but the kiss she placed upon his neck silenced him.

'I love you Nathan'

'I love you too.'

Haley snuggled down into his side and propped her legs up on the seat. She pulled the Ravens basket ball blanket down from the back of the seat and closed her eyes, letting the sound of Nathan's breathing and the rain lull her into sleep.

She didn't know where they were going but as long as she was Nathan, nothing else mattered.


	14. Love

Chapter 14

'Babe wake up... We're here.' Nathan ran his hand through Haley's hair slightly nudging her awake. She opened her eyes and offered him a small smile as she pulled herself up onto a sitting position. She reached for his hand that was on her shoulder and brought it to her lips brushing a small kiss against it.

'Hi, sleeping beauty'

Haley laughed at him as she pulled her hair back over her ears. She knew she looked like something the car had been dragging behind it. Her hair was all frizzy from her stint in the rain and her eyes were probably all puffy from sleep.

It was no fair really because Nathan had been in that same rain and had been driving for god only knows how many hours but he looked perfect. He was the only person that she knew who could pull off a smirk smile and that combined with a little bit of tiredness around his eyes made him look a little rugged and completely sexy.

Haley turned her body towards the front of the cab so she could pull down the mirror on the passenger side of the car when she fully noticed that they had stopped.

'Where are we?' Nathan couldn't help but smile at the awe that was painted on Haley's face.

A few feet in front of them sat a white cottage with yellow shudders surrounded by trees and flowers. It was perched high on a bluff that overlooked an expansive river below. It was picturesque and it almost seemed as if you had walked right into a painting.

Haley opened the truck door and stepped out. Her feet melting into the damp mud beneath her but it couldn't slow her down. She had no control of her own legs it was as if the house was calling to her.

Nathan came up next to her reaching for her hand, intertwining their fingers as he pulled her with him to the steps of the house.

Haley was about to take the first step when she stopped abruptly almost causing Nathan to lose his balance. He let go of her hand just smiling back at her as he took the steps up the porch.

'Nathan how did you find this place? Can we afford it? Are we breaking in? Nathan ...'

Nathan was used to Haley's flights of panic; it was the logical part of her coming out. It didn't bother him because in most situations he needed her reasoning and common sense to stay grounded.

Instead of answering her questions this time like he always did to put her at ease Nathan bent down and jimmied one of the wood planks of the porch causing it to give way. He held back his laughter as he heard Haley gasp behind him. He reached into the space and pulled out the key only turning around to show Haley before he stood up.

'While you were sleeping I called Uncle Cooper. He told me about this place and said that we could use it as long as we needed. He never comes up here anymore.'

Haley said nothing to this statement but only glanced between Nathan and the house before scrunching up her nose in contemplation. Nathan could almost see the wheels turning in her mind as she tried to digest everything he just told her.

Nathan shoved the key in his pocket and went down the few steps of the porch to place his hands on Haley's shoulders. 'I know I know the style of the house doesn't really scream race car driver. He got it in his latest divorce settlement; his ex-wife did all the decorating. Come on lets go inside.'

Before Nathan could even get the door all the way opened Haley was pushing past him to get in. He had almost made it all the way in when she turned around and pushed on his chest that caused him to take an involuntary step back. Her 5 foot frame could fool you she was quite strong.

'Oh no you don't Mr. Scott take your shoes off before you go any further.' Nathan placed a kiss on her nose as he slipped off his Jordan's. She watched him for a second to make sure he was doing what he was told before she ventured farther into the house.

'Wow this place is great.' Nathan couldn't argue with her on that. From the outside the house had looked small and quaint but on the inside it was spacious and quite elegant. It opened into a big living room that held lush couches and a bigger than life fireplace. Just past it you could see a part of the kitchen and a small den.

'Yeah Coop said I could always call him when I needed him. He really came through.' Nathan paused as he saw Haley a few feet in front of him making her way down the hallway.

'I honestly didn't know where we were going to go.' He didn't know why he said that, it wasn't like Haley needed to hear it but a few hours ago as she was snuggled into his side asleep he had started to panic.

He had gone and done something again without fully thinking it through but this time he had dragged Haley into it. He had been selfish because he had to get out and he knew he wouldn't have been able to go without her. He didn't think past the part of getting in the car and driving. Then she had told him that she loved him telling him that she trusted him.

He wanted to do right by her and a part of himself didn't want to ask anyone for help, he wanted to take care of her himself but he knew he couldn't, so he had called Coop and here they were. He had made the right move by calling him. He hadn't asked any questions about why Nathan needed a place to crash, but then Coop knew the Dan and Nathan history.

Haley had made her way back to him placing her arms around his waist pushing up slightly on her tip toes so when she tilted her head back he could see right into her eyes. 'Coop came through; you did the right thing calling him and LOOK AT THIS PLACE.' He felt Haley's hand skim his butt and squeeze it turning around as fast as she could before he could call her on it. He grabbed her hand before she made it fully out of his embrace. 'I think we should go on the tour.'

'Well lead the way Mr. Scott.'

Nathan headed straight down the hallway by passing several rooms on the left and right side. He opened the french doors of the last room and revealed an expansive room adorned in white. In the middle of the room sat a cherry wood king size canopy bed.

Nathan looked down to Haley that stood at his side. 'Well what do you know, this must be the master bedroom.'

Haley slapped at his chest with her hand, 'Wow you think?'

Nathan kicked the doors shut with his foot before placing his arm around Haley's waist to pull her farther into the bedroom. 'Well its getting pretty late, we should get you out of those wet clothes.'

Haley laughed at him as he turned her around in his arms so that she was facing him. She unzipped her sweater as he helped slide it down her shoulders.

'How long have you been waiting to say that?' Haley sighed as Nathan's lips found her exposed shoulder. His lips ventured up her neck as he felt her small hands slide under his shirt and creep up his back.

His lips brushed against her ear so he could whisper, 'Awhile.'

Her sweater fell into a pool at her feet, 'But I have nothing to change into.' Nathan pulled back so he could see her big brown eyes as he played with the hem of her t-shirt. 'I don't see the problem.'

Her arms flew in the air, her eyes filling with lust and want as she felt Nathan's fingers slide up her skin taking off her shirt. When her arms came back down she criss crossed them in front of her body shielding Nathan's view of her breasts spilling over her lace bra.

'I'll be cold.'

Nathan hooked his hands around her small wrists pulling them away from her body and placing them around his waist. He kissed her pouty lips and then her cheeks, her neck and as her body bent back so he could kiss more of her he wrapped her in his arms and carried her over to the bed.

He placed her in the middle of it taking a moment to admire the curves and silkiness of her skin. She stared at him with love in her eyes and he wondered how she could stare at him like that and still blush.

She was becoming anxious for him that she almost sat up so she could reach out for him but before she could Nathan crawled up the end of the bed.

He brushed his hands on her feet as he bent down to kiss the jeans that covered her knees, he slowly made his way up so he could kiss her belly button, taking a moment to suck on the skin so when he let it go it made a loud popping noise. He felt Haley giggle and he couldn't help but smile before he kissed the spot again.

Next he nipped and kissed his way up her stomach watching the goose bumps appear as he moved farther north. His mouth was now in between the valley of her breasts he pressed him palms into the mounds and Haley arched into him. He laid his cheek against her heart and he could feel her body move beneath him.

Her hands were in his hair as she tried to guide him up to her lips but he resisted her. He loved how she wanted him, how she could give so much of herself to him and he wanted to show her how much he loved her.

He by passed her breasts chastely kissing her lips before he threw his leg over her waist so he could straddle her. He unzipped his sweater and threw it over the side of the bed, next he took off his shirt and threw it over the otherside of the bed, and he saw her eyes glaze over.

He bent down so that he hovered just above her, 'I'll keep you warm.'

She hooked her arms around his neck pulling him farther down giving him slight kisses along his jaw, 'will you?'

Nathan ran his hands through her hair, 'Hmmmmm.'

She bit his lip and Nathan felt his toes tingle, 'and how will you do that Nathan baby.'

His hands found the zipper of her jeans, 'Let me show you.'

Haley's mouth finally connected with Nathan's and slowly they began to drown in the waves of passion that spilled inside of them.

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'You are kidding me right?' Luke let out a frustrated sigh as he got up from the couch. He extended his hand to help Peyton get up as well.

She stood up and resituated her clothes as well as running her hands through her curls trying to straighten them out before she headed to the door.

She slapped Luke's shoulder as he tugged on the loop of her jeans to pull her back, 'Down boy, but I know I know am not even hungry anymore.'

The door bell rang again but this time it was followed by Luke's cell phone ringing. 'Good you answer that and I will answer the Chinese food guy and we will be back to making out in no time.'

'Ok so I ordered two cokes and I only see one, Oh sorry there it is. Thanks have a nice night and keep the change.' Peyton shut the door with her hip as she tried to balance enough food in her arms to feed a small army.

Now that the food was right under her nose she realized just how hungry she was, Luke was a good distraction his kisses and hands had made her completely forget.

Peyton made her way into the kitchen to hear the end of Luke's conversation.

'I will find her am sure she's ok Nathan wouldn't do anything to put her in danger... Yes, Yes I know... .' Luke looked up to see Peyton looking at him and all he could offer her was a frustrated shrug. 'No don't do that, I will call them myself and I am sure they are just fine... Just give me 24 hrs... and then we can go from there... ok... ok... thank you.'

'What was all that about?' Peyton headed over the side of the island Luke was standing on instinctively placing a hand on his back to calm him. When he looked up to meet Peyton's eyes she saw them change from anger to a frustrated softness.

He pulled Peyton in close' Thanks Pey for calming me down. It wont help anyone if am angry.'

He let her go as he reached out for his cell phone, 'Nathan and Haley ran away'

'What' So much for staying calm this was definitely something that warranted a little panic. If someone told her that Brooke had run away or that Luke was caught for shoplifting she would have been surprised but not in a state of panic. But this was Haley James she just didn't do stuff like this.

'Yeah I guess her parents found out about Nathan using drugs last year and they panicked and forbid Haley to see him so he showed up at her house and she went with him. That was Haley's parents, they want to call the cops but I persuaded them to let me look for them first.'

'You think you can.' It pained Peyton to see Luke so upset. He didn't answer her but just started dialing numbers on his cell phone.

He had been pacing back and forth for the last 10 minutes calling Haley's cell and then Nathan's over and over only to be met with voice mails.

'They aren't answering, damnit' Luke went to throw his cell phone across the room but Peyton stopped him by placing her hand on his and taking the phone from him.

'Luke am sure they are ok, Nathan probably just needed to get away. Haley most likely saw that and they will probably be back in the morning.' Peyton actually began to believe that.

Nathan went through bouts of mood swings and no one could calm him down like Haley. She had a way with him that Peyton could never really completely understand but then she wasn't Haley. She had probably just wanted to help Nathan and then after she had convinced him that things were going to be ok they would make their way back.

'I know they are. I wouldn't trust Haley with anyone else but that's not the point.' Luke checked his watch and took a seat on the stool.

'Nathan has been on this downward spiral for a long time and for a short bit Haley pulled him out of that. But now ...Now am starting to think that Nathan has to hit bottom before he can come back up.'

'Luke he isn't on drugs... .'

He looked up to Peyton making her aware that he did hear the slight snap in her voice. 'Peyton that's not what am saying. What am saying is that Dan is like a drug that Nathan has been on his whole life. He controlled and pushed him every single day of his life and now that Nathan is trying to break free there are going to be consequences. Nathan is either going to self destruct or hopefully come out clean.'

It hurt Luke to say it but over the last few days he had begun to see it. The effects of Dan on his brother and it hurt to know that Nathan may never fully heal.

Peyton reached out to Luke taking his hand in hers squeezing it so he would look at her. 'Then we help him.'

Luke brought her hand to his chest placing both of his hands around hers. 'We can't do that if he takes off, if he's avoiding the whole thing all together. He's been back a few weeks and he still hasn't even talked to his mother. He doesn't want to face it all Peyton.'

'So what do we do now?' Luke paused for a moment looking into her eyes and then to the clock. He let go of her hand and reached for his cell phone placing it in his jeans pocket.

'Well it looks like Nathan is on the way to self destruction and this time he's taking Haley with him. I can't let that happen.'

Peyton pulled out two cokes from the bags on the counter and placed them in her handbag. Next she took some spring rolls and fried rice piling it into two Tupperware containers and placed them in a plastic bag along with two forks. She grabbed her keys and jacket and looked back at Luke who was just staring after her.

'Peyton what are you doing?'

She smiled back at him as she opened the front door, 'Am helping you find them, now come on before we lose the light of the day.'

Luke grabbed his jacket off the couch and followed after Peyton placing a kiss on her cheek as they headed out the door.

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Haley turned over in bed reaching out for Nathan beside her but was only met with a mass of blankets and pillows. Sitting up she rubbed her eyes trying to look around the room to see if Nathan was anywhere in sight.

Her eyes landed on a small light outside the glass doors that led to the balcony. She could make out his strong silhouette and she sighed at the contentment she felt settle inside of her.

Grabbing the white comforter around her she slid off the high bed and slowly made her way out to him.

Nathan turned to meet Haley's eyes as she came out the side door. She looked small and naturally beautiful all snug inside of the big blanket.

The skin of her shoulders and neck that peeked out glowed under the starry night and he could almost feel the smoothness of them against his lips. Whenever she was around he couldn't get enough of her and he wondered how he even thought of anything else.

She lazily walked towards him sending him a small smirk as he helped her on to the bed bench he was laying on so she could drape herself over him. She opened the comforter a bit so she could cover him and so that most of her skin was now flush against him.

She placed a kiss on his chest before she sat up to meet his eyes. Brushing a finger along his brow his eyes fluttered shut at the sensation.

'I don't like it when you leave me alone...' the echo of those words stayed stagnant around them and Haley tried to erase them or at least take them back. 'I mean I don't like it when you leave me alone in bed.'

Nathan opened his eyes as he reached for her hand that was still sitting on the side of his face. He took the palm and placed a few kisses along the lines before fully looking up at her.

'We never really talked about it Hales.'

Haley pulled her hand form him and brought it to her chest letting her body fall into Nathans. She tried to make herself as small as possible so she could get lost in him. 'I know'

She felt his hands gently run along her arms and the little pressure he placed on them made her sit back up.

'Haley we need too'

The glassiness that stormed her eyes surprised her as much as it did Nathan. 'Do we... I like where we are right now Nathan.'

He brushed the few tears that escaped her eyes and were traveling down her cheek with his thumb. 'Baby if we ignore it, it doesn't mean it still won't be there.'

'Ok' it was small and unsure but that was the only word that could make it past the lump that was forming in her throat.

Nathan sat up so that he and Haley were eye level. He looked at her at the person that he knew was so strong but right now at this moment under the stars and moonlit sky she looked vulnerable and scared and Nathan didn't want her to feel like her world could shatter at any moment. He placed his forehead to hers and from somewhere deep inside of him with so much love he gave her all he had.

'Am sorry'

'I accept'

Nathan pulled back from her but she leaned back into the space he had created between them, 'Haley.'

She pushed at his shoulders causing the blanket that had been covering her shoulders to fall. He went to cover her back up but she pushed his hands away from her so instead they settled on the blanket of her thigh.

'What Nathan, you made some choices, yes they hurt and I was angry at you. I didn't understand it and I thought I would never get over it but now I know.' Nathan looked past her but she slid her fingers along his cheek turning his face to look at her.

'I know why because over the last week you have showed me more of yourself then you did in the past year. I see what you had to face everyday of your life and I understand why you thought you couldn't share that with me. I know that you want to protect me from everything in the world and from what you think are the worst parts of you. But the good and bad are what make you the man I love.'

She felt the words swirl inside of her heart. She couldn't help but let them pour out. She knew that his need to hear these words was almost as strong as her need to tell him.

'You are a good man Nathan and you love me more than anyone possibly can.' She reached for the hand that was running along her thigh and placed it on the skin that lay exposed over her heart.

'I see it, in those eyes that don't instantly glaze over when things get to real between us. When you look at me now I see all of your emotions, your not shutting me out as much as you used to. Your trying Nathan and I see that and that makes me want to try harder for us too.'

The tears that slid down her cheeks were met with Nathan's lips as he tried to kiss them away. She closed her eyes taking a moment to revel in the warmth and care he was bestowing upon her. She tightened her grip on his hand that still lay on her heart. 'You made some mistakes in order to get to this point so I forgive you because I love you.'

She pulled her face away from his adoration so he could see her eyes at her very soul that she laid before him. 'That's what love is, it's about trust and work and forgiveness. So lets not hold on to the past lets just be each others future.'

Nathan felt something inside of him. He couldn't explain it or pinpoint exactly where it came from, it swam through him. It seemed to expand and flow through him faster and harder with every word that fell from her lips. He had watched her practically open up her heart to him and never in his life did he think that anyone would do that, especially for him.

If you asked Nathan a month ago or even yesterday if he was in love he would have told you yes in less than a heartbeat. But now as Haley sat cradled in his embrace he understood for the first time what love looked like.

His love was in the form of a beautiful brown haired girl who held his world in between her hand and heart. He loved Haley with every part of him and as he looked at her now he admired her for the strength she possessed, in the trust she had in him and most importantly in the faith that she gave him.

He tried to say something but the words just weren't enough.

Haley seemed to understand him like he knew she would offering him a small smile as she traced his lips with her fingertips. His arm slid around her waist, his other hand slipped under the blankets searching for the skin of her thigh pulling her body as close as possible.

He rested his head on her shoulder feeling her breath tremble in her body. He placed a small kiss on her shoulder as he buried his head in the crook of her neck.

'I love you Hales,' it came out in a whisper igniting a spark of heat below the surface of her skin.

She looked up to the moon as she felt the comforter that hid her fall open and her body being overtaken with Nathan's lips and hands. She closed her eyes and released Nathan's name into the night sky.

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'Wow I didn't know studying could be so much fun.' Brooke smiled at Jake as she tried to wipe her lip gloss from his lips.

She practically laughed out loud at the sheepish smile that appeared on his face. He reached for her hand that lingered on his cheek and placed a loud kiss on it.

'You're telling me.'

Brooke pulled at the collar of his shirt to pull him close, 'No am more like showing you.'

His hand ran through Brooke's hair and he could feel her scooting closer to him on the couch. Before anything could get more heated he pulled away from her patting her knee as he went to stand up.

Brooke didn't hide the confused expression that adorned her face as she watched him gathering the books up that lay scattered over the coffee table.

He looked back at her as he placed all of her books in her bag. 'It's getting late.'

She pushed her bag out of his hands and pulled them into her lap. 'Jake it's barely 10; it's really not late, at all.' She took his palms and placed them at the base of her neck. 'I say we have plenty of time.'

He brushed his hands down to rub gently on her arms, 'Well my parents will be home soon and I should really call Jenny to say goodnight.'

'Oh I guess you're right, how about we study tomorrow.'

'I can't mom and dad are both working and I don't have a baby sitter.'

'Oh' Brooke didn't know what to think a thousand things were running through her mind. She was so used to being the high maintenance one but it looked as if spending time with Jake was going to be a challenge.

She wasn't used to having to work in order to get a boys attention or let alone spend time with them. She brushed her skirt as she searched for her jacket with her eyes.

Jake could easily see the slight disappointment that graced Brookes face. He felt bad for having to ask her to leave. In fact it was the last thing he wanted to do but it was late and he had other responsibilities. Besides he didn't want Brooke to think he was taking advantage of her. Things had been becoming pretty heated between them and they hadn't even gone on an official date.

He knew what Brookes reputation was but the months of friendship that they had before they started kissing showed him a whole other part of Brooke.

He wanted her to know that he thought she deserved more than that. He wanted to be the guy that gave her that.

He still wasn't sure why Brooke had even taken interest in him. He was a teenage father who went in between school and work. He wasn't really anything special but his life was somewhat complicated.

It was hard trying to balance everything and sometimes it all felt so overwhelming. He had used music to take time for himself but he could barely fit that in these days.

Brooke's presence in his life even the small moments where she kidnapped him to go eat or told him one of her corny jokes was like a breath of fresh air. He couldn't deny the fact that she brought a level of excitement into his somewhat routine life.

He hadn't really thought of taking things any further than a friendship with her but it seemed inevitable. He wanted to spend more time with her. He found himself thinking of her or staring at her in class.

After his relationship with Nicki he had decided that he wouldn't enter into a new relationship until Jenny was older but sometimes you just couldn't plan things like this. He didn't know what to do but he knew he didn't want to hurt Brooke but he didn't just want to be friends either.

'I guess I should go then.'

He couldn't just let her go, 'How about this weekend I take you on a real date.'

A smile instantly appeared on Brookes face. She slipped her back pack over her shoulders and made her way over to Jake who stood in the entrance of the house.

'You mean study by candlelight.'

Jake laughed as he pulled on the strap of her back pack so she that she was a little closer to him. 'Yeah that sounds nice but how about all of that minus the homework.'

Brooke fixed the collar of Jakes shirt letting her hands rest on the upper part of his chest. 'At like a restaurant where I order food and you pay.'

He placed his hands on the side of her face bending down to kiss the tip of her nose. 'Well princess if that's what your big heart desires who am I to say no.'

She smiled up at him pushing him away as she made her way to the door. He opened the door pulling her back in before she made it all the way out. Her eyes met his and she felt butterflies. His lips met hers in a soft kiss, the tenderness of it swimming through her body.

Brooke pushed up onto her toes throwing an arm around his neck giving him full access into the cavern of her mouth. She could feel his body heat up and she became fully aware that her breathing had become staggered. She hadn't felt so enthralled in the feel of someone in so long that it was hard to let him go.

She bit at his lip before she pulled completely away from him. His breath brushed the hair on her forehead aside and she relished in the way she could make him lose himself.

She looked up at him hoping that her cheeks weren't as red as his were. 'I'll see you at school tomorrow.'

He placed his hands in his pockets and rolled onto the balls of his feet. 'Yup, I'll save you a seat.'

She slapped at his arm tugging on the material of his shirt. 'You better.'

He kissed her forehead and she looked at him for a slight moment before she headed down the steps toward her car.

She waved at him as she pulled out. He saw her car turn at the stop and Jake took the last few steps off the porch into the night air.

He hadn't expected Brooke to enter his life. It was exciting and scary but the feelings he experienced when she was around were like nothing he had ever encountered.

He just couldn't let that go.

Something inside of him wouldn't allow it.

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The room was alive in a silent vibration of Haley's and Nathan's breathing. A slight haze of warmth coated the room only broken by the light of the moon pouring in through the windows of the balcony doors.

The lovers lay together intertwined with a thin sheet covering them haphazardly. The light circles that Nathan made with his fingertips on the skin below Haley's right breast made her eyes flutter open and closed.

She had almost given into the sleep that wanted to swallow her up when the sound of Nathan's voice seeped into the air between them.

'Let's not go back, let's stay here.'

'Nathan' Haley laughed against his chest as she scooted herself farther into his side.

He slid out from underneath her laying on his side so that they could face one another. He pushed her hair out of her face kissing her lips, 'there's a church around the corner.'

She pushed at his chest causing him to fall onto his back. She crawled onto his chest hovering above him.

'Yeah ok let's get married and set up house here.' She laughed as Nathan turned her over so now that she was on her back and Nathan hovered above her.

'Why not?' The serious in his eyes made her pause, 'Nathan-'

'Babe you said it yourself, let's be each others future.' His eyes searched hers. She could see the vulnerability reflecting in them and Haley didn't know what to say.

She moved from beneath them sitting up so her back was against the head board.

'Nathan don't.'

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Sitting up next to her he reached for her hand that lay cradled in her lap. He placed small kisses on her fingertips until she looked up at him.

'Haley if we go back there they will try to pull us apart. They won't let me see you.'

She moved into his lap so her legs hooked behind his back. She rested her head against his chest closing her eyes as she felt his hands run along her naked back.

'We're strong enough to go against them.'

Nathan pulled her away from him, 'So what if we are Haley? What are we going to do sneak around? Wait till my dad pulls another scheme so your parents will finally send you off to boarding school.'

Haley couldn't stop the tears that sprang to her eyes. She knew there were things they would have to face when they got back but tonight she didn't want to think about it.

'Haley baby am sorry, am sorry I just…. I don't want to be without you…. Do you want to be with me?'

Haley's tears were pulled back by the surprise of Nathan's words. She couldn't be angry at him but she couldn't hide her hurt.

'Nathan of course I do. Haven't I already proved that to you?'

Nathan reached out for Haley burying his head in her chest leaving soft pecks along her collar bone in between his words. 'Am sorry, yes you have, am sorry. I just love you so much.'

She brushed the hair along his neck bending her head down to whisper into his ear. 'I love you too.'

He kissed up her neck until finally his lips met hers. Their bodies moved until Haley lay flat against the bed and Nathan was hovering above her. Her legs wrapped tighter around his waist moving him even closer to her so his body was completely flush with hers.

As his kisses moved along her neck his hands massaged her breasts making her moan and her hands dig into the soft skin of his shoulder blades.

She felt the heat of his body glide against her sparking the mix of love and want from her fingers to her toes. She felt as if the sun was setting inside of her and the world that they created spinning in her eyes.

A cold brush of wind settled in between them and Haley opened her eyes to find Nathan looking right at her. It took her a moment to catch her breath and for the sound of her heart beat in her ears to settle down.

He brushed his hand in her hair and looked straight into her eyes. 'Haley marry me.'

She felt her breath catch in her throat, 'Nathan'

'Marry me.'

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feedback is always welcome...love alix


	15. Hurt Somebody So

A cold brush of wind settled in between them and Haley opened her eyes to find Nathan looking right at her. It took her a moment to catch her breath and for the sound of her heart beat in her ears to settle down.

He brushed his hand in her hair and looked straight into her eyes.

'Haley marry me.'

She felt her breath catch in her throat, 'Nathan'

'Marry me.'

Haley's arms slid down Nathan's neck pausing at his collar bone where she could feel his heartbeat beneath her palms. She felt as if she was in slow motion and the words that she thought would always come to her when this moment happened seemed to be caught somewhere inside of her.

'Nathan-' His name left her lips in a whisper that only seemed to pull him closer to her.

He leaned into her to kiss the corners of her mouth making her sigh fire at the contact.

He pulled away from her placing his hands on each side of her face, his fingers brushing her hair back.

'Be my wife...'

She could see the love swirling in his eyes as his words poured from the truest part of his soul. She sent him a small smile trying to hide all of the emotions that lapped inside of her. She pulled her arms to her chest before she found her palm once again on the surface of Nathan's skin.

He sat up at on his knees pulling her up with him so that she was against the head board and he was in front of her. She fixed the sheet around her with her free hand as he placed her hand that laid cradle in his to his heart.

'I know what its like to be with you and I know what its like to be without you.' He let go of her hands and rested his palms on the blanket that covered her thighs. Her eyes stared at him as if she was trying to predict what he was going to say next.

'Do I really have to tell you how much better my life is when you're sharing it with me?'

The tears that fell from her eyes trembled down her cheeks only to be met with the curves of a smile she couldn't keep from appearing.

She removed her hand from his heart so she could wipe her tears away.

'I feel the same way Nathan…………………. but marriage.'

She reached out to him as she saw his face fall. He leaned away from her but she pulled him close, his temple resting against hers.

She could hear his heart beat speed up as she felt hers come to a stop.

'Do you not want to marry me Haley' the doubt in his words made the moment crack.

She pulled out of his embrace so he could see the hurt he had placed on her.

'That's not the question Nathan.'

'It's not like your answering'

Haley brushed her hair from her face trying to take a moment to find the words that she didn't even know she wanted to say. She felt her heart and her mind fall into that familiar battle and this time she didn't know which part of her was going to win. Her mouth felt dry and the words scraped against her throat as they struggled to get out.

'There are things that we have to deal with before we even think about marriage.'

Nathan turned his body away from her so that they no longer held any contact. Haley felt herself shiver at the loss and the blanket that she pulled tighter around her offered her no comfort.

He glanced back at her as he resituated himself at the beds edge. She scooted towards him throwing her legs over the bed so she could sit next to him. She laid her head on his shoulder letting her body sink into his side.

'Nathan…. where would we live? I have a part time job and tutoring, you have basketball, and how would we be able to manage school, work…… and a marriage?'

He reached for her hand that sat on his thigh; he gently held it for a moment before he looked at her. 'Those are the same things we will have to face even if we don't get married.'

Haley felt his words brush her hair but she continued to look out to the moonlit balcony where only hours before he had helped her to forget the world around them.

She pulled on his arm so it came around her waist and watched as his hand ran along her outer thigh placing a little bit of pressure on it so her legs moved into his lap. Nathan rested his head against her forehead, his breathing falling into a rhythm with hers.

Her hand ran up his chest and dug into the valley of his neck pulling herself closer to him.

'And if we do'

She snaked her arm further around his neck so he had to bend down and look into her eyes, 'if we do get married, do you think my parents or your dad are going to stop trying to pull us apart?'

'I don't know but it will make it harder.'

'Nathan I just don't want you asking me to marry you for all of the wrong reasons.' She felt him start to pull away from her; she tightened her arms around him as she tried suppressing the tears that bubbled in her throat.

'I want to be with you...' He moved her legs from his lap as he tried to pull her arms away, 'Nathan'

She held on to him as he tried to push passed her, 'Please understand baby, I have to know that am not your escape. I love you but it would never work that way.'

Nathan walked towards the balcony doors resting his palms against the cool planes of glass. He tried to compose himself as the sadness he felt consuming him course through his body. 'Haley it hurts me that you even have to say that.'

Haley bent her head down trying to gather some of the strength she felt she was losing with every move Nathan took away from her. She twisted the sheet around her as she slid off the high bed and made her way to where Nathan stood.

She placed her hand on the upper part of his arm, 'It pains me that I even have to think it but-'

'But what Hales?' His eyes pierced her skin at first but softened as he felt her arms slip around his waist. 'I know more than anyone that I have a lot of baggage, a lot of issues that still need resolving but I know,' He placed his fingers under chin coaxing her to look up at him. Her eyes were a stormy ocean, 'but I know that you're the best part of my life and I want everyone to know that, I want you to know that.'

Haley buried her head in his chest before she leaned back into the arms that held her body close. 'I do know Nathan, I do...'

He looked into her eyes before he leaned in to place a soft kiss on her lips. He ran his hands up along her back to finally frame her face as he deepened the kiss, the heat of it making Haley melt into his body.

He pulled away from her when the need for breath was too much to ignore. Resting his lips against her forehead he massaged her shoulders to bring both of their breaths back into their bodies.

He kissed her forehead again making circles with his fingertips on the skin below her ear.

'I don't want to lose you.'

Haley smiled at him taking his hand that rested against her face and placing it against her lips. 'Even if we don't get married, you won't lose me. I won't ever leave you.'

If anyone else had uttered those same words Nathan wouldn't have believed them. For most of his life he had no one to depend on, to trust in but Haley had never given him any reason to doubt her.

'I know, I do Hales.'

She pulled on his hand guiding him back towards the bed. The white sheet fell from her body as she made her way on to the middle of it. Nathan followed her letting her take his arm and drape it across her waist. He felt her legs brush and intertwine with his and the coolness of the night couldn't even break through the blanket of passion that coated them.

They laid there for a silent moment before he felt Haley move next to him. She rolled over onto his chest smiling at him as she felt his hand brush her hair behind her ear.

'I love you so much Nathan.'

He ran his hand up along her naked back resting it on the back of her head, the slight pressure of it aligning her lips with his. He smiled at the small pecks she placed along his neck and jaw. He laughed out loud slapping her butt when she bit at his ear.

He nudged her over so she was on her back exposing more of her skin so he could leave small kisses along her breasts, up her neck and finally on her mouth. Her hands ran through his hair and he couldn't help but lose himself in the sensation.

He pulled away from her and Haley opened her eyes to look at him the sigh on her lips broke at the way his eyes poured into her.

'Hales marry me.'

Haley knew that getting in that car with Nathan that day in the rain would change her life forever. The only thing that hadn't changed was the strength of their love. She knew from somewhere deep down inside of herself that she would never love anyone like she loved him. The way he looked at her, the way he said her name and the way he touched her told her more than she would ever need to know. The reasoning that she usually led her life by would never be stronger than the feelings he created in her.

'I'll marry you'

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'I don't know where else to look.' Luke sighed into the steering wheel. He felt Peyton slump into him as the sound of the map that they had been peering over for the last hour took over the silent car as it crumpled beneath their feet.

They had called everyone they knew and no one knew where Haley and Nathan were. It had been hours since Mrs. James had called him and they were no closer to finding them only closer to the cops getting involved.

Luke rubbed his hand on his forehead trying to soothe the headache that was slowly creeping and pounding with every hour that passed.

Peyton had been really supportive not once complaining or whining as they visited the 20th hotel, or any place they thought Nathan or Haley would go to hide away.

'Luke it's been hours and we won't get anywhere tired and hungry.' Peyton pulled her hair back over her ears as she tried to stifle the yawn that was racking inside of her.

Luke looked over at her patting her leg as he nodded in agreement.

Peyton cracked the passenger door open, 'We can head back to my house get a few hours of sleep and then come up with a game plan.'

'That sounds like a good idea,' Luke couldn't hide his confusion as he watched Peyton get out of the car. 'Where are you going?'

Without answering him Peyton made her way to the driver's side of car opening his door as she reached for his hand. She pulled him out with relative ease.

She slid into his arms as he leaned against the car. 'You're a good brother'

Luke wrapped his arms tighter around Peyton's body letting his cheek rub into her hair.

'I just wish we could find them.'

Peyton leaned back into his arms so she could kiss his cheek, 'Right now it's really up to Nathan and Haley. If they want to be found they will be.'

Luke nodded as he let Peyton wiggle out of his arms. He tried to pull her back but she just gave him a slight push away from her. 'You get into the passenger seat mister, am taking us home.'

She plopped down in the driver's seat and Luke closed her door leaning into the rolled down window to kiss Peyton on the cheek.

She looked over to him as she started the car. 'Peyton what would I do without you.'

She gave him a sly smile after she gave him a small peck on his lips.

'Let's never find out.'

Luke laughed giving her a wink as he rounded the car and slid into the passenger seat.

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Haley hadn't even opened her eyes and she was already smiling. She reached out for the pillow next to her burying her face in it as she felt the ripples of a giggle spilling out of her. A blanket of warmth slowly rolled up her skin all the way from the tips of her toes to the edges of fingertips. She knew it wasn't from the sun that peaked in through the balcony glass doors it was because she was in love, she was happy and she was getting married.

It was scary at first but when the words 'I will marry you' poured from out her it just had never sounded so right. She had known from the first time that Nathan had told her on that bus bench the he loved her that she would always love him. They had had their ups and downs but somewhere deep inside of her she had undoubtedly known that in the end that she and Nathan were meant to be together. Sure right now it was happening faster than she had thought but then why not. Why couldn't forever start today?

For a moment Haley relaxed into the pillow at the same time pulling the sheet over her eyes trying to block out that morning sun. It was a new day and the doubts that wanted to break into her just wouldn't be able to and why because she refused to question what they were doing. She knew soon enough people would find out and she would have to defend her decision but right now she just wanted to relish in it.

A clatter of cabinets slamming and the sound of food sizzling in pans made Haley slide out from under the cocoon of blankets, the curious part of her wondered what her hottie of a husband to be was up to.

She really didn't want to get out of bed she was more than comfortable in the lush soft mattress and every part of her was more than tired… not that she would complain. That's what happened when you got no sleep and did well other things. Haley felt herself blush at the thought of it.

She threw her legs over the side of the bed still refusing to open her eyes all the way. Oh eggs, bacon and potatoes...ok so maybe mornings after like no sleep wouldn't be so bad and if Nathan promised to do this every morning for the rest of their lives she might even become a full fledged morning person.

Haley found Nathan's sweatshirt across the chair in the far corner of the room. She had dragged the sheet with her half way across the room but decided to drop it. She had been naked most of yesterday not caring who could see through those glass windows so it seemed kind of foolish to care now. She pulled the sweater over shoulders as she made her way down the hallway careful not to zip it up all the way. Haley James might have zipped it up all the way but the fiancé of Nathan Scott thought that her man might like a little peak.

Haley stifled her laugh at the sight of Nathan making his way around the kitchen. His hair was going every which way, shorts slung low on his waist, grey t-shirt and a smile of frustration of not being able to whistle properly, it was almost too much to take in all at once.

'Good Morning soon to be Mrs. Scott' Haley's eyes turned into big saucers he had caught her.

Haley made her way towards him not even the cool tile against her feet could keep the heat from bubbling inside of her. He held his arm out to her making it easy for her to wrap her arms around his waist. She turned her face into him leaving small pecks on his shoulder. She felt him lean into her to place a kiss against her hair. She smiled up at him taking a moment to admire the sculpture like curves of his face. He was beautiful and he was all hers.

'Good morning soon to be-' Haley paused her face slowly scrunching up at the thought of what her next words would be. Nathan looked down at Haley laughing out loud at the sight of her in deep contemplation. He leaned down to kiss the lines of her scrunched up nose.

She tried to pull away from him but he was quick to drop the spatchuela that was stirring the eggs and latched on to her waist to pull her back to him. Haley shook her head slapping his chest, 'soon to be husband of Mrs. Scott, yeah that's it ... whatever.'

Nathan reluctantly let Haley go as he made his way to the refrigerator to get some more bacon. He made it back in time to playfully slap Haley's small hand that was picking at the potatoes.

'Geese Honey you made enough to feed a small town you think I could have a little taste.' Haley feigned hurt as she pouted to Nathan. 'Where did you get all this food from by the way?'

Nathan refused to fall into her little game. 'I headed out as soon as I got up I had to run some errands there's like a ton of stores not too far away. I also thought you might be extra hungry, I know I sure worked up an appetite last night.'

Haley laughed at Nathan's sly smirk as she made her way around the island so she was right beside him. She walked her fingers up his arm finally reaching his face pulling him down to her lips. She heard the cooking utensil fall into the pan as Nathan fully gave into the kiss. She slowly pulled away from him, 'I am hungry for you Nathan baby.'

Nathan kissed her ear, 'I've heard that somewhere before.' Haley picked out the spoon from the egg pan pointing it at him, 'Awe honey you remembered.'

'I remember everything you say.' Haley tried to hide her smile as she made her way over to the stool on the other side of the kitchen's island. 'Ok ok Nathan you just better stop it now.'

Nathan looked up at her confused, 'what do you mean stop it I thought girls liked to hear stuff like that.'

Haley just shook her head at him, 'Yeah they do baby but we better be careful or soon we will be in the running for the cheesiest couple award.'

Nathan winked as her as he reached for the egg carton next to him cracking open four more eggs.

'Whoa do you really need to put more eggs in there?'

Nathan stirred the food around careful not to look at Haley, 'We're having company.'

'Company?'

Nathan placed the dish towel on the counter so he could give Haley his full attention. 'There was like 15 messages on my phone from Luke so I called him and told where we are at. Peyton and him are on their way they should be here pretty soon we aren't too far from Tree Hill.'

'Oh'

Nathan cocked his eyebrow at her, 'Oh, I was thinking more like maid of honor and best man.'

'Oh'

Nathan had thought it was a good idea but the expression on Haley's face didn't make him feel any better. 'I don't know if I like that oh'

Haley pulled Nathan's sweater farther over her legs as she twisted her body further on the stool. 'Did you tell Luke of …of our pending nuptials?'

It took a moment for Nathan to respond. He didn't know how to react to Haley's sudden change in demeanor. Had he done something wrong? 'No I didn't tell him.'

Haley's smile was tight on her lips, 'Good its better face to face.'

Nathan didn't know what to think a part of him just wanted to ignore it and maybe the old Nathan would have but a lot had changed between him and Haley. They were trying to do things right and ignoring it had the possibility of hurting them in the long run.

'Haley what's wrong?'

Haley brushed her hair behind her ears as she looked up to find Nathan looking at her with nothing but concern. She hated that reality was going to hit them so soon maybe she was just being naïve thinking that things could be easy for a little while.

'Luke isn't going to be exactly happy about us... about our decision.'

'He's your best friend' Nathan lowered his voice he didn't want to yell at Haley it wasn't fair to take out his confusion on her. 'He's your best friend and my brother he should at least be supportive.'

Haley jumped off the stool and made her way around the island and once again to Nathan side. She leaned into his arm as her hand slid under his shirt to rub at his shoulder blades.

'Baby all am saying that it might take a little convincing.'

Nathan let out a sigh before he turned to look at her. The way her large brown eyes looked at him seemed to make everything ok. He had already kind of figured that Luke wouldn't be exactly happy about their plans but he also knew that as along as Haley was at his side that what Luke thought didn't really matter.

Nathan leaned down and kissed her lips, 'Well how about I flash him some skin.'

Haley couldn't hide the shock on her face, 'WHAT?'

Nathan pulled her into his arms as she tired to pull away from him. 'Hales come on it seemed to work for you'

Haley lightly slapped at his arms as he playfully pulled at her, 'Shut up.'

'Baby are you blushing? Did I embarrass you?' Nathan called out to Haley as he watched her walk back towards the bedroom.

He let her walk further down the hallway before he chased after her picking her up by the waist. She was laughing so hard he could feel it racking through her body. He gently tossed her on the bed carefully throwing himself on top of her.

'Baby you are blushing.' Haley twisted her heard away from him so he couldn't see her red cheeks. He started kissing her along her neck and automatically her legs wrapped themselves around him. 'Am not.'

He pushed himself up on his elbows so he could look right into her eyes. She licked her lips and Nathan could hardly hold himself back. 'Hales you so are.'

Haley was done with arguing she enveloped him in her embrace, god she could kiss him morning and night longer if she didn't have to breathe.

She was almost completely consumed by Nathan when something suddenly felt off. 'Nathan is something burning?'

Nathan pulled down the zipper of her sweatshirt leaving kisses along the exposed skin. 'Well baby you are my little hot fire.'

Haley started to slap at Nathan's arms, 'No Nathan I mean breakfast is it burning?'

Nathan shot up off the bed making his way down the hallway with a slur of curse words pouring from his mouth.

Haley knew she shouldn't laugh but it was just too funny.

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Peyton pulled her hair back into a pony tail as she stared at her reflection in the passenger side mirror. She was still half asleep she really couldn't remember how she actually made it from her soft comfortable bed to the cold seat of her car.

The slight movement of Luke's hand on her thigh gave Peyton that extra push she needed to actually wake up. 'Am up, am up... So how did you find them?'

Luke threw his arm around Peyton as she melded into his side. 'He called this morning.'

Peyton waited for him to continue but Luke just kept staring at the road ahead. 'What did you say to him?'

Luke thought back at the short conversation that he had with Nathan only an hour or two earlier. It was straight and to the point there was no use in getting upset at him over the phone. If he did that Nathan would never tell him where he was hiding with Haley.

'I just told him that I needed to talk to him.'

Peyton could almost see the stress that was slowly creeping up Luke's arms. He was trying his best to hide it but Peyton knew Luke to well. She knew he was worried about how to approach Nathan, on what exactly he should say to him so that the rift they had worked so hard on getting over didn't once again come between them.

She didn't want to push Luke to tell her more but she also knew if that he didn't share it with her than it would eat at him. 'What did he say?'

Lukas peered at a small piece of paper and looked up at the street sign before turning on his signal. 'Just that he needed to talk to me too and he gave me directions.'

Peyton all of sudden felt uncomfortable against Luke's body he had gone from being soft and welcoming to becoming cold and distant. She cleared her throat, 'Well that's good a step forward just goes to show he's not hiding.'

For a moment the silence separated them and Peyton didn't know what to do. She felt as if Luke was pulling away from her. She knew it wasn't because she did anything wrong or that he was mad at her it was because he was trying to focus on what was coming up in a more than likely confrontation between him and Nathan. She just didn't see why Luke had to pull away from her to do that.

Peyton tried to busy herself by searching through her purse for some gum but was stopped mid search when she felt Luke's hand slide into hers. He offered her a small smile as he squeezed her hand.

Peyton set her purse on the floor with her free hand and once again moved across the seat to be close to Luke as possible. She closed her eyes as she felt his lips connect with her forehead.

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Brooke readjusted her watch on her wrist for the hundredth time in two minutes. She had waited outside her locker till homeroom bell rang so she could walk into class with Jake but 15 minutes into class and he was nowhere to be found. He wasn't the only one missing Haley, Nathan, Luke and Peyton were also missing in action.

Nathan and Peyton's absence was almost expected, Luke missing was a little weird but Haley missing was practically unheard of. Brooke actually hadn't talked to Haley in awhile and she couldn't help but feel bad about that. She knew Haley was going through some stuff and she should be there for her but Jake had been quite distracting.

Brooke pulled her cell phone from her purse, still no new messages. She slightly regretted erasing the two messages from Luke and the three from Peyton that was on her cell earlier but she was so sure at the time that it was just another lame attempt on their part to try and make things better between them, now she wasn't so sure.

But then again they could just be missing because once again the brothers were having one of their things. There was always some sort of drama going on between them and Brooke really didn't want anything to do with it.

She was happy right now and there weren't many times in her life where Brooke could actually admit that.

The creak of the classroom door caused everyone in the room to turn to face the person that was entering class more than 20 minutes late.

Brooke couldn't stop the smile that spread on her lips, Jake looked good. He was a little disheveled and tired around the eyes but no one could deny the natural handsomeness he possessed. She just wished that they weren't in class right now.

The moment his eyes connected with hers her heart flipped in her chest and she had never felt more like a girl.

She took her eyes off him for a second to glance at her watch, damn still another half hour before she could talk to him. She really should focus on class but she couldn't help but zone out on the boy one row over and 2 seats down from her.

The sound of the class bell startled Brooke from the daydreaming state that she hadn't even realized she had fallen into. It was just so unlike her that she felt all shades of foolish.

She carefully picked up her backpack only turning to exit the classroom when Jake fell into step next to her. His arm brushed against hers and she could almost hear the goose bumps appearing on her skin.

Jake reached for her hand intertwining their fingers as he guided her to her locker.

'I was worried, what happened to you this morning?' Jake leaned against her locker as he watched her pull books out of her bag and onto the shelves.

'Jenny wasn't feeling too good last night so I went into the doctors early this morning before school. It ran a little late.'

Brooke kissed Jake's cheek rubbing her hand along his face, 'You're a good daddy. Is she ok?'

Jake had closed his eyes at the feel of Brooke's caresses on his face. Her touch had eased out the tension he had been carrying all morning. He had been really worried this morning Jenny had really scared him.

'She's fine. Of course I over reacted it ended up being an ear infection. I just hate to see her miserable.'

Brooke nodded her head in understanding. 'Well daddy you did the right thing in taking her to the doctors.'

Jake gave her a small smile as he slipped his arms around her waist. He didn't know but he always wanted to be touching her. She was so soft and she seemed to get him. He hadn't felt like this in a long time. A part of him wanted to take things slow but right now in this moment he just wanted to be with Brooke.

Brooke leaned back into his arms for just a moment and then the warning bell went off. She wiggled out of his arms, 'Go, go ... get to your locker. You don't want to be late to another class.'

Jake pulled on the loop of her jeans as he stepped away from her. 'See you at lunch.'

Brooke winked at him, 'You bet handsome.'

She watched as he headed to his locker his stride betrayed him because without a doubt he had a body of an athlete, too bad he had to cover it with clothes.

With that thought Brooke slammed her locker and headed towards second period.

'Brooke wait up.' Brooke stopped in her tracks as she waited for Teresa to fall into step with her.

'Hey Brooke headed towards math.' Brooke rolled her eyes, 'Yup'

'Good, so um...' Brooke almost tripped when Teresa knocked her hip into hers. 'So Brooke dahling what's going on with you and Jake?'

Brooke took a moment to answer she really didn't know what to say. It wasn't because she was ashamed or embarrassed about what was going on with Jake she just didn't want to tell Teresa first. The girl was nice, dense but nice and also not really a best friend of hers. Brooke really wanted to tell Haley first. She had been her best friend for the last few months and best friends always deserved first dibs on any new boy information.

'Teresa now that's really none of your business,' Brooke didn't fail to see the look of annoyance that passed Teresa's face but she didn't really care either.

'Am just saying Brooke I really didn't see you as the mommy type.'

Brooke took an involuntary step back, 'what do you mean by that?'

Teresa stopped in her tracks turning around to face Brooke, 'Well everyone knows Jake has a kid and I guess I just figured the next person he dated would be more kid friendly and not afraid to make that kind of commitment. Face it Brooke that's just not you. You will probably get bored with him in a month and what's that do to the kid. But then again you probably never get that close to her so maybe there is no harm'

Brooke was speechless; Teresa stared back at her for a moment before she offered her a small smile and headed to class without her.

Brooke leaned against the wall trying to digest everything Teresa just said. She tried to find something to refute her claim but in the end she just maybe right. She didn't know one thing about kids in fact the only baby she had ever been around was Jenny and she hardly ever saw her.

Now Brooke highly doubted that what was happening with Jake was one of her month flings because everything between them was unlike any other relationship she ever had. But it didn't mean that it wouldn't end the same and what if he got tired of her or fell in love with someone else like Luke had done.

It was more than just her or Jakes feelings that were a part of this relationship there was a tiny baby just as involved. Brooke placed her hand on the wall beside her so she could steady herself as she headed back to class.

Maybe things between them were moving too fast. She needed to talk to Jake but right now she just didn't know what she would say.

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Haley pulled her wet hair into a messy bun as she tried to settle her ever increasing nerves. She pulled her t-shirt over her head trying to forget the fact that she wore it the day before. She really hated putting on the same clothes after a great shower but really that was the least of Haley's worries.

She could hear Nathan in the back bedroom whistling to himself and a small smile made a brief appearance on her lips. He may be Luke's brother but Haley knew Luke better than anyone. Luke wouldn't be happy about their plans.

A part of Haley wanted to grab Nathan by the hand and take him to the nearest church and just marry him before Luke even showed up. It pained her more than she cared to admit at the thought that she was trying to run from her best friend.

Haley brushed the steam of the shower off of the mirror forcing her to take a long hard look at herself. She knew that the worry lines that were slowly appearing on the smoothness of her forehead were due to the fact that she was scared.

Luke would wander in here with his reasoning and common sense, He would be able to slice and dice the haze of love that Haley had relinquished herself to. The hardest part was knowing that he would more than likely make points that she wouldn't be able to refute.

Maybe she didn't want to.

Haley tried to regain her breath but the visual picture that was forming in her mind was hard to shake. She could see it now he would be able to convince her that maybe marriage wasn't the best idea, that they were moving too fast and not thinking about the realistic aspects of their situation.

It would hurt her but it would shatter Nathan. It more than terrified her that things would be said that could possibly destroy what they had worked so hard to create.

She was afraid that after convincing Nathan of her commitment to him that he would once again doubt her.

Haley heard the car drive up, 'Haley they are here.'

She took one more look at herself in the mirror hoping to see a little fight alive in her eyes but to her dismay they were just clouded with worry.

She rounded the corner to see Nathan let Luke in through the door. There were no hugs or slaps on the back just a flat 'hello'. Not until his eyes settled on hers did some sort of emotion spark in his hazel eyes. She couldn't exactly read them but she knew they probably mirrored her own.

'Haley I was worried sick.' Haley fought down the lump in her throat as she found herself in the safety of his arms. She didn't know why she felt like crying.

'Luke she was with me…' His words faltered off as he felt the slight pat of Peyton's hand on his back. 'He knows Nathan he meant to say he was worried about the two of you.'

Nathan nodded at Peyton's words but he couldn't help but realize the obvious tension that was breathing in the large room. It was disheartening, he knew that things would probably develop into awkwardness when Luke found out that they were engaged but he didn't expect it to start out like this.

'Do you guys want breakfast, Nathan cooked.' Haley could hear her socks brush against the carpet. She was trying as hard as she could to keep herself in check to stay strong. Nathan followed her into the kitchen brushing his hand along her waist as he made his way around her. For a moment it made her feel like things would turn out ok.

Peyton threw her purse on the island looking to Luke the ball was in his court. 'Actually Hales we should probably get back. Your parents are worried sick and…'

'We aren't going back...' Nathan slid his arms around Haley's shoulders pulling her close to him. 'Not just yet Luke.'

Luke looked from his little brother to the eyes of his best friend. Now he knew something was definitely off. He had heard warning bells go off as soon as he felt Haley in his arms. She had seemed skittish but he had written off as feeling guilty for running away but now he wasn't so sure.

'Not going back... why?'

Haley could feel Nathan eyes on her she knew he was waiting for her to say something but the words just wouldn't come.

'We know it may hard to accept at first but Haley and I have thought it through. I asked her to marry me and she has accepted. We want to get married before we return to Tree Hill.'

The room fell silent. Haley wanted to run from the explosion she could see just waiting to destroy them all. She could see the words forming on Luke's lips and she could feel the tension that was just rolling inside of Nathan. She knew those two things together had the potential to rip them all to shreds. She wanted to pause the moment and run away with Nathan again.

She knew more than anything that she would follow him anywhere she would always be by his side. But she also knew that she should have been stronger, she felt the tears cascade inside of her.

She wanted to cry at the truth she was hiding.

She should have told herself that she couldn't marry him, its not that she didn't want to they were just too young. She was afraid… afraid that somewhere along the line he would regret their impulsive decision and that would break her so far down that she knew she would never be the same.

It was her selfishness that brought them to this point. She had wanted to be happy as long as possible and telling Nathan that she would marry him had been the happiest she had ever been. It had been doomed from the moment it left her lips and she was naïve to think that it wouldn't get to this point.

She only wished that it wasn't Luke that would have to do what she should have.

'Getting married...' Luke couldn't help the laugh that rolled of his tongue he didn't know how to because he didn't know where it was coming from exactly. 'You are joking right?'

Nathan didn't hide the anger that vibrated in his fist, 'Why would we joke about that?'

'Why, Why Nathan'

Haley tried to maneuver Nathan behind her as Luke moved to the other side of the island so he was right in front of them.

'Because if you even took a moment to really think about it you would know that it's not a smart move to make. Where would you live? What about school? How could you possibly afford to and you can hardly take care of yourself how are you going to take care of Haley?'

'Luke-' But Luke just waved Peyton quiet.

'You don't already think that we have thought about those things?' Nathan's voice overtook the room the anger vibrating in between each syllable.

Haley tried to press her back into Nathan to keep him at a farther distance from Luke but the pressure of his hands on her arms told her she was losing the fight. He could pick her up and move her out of the way but that couldn't happen. She wouldn't have Luke and Nathan come to blows over her.

'Obviously not or you wouldn't be getting married.'

'Luke you better stop this man. I love Haley and she loves me and we are getting married.'

'You love her, Yeah having her run away with you and then asking her to marry you before she even graduates from high school is a true act of love. It's naive and childish and am surprised Haley even agreed to it. It's not like her.'

'You don't know what happened between us and it is like Haley she follows her heart. We are getting married!'

'No you're not'

'Now why do you think you have any say in this?'

'Am Haley's best friend and am your brother.'

Haley looked to Peyton for help but her hands on Luke's arms were doing little to hold him back. Somewhere along the lines they had become shadows in the battlefield that was going to decide her future.

'Well we will just see about that.'

'Oh so now you are going to decide who she can talk to, you know who you sound like?'

'Stop-' the boys looked down at the petite brown haired girl that was struggling to breath in between them. She tried to settle the sobs that were pouring from her eyes.

Luke reached out to her but she stepped away from him and then she felt Nathan's hand slide along her waist pulling her to him. She felt safe in his arms and she just needed that moment to hold on to before everything changed.

She pulled away from his sliding her hands along his arms and down his chest before she looked into his eyes.

'Please stop-' without fully leaving Nathan's embrace she looked to Luke. 'You're arguing and yelling doesn't help anything it will only destroy us and I know none of us want that.'

She stepped out of Nathan's embrace reaching for Luke's hand, 'I appreciate your concern Luke but really this is between Nathan and I.'

Before he could say anything she turned to face Nathan letting the tears that had gathered in her heart to freely flow down her cheeks. She slid her hand along his cheek, 'You know I love you.'

'I know-' then she saw his eyes change the realization of what she was about to tell him stamping out the fire that she so loved about him.

She felt her heart break as she heard his stop.

'Nathan-' even to her ears it sounded broken.

He stepped away from her and her world flipped in her hands. He looked at her the hurt clouding his eyes.

'Nathan let me explain, please' her legs felt heavy as she chased him out of the room.

'Haley I think... I can't-' His voice was low and for a moment she saw the man she loved turn into that broken boy that had come to her bedroom door over a year ago. It hurt her to think that she had made him feel that lost. She had promised him that she would never do that to him. She had told him that he would be able to always count on her.

Her body was racking with silent sobs as she felt herself slipping to her knees as the eyes that she loved looked at her in away that she had hoped she would never see.

'Nathan don't leave... God I love you so much.' the words sliced through the space between them to only be met with a coldness that was overtaking him.

'Do you?' and with that the door slammed the vibration of it pounding into her chest. She fell to the carpet curling herself into a ball and not until a hand rubbed her back did she look up again.

'Haley, do you want to go home?' Luke's words seemed foreign to her she almost couldn't understand what he was saying. But then she didn't care.

'Get out'

Luke stepped back in shock, 'Come on Haley'

She pushed at his legs as a low growl came from deep inside her.

'I said get out... GET OUT.'

'Haley'

'GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT...' she followed them to the door slamming it behind them, 'get out ... get out... Nathan come back.'

Her back slid against the door as she felt the words form on her lips. She had never felt this way. She just didn't feel. The happiness that consumed her only hours before left no traces of its existence. Almost as if it was never there…..

That's when she realized that it never would without Nathan.


	16. Faithful As It Came

Peyton twisted her keys in her fingers as she headed towards the car. She could hear Luke trailing behind her but she didn't have the heart to turn around to face him.

What could she say?

She hadn't even caught her breath from the scene that played out moments before. It had felt like she was stuck inside of a movie but this was too real. The crying and the desperation that swallowed the room had threatened to take her with it. At moments it felt as if time was in slow motion slicing at her heart with every second that painstakingly slid by but now as Peyton looked back on it the moment only came to her in blurred perfection.

She had to admit she had been caught off guard by Nathan's announcement. She hadn't had a chance to regain her balance because no sooner did Nathan let the words fall from his lips Luke had gone on attack.

She had barely recognized him as he tore into Nathan. Luke's eyes were cold and his words held such arrogance. Peyton felt as if she had been in the wrong place at the wrong time she had nowhere to turn nothing to say and no way to help and that was the worst feeling.

Her heart went out to Haley caught between her best friend and lover. Even in the moment that Haley had silently told Nathan that she couldn't marry him the love in her eyes never dimmed. She was beautiful to watch a conflicted angel caught in a world to real for her. Peyton couldn't identify with Haley but she could revere her.

Maybe she even slightly envy her.

Peyton slid into her car waiting to turn on the engine until Luke closed the door behind him.

He brushed his fisted hands up and down the thighs of his jeans.

'I can't leave her like this Peyton what if Nathan doesn't come back.'

Peyton fell into the steering wheel letting the grooves on the wheel dig into the side of her face.

'He will he won't just leave her.'

Luke nodded as he looked at Peyton, he maybe facing her but his eyes were a million miles away.

'I just shouldn't have said anything but it was like I couldn't even think.'

She didn't fail to notice the shakiness of his hand that clumsily combed his hair.

'All I knew was that they couldn't get married.'

'Luke it's not your fault.'

Peyton tried to make him believe it as she reached out to his worried face making him actually look at her. 'I have a strong feeling all of that would have come out eventually,' Luke just nodded belief in her words not reaching his eyes, 'but as for them getting married that's up to them.'

Luke twisted his face out of Peyton's grasp his words scratchy and loud as they left his certain mouth. 'So you're saying if they want to get married then I should let them.'

'Luke-' her frustration coated his name she felt like he was purposely trying to get her to argue with him and she wanted no part in it.

'No Peyton she's my best friend-' Anger stitched into the tone of his voice, his eyes making his point. It seemed as if when it came to Haley his over protectiveness outweighed his common sense.

'And he's your brother and all they really need is your support.' Peyton didn't want to fight with him but it seemed as Luke was refusing to look at the bigger picture.

'So I should just let them make the biggest mistake of their life, I don't even know if they have thought of how much their lives will change.'

'Luke look at what happened in there, did you learn anything.' She reached out to him trying to make his hands still. 'If you keep this attitude the only thing you will do is alienate them.'

'SO I DO NOTHING'

Pushing her away from her taking out his anger on the dashboard by slamming his hands into it.

'Don't yell at me am not the enemy' Peyton turned off the car, she wouldn't go anywhere with him if he continued to act like this. She knew he had the best intentions but he was a different person one that wasn't thinking clearly.

Luke's face softened at the realization that he was making Peyton uncomfortable and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He reached out to her his hand running along her back and up to her cheek.

'Am sorry...am sorry I just...I ... ' He didn't have the words so he opened his heart to her through his eyes. 'Haley is one the most important people in my life, did you see the way she looked at me... how loud she yelled... I just didn't know what to do'

Peyton leaned into his touch taking his hand from her cheek and covering it with hers.

'She's just hurting...'

Silence fell between them as the scene from before once again ran through both of their minds. Luke scooted back into his seat once again looking at Peyton before he reached for the lever to open the door. Peyton looked at him uncertain of his intentions,' where are you going?'

He looked back out towards the yellow cottage blurry with the mist of light rain.

'I have to go help her. I can't stand it when she cries maybe I can do something.'

'Luke you can't...'

'Why not'

'Only Nathan can.'

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The sky breathed pink hues that twisted with the oncoming midnight blues of the rain clouds. For a moment Nathan thought if he reached out to the sky above him that his fingers would graze the softness of its frame.

His fingers tingled at the thought and in just that moment when he moved to reach for it he felt the earth below his feet shake. He lost his balance and with a slight wave of panic he reached out to the tree next to him and clung to it with dear life.

Rain exploded into the sky the mist hitting his face before it turned on him pricking at his skin. The only evidence of it was the wetness of his clothes and the slight red marks of it on his arms. As he watched it penetrate his clothes he felt his body come back into him.

He no longer felt numb.

He let go of the tree and wandered out into the clearing challenging the rain to drown him. He knew it wasn't possible the echo of his breathing told him as much. The life that he had planned only hours before had vanished faster than he could say happily ever after and a part of him was in mourning of it.

He knew Haley loved him it wasn't doubt that made him heavy.

She hadn't lied about that she had just changed her mind.

He couldn't blame Luke. He wanted to but in the end he knew how he felt and how he felt wouldn't change because of Luke. It was something between them. Luke's questions had just brought it to the surface.

The vision of Haley turning to him with her deep eyes played before him. Her eyes held a story that he could read but not understand. He hadn't given her a chance to explain either. He had left to quickly; he needed to leave to escape for a moment. The room was suffocating him with the fog of live tension.

Luke and Peyton were watching him so closely that he couldn't say the things he wanted to, he couldn't let her explain because he didn't want to be vulnerable in front of them.

So here he was...

Only a few minutes walk from the house, if he shifted to his right he could see the cottage sitting beautifully even in the rain. The sound of Peyton's car backing up onto the main road propelled him forward.

He needed to see Haley.

A blur of images and sounds vibrated inside of his chest as he made his way to the front door. Silence greeted him as the door opened the house before him.

Fear engulfed him at the realization that maybe Haley had left. Maybe she had gone with Peyton and Luke afraid that he was to mad to see her. He would have understood but a slight ruffle in the air made him look down the hallway.

She looked so small as she made her way down the dark hallway towards him. It broke him into pieces as he took in the slight shake of her hands and the rimmed halo of her eyes.

The only word that came between them was his name slipping from her lips as she tried to hold back the tears. He brushed her hair back from her eyes so she could look into his and see that there was no hate or sadness but just a mix of confusion and hurt.

She fit into his arms as easily as she always had and once again he felt a little closer to wholeness. He knew he was drenched in rain but that didn't seem to bother Haley.

He felt slight warmth from her hot tears that escaped her eyes seep through his shirt to his chest causing him to pull her away so he could brush them away from her cheeks.

She gave him a slight smile as she found his hand and entwined it with hers and led him back down the hallway and into the back room. She set him at the end of the bed before she went to the drawers opposite them looking for a dry shirt.

Nathan watched her for a moment; he could still read her even though there was no doubt a little distance between them. The slump of her shoulders and heaviness in her steps told him that she was hurting just as much as he was. She turned back to him her smile not quite reaching her eyes. She handed him the shirt and sat next to him as he took off his wet one.

Before he could put the new one on Haley broke the awkward silence. 'I love you Nathan.'

He didn't know what he expected her to say, he looked down at her hand that slightly brushed against his letting it slide into his so their hands were palm to palm.

'I know you do Hales.. and I guess that's why I don't understand.' The echo of her sob caught in her throat made him turn his head back to face her. The way her small hand pressed her lips together to keep it in showed him how much she was holding back.

He didn't want that they would get no where if they refused to face the events that had happened. But he also knew that so much laid between them so much heartache had to be revealed. He didn't know where they would end up after it all.

He just hoped it was together.

He stood up from the bed determined to put some distance between them so they could work things out. Every single touch of her hands or breath against his bare skin pushed at the wall he had around him, the wall that needed answers but he would tear it down if she asked him to.

He leaned on the glass doors of the balcony feeling the cold of the new rain seep through its panes. She still sat on the bed her hand upturned where he had left it. He could still feel its heat alive in his hands.

'Why did you say Yes Haley?' It was the question that had been on repeat in his mind.

She slid off the bed taking a few steps towards him. He came to her half way he wanted to reach out to her but he needed answers.

Her hand skimmed his arm it was light against him, 'Because I would never say no if you asked me. If you asked me again right here Nathan I would still say yes.'

Nathan shook his head but was stopped by the dance of her fingers along his chin. He looked down into her brown eyes, the realization that he never wanted to or needed to look anywhere else enveloping him.

'All of the thousands of times that I have fantasized about you asking me that very question I always said yes. A part of me believed that saying yes would make it all work out.'

Her fingers wrapped themselves around his wrist pulling his arm around her waist so she was closer to him. 'But that's not reality Nathan. We are going to have defend ourselves to everyone we know. Look at the way Luke took it.'

'Haley what he feels doesn't matter to me and it shouldn't to you. Its us-' Nathan wanted to make her understand that all he needed was her.

'I know you believe that Nathan and I wish that were true. But think about it having to prove day in and day out to everyone we know how much we love each other. Am just afraid-'

He could see it in her eyes the fear she held, he brushed her hair back from her face and tightened his grasp on her waist. He wanted her to feel like he could protect her from everything.

'I am just afraid that one day you will look at me and wonder if we should have waited.' She buried her head in his chest as the smallest words vibrated against his heart. 'That would destroy me Nathan.'

He encircled her in his arms pulling her a little off the ground as he tried to make the moment theirs. 'That would never happen Haley. Don't you know how much I love you? Cant you feel it when I look at you?'

He set her feet on the ground before him not letting her completely go. 'I know Nathan..but'

'There isn't a but Haley that's the way it is.'

He bent down to kiss her lips but was thrown off balance as she stepped out of his embrace. He breathed out the frustration that continued to mount inside of him with every obstacle Haley put between them.

'Nathan that isn't the half of it.' A slight edge in her voice bringing back the reality of the situation, Nathan wanted happily ever after and what if she couldn't give that to him. She knew sometimes he didn't see past what he wanted. He wanted a life with her and she wanted to give him that, she wanted that but he had been through so much with his parents that she was afraid that every time they had an argument he would see it as if she was not in love with him. She just needed him to understand.

'Haley, why are you making it so hard?' He watched as she rolled back onto the balls of her feet her arms wrapping themselves around her waist before she looked up at him.

'It is hard Nathan, right now between us and we aren't even married.' She walked towards the window letting the brief appearance of the sun warm her before turning back to look at him.

'Marriage is a big deal, we will have bills, rent and silly arguments over shoes in the hallway.'

She felt she could go on because the way Nathan was looking at her told him that he was listening, that's all she really wanted. She wanted him to understand the doubt wasn't over their love but just the realization that there will be trials that they would have to face.

'There will be sacrifices Nathan over big and little things. I can't tell you exactly what but they will come and I need you to know that. I need to know that when I get upset with you or argue with you its not because I don't love you. Baby it's because I love you so much that I am fighting for us.'

'Haley-'she backed away from him not failing to realize that that was the last thing he wanted. She wanted to be in his arms as well but they needed to do this and right now she had the strength.

'I just love you so much Nathan and-'

His look made her words come to an abrupt stop. He wasn't mad his eyes just told her it was her turn to listen. He went and stood next to her so they both were looking out the window panes, the battle of the sun and rain lighting up the sky.

'I know Haley, I know you love me and I love you.' He felt her lean into his side, he threw his arm around her shoulders bringing her as close to him as possible.

'I know there will be struggles my parents are a perfect example of what can go wrong. But what I do know.. 'He turned Haley in his arms so she was facing him. 'I know they aren't us, we won't be them. We wont run from each other and I love you too much to hurt you the way my father has hurt my mom, that you can count on.'

He leaned into the caresses that her hands offered as they brushed his face. He kissed her palm letting the words slip out of his mouth and into her skin. 'I guess am being selfish because you are the first real thing in my life and I don't want to let you go.'

Haley laughed and Nathan kissed her lips, 'Every time I hear you laugh, I feel happy. When you cry I want to turn the world inside out until you smile again. I've never felt like that about anyone in my life.'

She pulled on his arms so she could steady herself as she balanced herself on her tip toes as she poured kisses onto the valley of his neck.

'Hales you make me feel so much, I've never felt so much in my life.' His arms around her waist set her safely on the floor before him; he smiled at the slight pout that graced Haley's lips. He gave them a chaste kiss, 'Asking you to marry me was the scariest and most exciting thing I've ever done in my life.'

'Nathan-'He could hear the uncertainty in her voice and he placed a small kiss on her forehead to push the thought away from her mind.

'I just don't want you to think that one day I will change my mind, I am so lucky to have you in my life. I ask myself everyday how I ever got so lucky. Because I know I don't deserve you.'

The smile that spread across Haley's lips reached her eyes that flooded over in tears. She leaned into him kissing his bare chest just right above his heart, her fingers sliding up his arms and locking behind his neck.

She locked eyes with him watching him closely as he leaned down to kiss her. She bent her body back knowing she was safe in his arms. 'I don't deserve you Hales'

'You do, baby.. you do.' Nathan pulled her tighter into his embrace supporting her as she jumped into his arms so her legs could wrap around his waist.

He moved towards the bed as his mouth found the softness of her lips. He could hear the storm crackle outside but the only thing he could feel was Haley in his arms. Her small body a perfect fit with his own. He felt the world come alive in his veins as hot kisses graced his skin and tiny hands called to him.

He laid her back on the bed hovering above her for a moment, 'I will love you forever Haley'

He kissed her lips at the same time his hands unbuttoned her shirt and slid it off her body. He looked into her eyes before he placed a small kiss on her heart causing her to arch into him.

'I will love you forever Nathan.'

Brooke turned off her cell phone, Jake had called twice and she felt bad for just leaving so abruptly after school.

She just didn't know what she would say. Lunch had been awful, he had kept trying to hold a conversation with her and she was a million miles away. Well she was actually looking for a way to escape from him. What Teresa said to her had opened a Pandora's Box of insecurities.

She couldn't eat in front of him, she felt weird when she smiled, and she kept questioning the looks he gave her. She started to question herself, could she do the girlfriend thing or be a substitute mommy.

Hell the only relationship she had ever really been with had ended up with him leaving her for her best friend. Maybe she wasn't cut out for this. Maybe Jake would realize that and dump her before she even got the chance to prove him wrong.

Brooke had been driving around for the last few hours, afraid to go home in case Jake happened to be waiting for her. She had passed by the café a few times and a part of her wanted to go in, maybe even talk to Karen, she had been really nice to her when she was dating Luke.

But she wasn't dating Luke anymore. Haley wasn't answering her cell phone and she still wasn't talking to Peyton. She had no one to talk to.

Brooke was shocked to find her car pulling into a very familiar driveway. She hadn't even realized that she was pulling in till she had safely maneuvered the car into the space.

Her subconscious had brought her here and right now Brooke had to take that to mean something.

She opened her car door, taking a deep breath before she ventured out into the rain. She pulled her skirt up not caring that her $300 heels were getting soaked.

When she made it to the porch she took a moment to fix her shirt and skirt also noticing that the porch pretty much looked the same since the last time she was here even though things had changed so much between them.

She almost turned around but at the last minute and against the nervousness playing in her head she knocked on the door.

It seemed like an eternity before the door opened, 'Brooke?'

She brushed her wet hair behind her ears before looking up, 'Hey Luke… Can I come in?'

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The crackle of the lightening highlighted the midnight coloured sky ricocheting off the window panes and casting a glow on the couple. Their breathing revealing the position of their arms and legs twisted up inside a sea of white blankets.

Haley pushed the sheet from her chest down to her waist so that when she snuggled further into Nathan's side her skin would be flush with his. Sometimes she felt like she could never be close enough to him, the overwhelment of his presence was something she craved. Her fingertips, her lips, the tender spot between her shoulder and neck, her heart all wanted his touch that it no longer was a question of want but of need.

That's why when Nathan had been gone for what seemed like an eternity and in reality was only an hour she had felt like she was disappearing. So much of who she had become was interlaced in her love for Nathan.

He was her life, her dreams, her reason and at one time that had scared her. That who she was would be nothing without him but that was so far from the truth. She had learned that she was Haley and she could cope, she did for those months that he was gone but she wasn't the same. Because with him life tasted a little sweeter, the world smelled like roses and she was happy not just content. He was her ONE there was no doubt in her mind.

A shiver of heat slid up her arm as she felt his fingers caress her skin as he pulled her closer. Her small hand placed itself lightly on his stomach. She smiled lazily as she heard Nathan moan sparking a small fire under her closed eyelids. She knew her touch excited him just as his did her.

She continued to slide her hand up his smooth torso settling in the valley of his chest. She twirled designs with her fingers over the sensitive skin that lay above his heart.

Haley moved her head back and to the right to see if Nathan had opened his eyes but she found his usual hard edged face relaxed in slumber. He seemed so young almost childlike when he slept. It was the one time he didn't have some sort of guard up; he was able to dream and breathe without any inhibitions.

When he had spent the night with her for the very first time after he had collapsed in the gym she had noticed that his forehead revealed battle scars that he kept so well hidden during the day. Over the course of the year the scars began to smooth themselves out and Haley hoped she had helped with that in a small way. She placed a light kiss on his chin before her eyes once again settled on the small dip on his perfect chest.

She remembered when she had first felt it. She hadn't even known it was there for the longest time because it wasn't something you could really see. Now that she had loved him for so long and after much exploration of his perfect body she knew for a fact he had no faults.

She knew his chest was hard and soft at the same time, that it protected and comforted her, she never felt more at home then when she was his arms. She also knew that he had a big heart one full of hopes, dreams and love for her. It was a strong heart the dents of his chest revealed how much he had been through.

How much verbal and physical pressure from his father and neglect from his mother did it take for the small dents to appear? Just the thought of it made anger and sadness pump through her heart for him.

Haley scooted farther up on Nathan's body as she tried to lean over him to place a small kiss on his heart. The moment her lips settled on his skin Nathan's arm snaked around her waist causing Haley to give a slight yelp as he turned her over on her back.

The smirk on his mouth caused Haley to laugh out loud. 'How long have you been awake?'

He slid his leg in-between hers, 'Long enough to feel your breasts slide over my chest,' He pressed a small kiss between the curves of her breasts, 'also known as my favorite way to be waken up.'

Haley arched her back and ran her fingers along Nathan's back and neck as he lavished her neck in kisses. The heat borne between them was reprieved as Nathan threw the blanket completely off the bed, leaving Haley only cold for a moment before his body enveloped her.

His hand slid up her thigh moving her leg around his waist. Haley felt a surge of passion ignite in her toes and slither all the way up her body.

The lightening lit the room for a heart beat causing Haley to coil only relaxing when Nathan's other hand caressed her other leg and placed it around him so her feet could hook around his back. Her hands slipped around his neck as he pulled her with him so she was sitting in his lap.

His hands on her back, hers running along the back of his neck, kisses on cheeks, along necks their breath spinning the world between them. Nothing had ever felt so right.

Haley's eyes were closed it was too dark to see anything and she already knew this dance so well that there was really no need.

She trusted Nathan; she loved him with every single part of herself.

She leaned into him closing the small heart shaped gap between their bodies, her mouth slid along the bottom of his ear, 'I could stay like this forever.'

His hands found hers that were sweetly wrapped around his back. He pulled her small hands in between them feeling her watch him as he kissed each palm. When he looked up to her to meet her eyes the look he gave her made her heart skip. It still amazed her how after all this time, after how many times he had looked at her or kissed her or made love to her that he could still spark such passion, such excitement.

She reached for him as she felt him start to slip out of the embrace of her legs. 'Nathan-'

He didn't look back at her as he maneuvered himself to the side of the bed leaning over the night table.

The crack of the sky pounding with rain distracted Haley, outside the heavens were battling but inside this room heaven had been born again.

Nathan's arms circled her waist from behind; she leaned back into him letting his body swallow her in his hold. She watched the glow of the lightening crash on their hands, his fingers that were interlaced with hers were so defined, a little rough from hours of playing basketball but so gentle in the caresses he showered her with.

He moved his hands so his palms cupped the back of her hands bringing them to her chest and gliding their intertwined hands up her neck so her body twisted around to face him.

She erupted in giggles at the flurry of kisses he placed on her face as she curled into his lap. Her fingers drifted up his neck tugging on his ears to pull him closer to her. His big hands covered hers and Haley could feel herself losing her balance.

They had an ocean of a bed to make their own but Haley wanted to be as close to Nathan as possible. She hooked her ankles behind him to hold her steady in his lap. He kissed her nose before once again bringing her hands with his in between them.

Silence rolled into the room only the hum of their in sync breathing with the beat of their hearts echoing around them.

Nathan's eyes settled on the brown ones before him and all he could see was his future. The happily ever after he never thought he would have playing in her eyes.

He took her small hand in his placing a small kiss on the top of it before looking at Haley again.

'I Nathan Scott, take you Haley James,' his throat constricted as he saw a glimmer of tears coat her eyelashes.

'I promise to love you with every breath I take, with every single beat of my heart…' She looked beautiful as tears slid down her cheeks, he took a moment to kiss them away never letting go of her hand, 'I never thought my life could be so full, of love, of hope and it's only because of your faith in me, in us that life is worth living. Baby, Haley I promise you my eternity because in the end you're all that matters to me… '

Haley pulled Nathan towards her, kissing his lips but she knew she would never be able to show him how much he meant to her.

He pulled away from her revealing a small gold band, when she looked at it closer on the inside of it read, 'My heart is yours...Nothing else matters' She couldn't stop the tears that fell from her eyes in her life she had never felt so complete as she did at this moment.

'Wear this as sign of my promise to you. My promise, that from this moment on I will live my life no longer as one because baby forever with you starts today.'

'Nathan I love you so much-'The words fell from her lips with a mix of amazement and pure love laced in it. He quieted her with his lips, his hands getting lost in her hair. Only pulling away when they needed to catch her breath.

'Where did you get the ring?' Haley laid her hand on Nathan's chest admiring the simple beauty of it.

'When I thought we were planning a wedding I went out and found us rings, you were asleep and I wanted to surprise you.' He couldn't stop touching Haley, her thighs, her arms, her neck; she was the only one who could make him feel this way.

'You did surprise me. It was the most beautiful surprise,' Haley felt herself getting lost in the attention Nathan was bestowing on her, 'Wait… rings... Where's your ring?'

Nathan reached inside the night table and pulled out a similar ring to hers the only difference was that it was much bigger in size.

She kissed Nathan's palm before placing it on her naked skin above her heart. She tried to hold back the tears that she could feel swimming inside of her.

'I Haley James, take you Nathan Scott...' It felt as if heart was going to explode within in her and for the first time Haley James just couldn't find the words that would tell Nathan how he had influenced her life, how he loved her like no one else could and how happy and loved he made her feel.

'I Haley James... I thought I had life figured out. I had it all planned out, I would graduate as valedictorian, get a full scholarship to whatever school I wished and I would become a doctor. This was the plan since before I could remember and I didn't see anything wrong with it. Then you came into my life and I tried to push you away...' Haley laughed at the small smile of agreement that passed Nathan's lips.

'But I couldn't push away the way you made me feel and after much denial I realized that I didn't want to. You showed me that there was more to life than books and good grades. You made me realize that I was hiding because I was afraid to open my heart at the risk of it being broken. I am so lucky that you found me and loved me, I could never want for anything else as long as I have you.'

Haley brushed her hair behind her ear so Nathan could see her words in her eyes. 'Babe we've had our ups and downs but I wouldn't trade any of it because through it all I've only loved you more. It led us to the place our hearts are today...'

Haley brushed her tears aside as she took Nathan's hand off of her heart kissing it before she started to glide the gold band onto his finger.

'Wear this as sign of my promise to you. My promise, that from this moment on I will live my life no longer as one because forever with you starts today.'

Nathan took a moment to look at the gold band on his finger amazed at how heavy it didn't feel even though it was a sign of Haley's heart that he would have with him where ever he would go.

He looked down to find Haley looking back at him happiness alive in her eyes. She slid back into his lap so his arm could wrap around her waist, he nuzzled his face into her hair only raising his head when he felt her hand in his.

She twirled their hands together making them dance before them the gold bands clanking together making the music that Nathan would live his life by.

They weren't in a church, there were no witness, no priest to bless them or make what had happened between them official. But in every sense of the word Haley and Nathan had become husband and wife. In their hearts and in their lives they had become one and nothing else mattered.


	17. Carry On Another Way

A/N : I just reuploaded this because the page breaks didnt show up and I know how confusing that can be!

Brooke could almost feel the memories swallow her as she entered the familiar house. The yellow walls adorned with various family pictures, the soft light of the small lamps that illuminated the living room, it all took her back in time. She remembered how she had thought that this home looked lived in and hers looked like a museum. The flush of amazement that she felt swim inside her told her that it still seemed that way.

As she walked farther into the foyer she could see that there had been some slight changes. The same could be said for Luke. She really hadn't looked at him or acknowledged him in the past few months since their disastrous break up, a part of her was still hurt from his betrayal.

She had been struggling to get over the feeling of despair that had made her sink into a black hole. She had even believed the sun wouldn't rise or that she would just stop breathing because the hurt had been so life shattering, but the emptiness, that unworthiness she had one point of her life succumbed too had fallen away a long time ago. It wasn't easy especially when the way you felt had been caused by the two people that you trusted above everyone else.

That's why now with Jake she was a bit shaken. She knew that a part of her wanted to risk her heart again but fear was quickly starting to suffocate her. The only thing she thought that could possibly help her was actually facing her fear by going to talk to Luke.

To see where she had gone wrong, she had come to the conclusion that it had been her fault.

'Do you want to sit down' Luke motioned to the couch but Brooke shook her head and headed straight to the kitchen table. Compared to the couch the dining room held a lot less memories and for some reason Brooke couldn't go there.

Luke pulled out the wooden chair and slowly sat down waiting for her to say something.

She looked at Luke realizing that she really didn't know where to start. 'You weren't on your way somewhere were you' noticing for the first time that he had his jacket on.

Luke awkwardly pulled on the zipper of his jacket, 'No, I just got in.' the sound of his phone ringing made Brooke blink. She nodded at him to go ahead and answer it. Even though he lowered his voice Brooke knew who was on the other side of the phone. It didn't hurt her it just reminded her that she didn't speak to Peyton anymore.

Like she could forget.

For many weeks she had cast blame on Peyton and Luke.

She had even gone as far as to tear their pictures from her walls. She didn't want them in any part of her life. But that didn't matter the memories lived in her.

Practically every happy memory of her childhood Peyton had been a part of. When Brooke's parents didn't make it home from Aspen in time for her 10th birthday Peyton had surprised her with a cake and somehow the two of them eating cake, playing dress up with Brookes mom's expensive dresses turned into one of the best birthdays she had ever had.

They had always been there for each other because early in life they had understood each other. The death of Peyton's mother and her father's absence, Brooke's parent's constant neglect somehow had bonded them. They had become inseparable and Brooke had been so sure of their friendship that she never thought that anything or anyone could ever come between them.

But here she was sitting in front of the person who had taken away the only family she really had ever known. She wanted to hate him; to blame him but a part of her knew that she should have seen it coming.

Brooke knew Peyton better than anyone and although Peyton had said she felt nothing for Luke, as her best friend Brooke should have been able to see right through that lie. But Brooke had to face the truth; it had always been there between them. It's just that she didn't want to see it.

Why? Because Brooke had never met anyone like Luke before. He was different from the regular jock crowd. He had morals; he wasn't an ass like Nathan…used to be. When you spoke to him he didn't automatically look at your breasts. She had tested him by showing up in his car naked but he had been a gentlemen. Brooke was bored then, the same thing was happening every weekend and here Luke stumbled into her line of vision. He was a challenge and Brooke was always ready for that. She didn't think he would be such a big part of her life. She didn't know that she would fall in love with him.

The crazy thing was she had thought that somewhere along the way Luke had fallen in love with her to. How could she have ever been so wrong? She had opened her heart up to him; let him see the most vulnerable parts of her soul and just like that he had stomped on it.

He made her question herself and it made her mad that she could feel so insecure. Before Lucas Scott, Brooke Davis had been a person that didn't care what others thought. She did what she wanted and now that she wanted to open her life to Jake she realized that maybe she had never been as secure as she believed.

The sound of the phone being set on the table was Brooke's cue to start the conversation she had been avoiding for months.

'I don't really know how to say what I want to, if that makes any sense' Brooke felt comforted by the small smile Luke sent her.

'Yeah it does Brooke…before you say anything I just want you to know that am glad you came over. I don't like the way things have been between us.' He reached for her hand but she pulled it into her lap before he could make contact.

'I don't either' and the weird thing was that she meant it. She took a quick glance at the door visualizing how easy it would be to actually walk out but she knew she needed to do this now or she never would.

'I guess I came over because I just want to know what went wrong.' She didn't think it would be this hard to say but the words were like rocks being pushed out of her.

'What did I do wrong?' She couldn't even look at him.

She felt his hand tug on her shoulder but she fought him, she couldn't look at him until she was sure that the tears wouldn't fall. She didn't even know why she was crying. She was over him, them. She hadn't spoken to either of them out of principle and anger but now she realized that it wasn't the hurt, it was the sense of loss.

She had lost her best friend and her first love, how easy it was for them to just let her go and yet she still couldn't.

'It wasn't you Brooke' she almost wanted to throw up at his words. She wouldn't digest any of this sickly sweet sugar coated pity. She maybe on the verge of tears but she didn't want to be coddled, because that would be the biggest insult.

'Am sorry Luke, my boyfriend and my best friend…. what's the common link? Me… tell me again that none of it was about me!'

He shook his head in frustration and for some reason that made her feel better. 'Luke I just need you to be honest with me. Why was it so easy for you to …? I just need to move on.'

'It looks like you have moved on.' Lucas spit out and the tone of his words just lit a fire in her.

'What do you mean by that?'

'It's been months Brooke since you have talked to us; you've kicked us both out of your lives. You haven't even given us a chance to apologize... but somehow you have never seemed happier.'

Brooke couldn't even get two words together. She was caught off guard by his accusatory tone. She brushed her hair from her face letting him see past the mask she always had on around him.

'Well then you don't know me at all. I am not ok... Is that what you want to hear, do you want to see tears... would you believe then that I was incredibly hurt that my best friend and the boy I was in love with so easily went behind my back. Because Luke you tossed me out of your life first.'

Luke couldn't look at her and if he did he would see that she wasn't crying that a sense of eerie calm had settled with in her because for the first time she was actually able to say this all out loud.

Moments passed with the tick of the kitchen clock and he still hadn't looked at her. Brooke thought about heading for the door but she wanted to wait to give this conversation a chance, so that the tension between them would somehow be less suffocating and neutral.

'We shouldn't have…… I shouldn't have-'

'Shouldn't have what Luke, shouldn't have cheated on me, gone out with me, tell me you loved me?'

She couldn't hold it back anymore the wall she had spent months building broke with her words. She was letting it all go, the heavy weight of blame, of hurt and the words that had kept her running for months and finally throwing them out there in the open.

Even if he never answered it had felt good to let it all out. The weight in her chest finally lifted.

'I shouldn't have cheated Brooke, it was the worst thing I could possibly do to a person and am sorry,' he looked straight at her 'When I told you that I loved you I meant it.'

His hand found hers on top of the table and she didn't stop him from interlocking their fingers. 'I did love you but am sorry it wasn't the way you needed.'

She wanted to hate him, to push him away but she was tired of feeling obligated to have those feelings. Also she knew what he was saying was true. What they had was love but not the kind that lasted forever. He had been apart of her life, he had been the first guy she had opened her heart to; he had been the first one to break it. They had both made mistakes.

'Am sorry I hurt you Brooke, I really didn't mean to.' It almost felt like it was many months ago, she could almost see him on her doorstep, his hand in his pocket and guilt outlining his eyes. She had been in a million pieces all of them carved from hurt. As Brooke looked back on that moment now she knew she had come along way because this time when he said he was sorry she actually believed it.

'I know' Before Brooke could walk out the back door she felt Luke's hand on her shoulder.

'Are we ok?'

She smiled at him, 'We will be.'

She knew now that in matters of the heart it was all a risk. You had to be strong enough to handle the possibility of pain she hadn't been back then. Now she knew she was and even if she wasn't she didn't want to close her heart off from something that had the potential to be something great.

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Haley's fingers slid up Nathan's arm stopping at his bicep, she leaned into the curve of his body so she could kiss the spot her hand had just brushed over. He felt warm under her lips and instinctively she snuggled farther into his chest, sighing as she felt his arm wrap around her waist.

She really could live in this moment forever. This is what happiness felt like; it traveled inside of you tingling from your toes all the way to your fingertips. Your heart beat a little faster and everything tasted good, like honey. She brushed her fingers along his lips admiring the curve and silkiness of them.

'How long have you been awake?' Haley giggled as Nathan rolled lightly on top of her. He placed small kisses on her mouth before he bit at the soft spot of her neck making her toes curl.

The sensations running through her made her voice come out in a throaty growl. 'Awhile… I just couldn't sleep.'

Her hands massaged the planes of his shoulders finally settling on the small of his back. Nathan pulled away from her to look into her eyes a curious expression on his face.

'Baby you can not tell me your not tired..' his hands found her hips pausing for a moment before sliding up her ribcage stopping at the curve of her breasts, causing Haley to purr as his thumb teased her nipples, 'you should be ex-hauuu-sted' Haley bit at her lip to keep the giggle that racked inside of her from echoing in the room as a scream.

He knew just where to apply pressure on her body and she loved him for it. He slid his arms behind her and scooped her up into his arms so that only her butt and legs lay flush against the bed. She laughed as his lips once again connected with her neck; she closed her eyes and begged for time to just stand still.

The chime of the clock caused Haley to jump in his arms and before she even saw the smile on his face she knew it would be there. 'Hales... No need to be afraid of the clock. I will protect you!'

Haley pushed at his chest, rolling out of his arms trying to act hurt at his comment but she couldn't help but laugh. The grin quickly died as she read the time out loud, 'Its 9am..'

There was no denying it, the sun was streaming through the window panes, and she closed her eyes hoping that when she opened them the storm would once again be clouding the night sky.

Nathan scooted in behind her pulling her small body to his frame. 'Awe baby I knew you were tired, did you get any sleep at all?'

She opened her eyes and the sun mocked her. 'I didn't want to waste any time by sleeping. We have such little time together.' He tugged at her shoulder causing her eyes to come into contact with his and there was no denying the confusion that sat in the blue ocean of his eyes.

'What are you talking about, Hales?' She took his hand in hers and pulled him with her as she turned her body towards the over bearing sun.

'It a new day and we can't hide out here anymore. We have to face the sun.'

Nathan's leg lightly came over her waist and as he straddled her he threw a blanket over their heads bringing it down around them blocking out any view of the room.

'What sun Haley…. Are you mad woman its still night time. Cant you hear the storm outside?'

She pulled at his waist laughing with him as he pulled the blanket further down around them. She kissed his chest, his hands combed her hair and he fell into the bed next to her. He pulled her to him intertwining their legs and their breaths making the blanket pillow around them.

'We will be okay, wont we Nathan?'

'Of course my love, you and I forever… nothing, no one can change that.'

Haley smiled into his shoulder, 'Then I can face the sun as long as I have you.'

Haley watched as Nathan's hands pulled the blanket from their faces. Her breath caught in her throat when for a split second when the sun caught the gold of the band around his finger. Nothing had ever looked so beautiful.

'There the sun inst that scary.' He reached for her hand, kissingher palm before placing it back on his chest over his heart. 'We should head back.'

The mattress shifted as Nathan moved on the bed his legs swinging over the side. Haley crawled out of the sheet and onto her knees behind Nathan's back. She circled her arms around his body pulling him up against her chest, 'We don't have to head back for another hour do we?'

Before Haley's laugh could pass through her lips Nathan was climbing on top of her overtaking her mouth with his.

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Peyton sat on a small bench in the front of the school watching various students get out of their cars, laughing, sending text messages and she found herself looking for Haley, which she knew most likely wouldn't be back yet but there was no sign of Luke anywhere either. She even caught herself trying to find Brooke in the masses but she was no where in sight, not like it would matter if she was.

Peyton felt a little out of place just sitting there with her sketch pad on her lap. She knew she didn't come off as the most approachable person but she didn't bite either. But it was really up to her if she wanted to find some company.

She could easily go say hi to the cheerleaders that seemed to all gravitate to each other by the big rock but Peyton felt like she had to have some sort of game face on when she was around them and she really wasn't up to the usual fakeness that surrounded that bunch.

She could go talk to Mike who ran the school radio station and sometimes helped out at the club but she knew how that would end up. He would comment on her Led Zeppelin shirt trying to prove he knew more about music than she did. It wasn't true she knew that and so did he and it was just silly how threatened he was by that.

'Am sorry I didn't call you back last night.' Peyton was caught a little off guard by the Starbucks coffee cup in front of her face.

She looked up to find Luke looking down at her. 'Peace offering,' she took the cup he offered her and smiled at him.

She took a sip... ooh caramel macchiato, 'You are so forgiven.'

Luke sat next to her laughing and trying to steady his own hot cup of coffee, 'Really is it that easy, I'll remember that for next time.'

Peyton took a sip before she hit his shoulder, 'Are you saying that am easy?'

Luke's hand grazed her exposed knee before leaning in to give her a small kiss on cheek. 'That's not what I meant.'

Peyton barley heard what he said she was too busy looking around to see if anyone noticed how affectionate he was being. A part of her wanted to pull away from him but she knew that would hurt Luke and what he thought was more important than what the rest of the student body thought.

She reached for his hand on her knee and intertwined their fingers. She didn't need to look at Luke to see the smile on his face because she was almost positive she had the same one on her face.

'I missed you' Peyton rolled her eyes at him, 'Luke I saw you practically 24 hrs straight for the last few days.

He turned her hand in his and kissed her palm. 'I know but that was all about Haley and Nathan. It wasn't exactly quality time for us.'

Peyton nodded her head in agreement. The last few days had been trying and now that she looked at Luke she could see the worry still in his eyes.

'Have you heard from them?' Luke nodded his head still transfixed on the lines of her hands. 'Yeah Nathan called a little while ago, he said they were coming back today.'

'Well that's good.' She had expected Luke to seem a little more relieved by that but she knew what was bothering him. 'Did you talk to Haley?'

Luke sent her a tight smile, 'No'

She squeezed his hand, 'Luke she was scared that she had lost Nathan when she yelled at you. I know that everything will be ok.'

Somehow when Peyton said that Luke believed her, 'Have I told you how grateful I am for you? You've been by my side Peyton helping me even at my worst. I can't thank you enough.'

She leaned in and placed a small kiss on his lips. Looking into his eyes oblivious to the sound of the school bell or the students rushing passed them on their way to class.

'You don't have to thank me Luke, am here for you.' She felt his arm slide around her neck pulling her mouth onto his again and Peyton closed her eyes wishing that every morning could start like this.

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Brooke sat in her car watching as the students scurried past her in a hurry to make it to class. She turned down her radio, threw some extra pencils into her handbag and just sat back in the driver's seat. She wasn't in any hurry.

The sound of her cell phone startled her. She reached for it and sighed as the name appeared across it **–Jake-** he had called already once this morning and she still hadn't returned his messages from last night.

She didn't know what to say and what she knew she should say just couldn't be done over the phone. She had replayed his messages more times than she could count just so she could hear his voice and it saddened her to hear the sadness interlaced in his few words.

Before she let herself think she answered the phone. 'Hi Jake' it sounded sad to her own ears.

'Hi, I wasn't sure if you would answer.' She couldn't tell him that she wasn't sure why she did.

'You look beautiful today' Looking to her passenger side she saw him looking back at her and a smile she didn't even know she had in her bloomed on her lips.

'Hey' the small wave he gave her somehow wiped away a lot of the nervousness she had brewing inside of her for the last few days away.

'Hi' Brooke laughed as she realized she still had the phone to her ear. She closed her phone and unlocked the door. He opened the car door sliding her handbag onto his lap and Brooke help but think how adorable he really was.

Jake's genuine smile and small 'Hi' sparked an energetic hum between them. The sound of the second bell startled Brooke and caused her to come back to reality. A reality in which she was in the school parking lot with a cute boy, a boy that she genuinely liked and that liked her. It made her realize how foolish she was being hiding out from him when in reality that was the last thing she wanted to do.

Brooke looked back at Jake and she realized he had been staring at her the whole time and she tried to stop the blush that she could feel swiftly climb up from her knees.

She couldn't believe that in the few seconds that she was back in his presence that he could have this effect on her. Maybe that was what she was scared of the fact that he had this power of her.

Refusing to let him have all the fun Brooke turned the key in the ignition. 'Do you want to get out of here?' Not waiting for him to answer Brooke pulled out of the parking spot. He still hadn't said anything when they pulled out into the main road.

She couldn't help herself she needed to see the expression on his face. A quick look at him made her heart flutter.

He was looking at her with complete trust. It amazed her and she envied him. She wanted to look at him like that and she believed that one day she would be able to, with his help.

They had a lot to talk about but that dread, that awkwardness she expected to feel around him was nowhere within her.

A red light made her stop the car leaving her time to turn to him. She brushed her hand across his forehead, 'I am sorry.'

He looked at her surprised even though he shouldn't be, 'For what?'

She kissed his cheek and she felt him lean into her touch, 'For a lot of things….'

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The houses that lined the street were a mixture of blue and white and the way Nathan was driving it blurred them all together making it seem as if it was just one large house.

Haley adjusted her seat belt so it was a little looser to give her room to cuddle into Nathan's side. 'Slow down baby, I don't want to get there any faster than we have to.'

Haley tried to hide the emotion in her voice but she knew it was pointless. Nathan knew her, he knew every inflection, every sigh, how the words that rolled from her mouth were layered, she couldn't hide it from him. She wished she could though she knew he was worried about the future that lay before them.

The way his eyes stayed focused on the road ahead of them with such intensity made it seemed as if that he was trying to see more than the cars before him.

Haley rubbed her hand over his chest in an effort to calm the nerves she could feel crack beneath his skin. His arm went around her shoulders and instantly his heart beat shifted into a steady rhythm beneath her fingers. He gave her a quick kiss on her temple and Haley closed her eyes at the contact.

She ran her fingers along his collar bone pausing when her hand came into contact with a slightly cold object. She trailed her fingers down along it until she found what she was looking for. At the end of the chain the smooth gold wedding ring laid against Nathan's chest.

When she had been getting ready she had found the two gold chains that her grandmother Elise had given her on her 14th birthday in her pocket. She had been wearing them as bracelets when she had been caught in the rain.

Ever since she had received them they had always been within reach of Haley especially since her grandmother, Nani Elise had passed away 3 years ago, two days after Haley's 14th birthday.

Haley and her Nani had been quite close. In fact most of her siblings were a little jealous of the close bond they shared. It was quiet obvious that her Nani doted on her but she loved all of her grandchildren. Haley was the baby of the family and she happened to be the exact replica of her great grandmother Christina, Nani's mother.

Haley used to go over to her house after school almost every day. Her house was always too loud and she had nowhere to study or even think especially at that time she still had to share a room with Taylor and Quinn.

She loved going to her Nani's after school sitting at the kitchen table while her Nani tried out new recipes, singing and humming songs from her favorite Broadway musicals. Haley loved to listen to her; her voice was something you couldn't describe, just the way it seemed to come from the deepest recess of her soul.

Nani was the one that nurtured Haley's voice. She had been a voice teacher for 40 years working from a small studio off of the living room. She never pressured Haley to sing but she would help Haley when she asked.

Haley would spend hours there singing, cooking, doing homework but what she loved most was the stories she would tell her about her grandfather Kevin. He had passed away before Haley was born. From the stories her Nani told of him he seemed like a great man. It always amazed Haley how after so many years after his death that a spark would still ignite in her eyes when she spoke of him.

She told Haley that when you fall in love with the right person, the one that makes you want to be a better person, that finally makes you understand what life is all about then that love never dies, even if the person does.

What Nani had meant then and the way she told it had seemed like some sort of fairytale. As Haley pulled the gold chain that was around her neck so the ring sat over her heart she knew she was living the love that her Nani had told her about.

Haley closed her eyes, she could almost take herself back to that exact moment her Nani had placed those two chains so delicately in her hand. Nani was a slip of a woman, fragile on the outside, breakable to the slightest touch but when you looked into her eyes there was a fire alive inside of her. Her body may have betrayed her but her soul was as strong as ever. Haley had to lean in close to her because every word was tangled in staggered breathing but what she had to say Haley would never forget.

'_Your grandfather gave this to me when I was 19 years old. We had been together all through high school and had planned to get married when we graduated. He got called to war and we had to postpone the wedding. We didn't have much money and were saving up to purchase wedding rings but all of a sudden he had to go. So with what money he had he went and got these gold chains, he still couldn't afford the wedding bands so this was as close as he could come. He climbed up to my bedroom window the night he was to leave. I told him that I didn't want to see him off at the bus because I didn't know if my heart could take it. I was so stubborn. Well he climbed up my window in his uniform and everything. I tried to keep from crying but it was hopeless, I just loved him so much. He told me that he wanted me to have something to remember him by. He placed the gold chain around my neck twisting it so I could see the inscription on the clasp, on mine it read always and on his it read forever. He told me that he would keep his promise and come back and marry me. The way he looked at me that night I knew he would keep his promise and when ever I started to have doubt I would just hold onto that chain. It was amazing how it would just calm me. A year later we got married in a small church on the bluest day I have ever seen. Around my neck I wore that gold chain and around his neck he wore his. Every day of our life we had those gold chains around our necks and in the days before he died he placed his chain around my neck telling me he didn't need it anymore. That he had my love in his heart. Now Haley I don't have much time, I know that now and even though I will miss my family here I haven't been whole since Kevin passed and now its time for me to join him. I want you to have these. So that you will always have my love with you and one day you will give this chain to the man you love and I hope he loves you as much as my Kevin loved me.'_

Haley had been honored to be the one that her Nani trusted with her most prized possession; it was almost as if she had given her a part of her heart. Haley had made a promise to always cherish them. Throughout the years she had always kept them safely on her person but when she had been getting ready to head back to Tree Hill she knew that she wouldn't be able to walk back into her parent's house with a wedding ring. So she had placed her ring on one chain and Nathan's on the other.

She knew her Nani would adore him because of the way he loved her. She promised to one day tell him the story behind the chain she placed around his neck. Her heart grew warm at the worry that graced his face when he saw the tears slide down her cheeks. It was just that the sight of the gold chain around his neck was to overwhelming for her to get the words out. So instead she asked him to hold her and she wished that her Nani could see how in love she really was.

Haley noticed that the car had stopped. She looked out the window to see her house staring back at her. It looked as if no one was home and for that she was thankful.

Nathan's hand circled hers that were holding her ring in between the tips of her fingers. He kissed the back of her hands, 'Someday soon I will put that ring back on your finger.'

'I know,' Haley could barely get the words to pass her lips as she tried to hold back the tears that threatened to betray the strength she knew she had in her. Nathan slipped his arms around her waist pulling her into his lap.

Haley rested her forehead against his, 'Hales Baby you have to believe that.' She moved to rest her head in the crook of his neck as he pulled her tighter to him.

'I do, I just miss you already.'

Nathan brushed his hands through her hair trying his best to reassure her when even he himself had the same worries.

He didn't know what tomorrow held but he did know that he would be going to sleep without her beside him. She wouldn't be the first thing he saw in the morning. He felt his heart drop at the thought.

He knew that this year would be hard on them if the James's continued to forbid Haley from seeing him. Not that it would work they had school and Nathan had climbed in and out of her window frequently before they even caught on.

By no means would this be an easy road but Nathan knew this love was worth it. They had overcome so much already and their love seemed to only intensify.

Nathan tried to pull Haley back as he felt her start to move away from him. She framed his face with her hands and slowly moved her lips against his. Her hands tilted his head upwards as she seeked entrance into his mouth, he felt her tongue gracefully sweep in between his lips and Nathan moaned at the sensation.

The heat she was creating in him escaped through his fingertips that seeked her skin. He pushed his hands under her shirt and found release in the cool plane of her back.

He wanted all of her now and the vibration of her hands against his torso told him that she wanted the same thing. It took a lot of will within him to grip her waist and pull her away from him. Her staggered breathing pillowed on his neck as he tried to hold back from giving into her, she drove him wild that he would even consider making love to her in front of her parent's house.

'Haley I should go before-'

'I know' She moved to open the passenger side door trying to fix her clothes as she slid across the seat. He grabbed her hand that lay against the seat and pulled her slightly towards him so that he could lean in half way and kiss her. 'I love you'

Her eyes stayed slightly closed and Nathan leaned in again placing a small kiss on her still slightly puckered lips. She smiled at him before she opened her eyes and on the halo of her eyes a small spark danced that told him everything would be alright.

Her hand slid down the chain that lay over his shirt, 'I love you too.'

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'Bye Mr. Roberts, say Hello to your wife for me.' Deb closed the café's door behind the very last customer to leave. It was just after the breakfast rush and she knew she at least had another hour or two before the lunch rush started. She turned the Be Right Back sign on the door and headed behind the counter. She was in the middle of ransacking her purse when a knock on the door distracted her.

'Shit' Deb said under her breath she had been waiting for a cigarette break all morning. The face at the door looked familiar and something told her that this visitor didn't come looking for food.

Deb cracked the door open. 'Can I help you?' she hoped they weren't trying to sell anything.

'Yes, Hi am Lydia James. Haley's mother.' That's how she knew her; she had seen her drop off Haley a few times for work.

'Oh yes of course, am sorry but Haley's not in today.'

'Actually that's why I came by' Lydia gestured into the café, 'may I come in?'

So much for a cigarette break, well she should quit anyways.

'Pick a seat' Deb laughed, Lydia didn't. 'Coffee' Deb headed toward the counter.

'No that's ok I actually have to pick up my other daughter from the train station but I was passing by and well I know we do have a lot to talk about.'

Deb tried to hide the surprise on her face what could she and this woman possibly need to discuss.

'Am not mad at Nathan……………. Anymore, trust me I was but Haley got into his car all by herself. I must admit I was ready to call the police but you can understand where am coming from?'

'What are you talking about?' Deb was sure this woman had gone crazy, 'Why would you call the police on my son?'

Lydia was positive this woman was Deb Scott but how could she not know what her son had done.

'Your son and my daughter have run away together, they have been gone for two days.'

Once again Deb felt like a fool where her son was concerned. Over the last eight months she had felt like that over and over again. 'Oh am sure they will come back.'

Lydia got up from her chair, 'Is that all you have to say? You hope they come back. What if they don't? We don't know what Nathan is capable of.'

'What is that supposed to mean, what Nathan's capable of?'

'Uh lets see he stole a school bus, took drugs and ran away from his dads house and you know what if he wants to ruin his life that his problem, but when it involves my daughter that's my problem.'

Deb couldn't believe the nerve of this woman. 'How dare you come into my work place and insult my son.'

Now it was Debs turn to stand up from the table hitting the it with her palm for emphasis.

'First of all Haley is her own person and no one can make her do anything. Second of all my son is a good guy he's had some problems but most of that wasn't his fault. But your daughter hasn't been the best thing for him either, the most important thing in his life for the past 16 years, something that can actually give him a future he's ready to give up for her-'

'He's lucky to have Haley in his life but it won't be at the expense of my daughter.' Lydia reached for her purse that sat on the table between the two angry women. 'I don't want him anywhere around her, you better make sure he doesn't even say hello to her.'

Deb followed Lydia towards the door practically pushing her towards it with her words. 'As long as you make sure Haley stays away from my son because let's face it not until Nathan noticed her Haley was a nobody. She wasn't popular at school in fact I think she was known as a nerd. I don't know what Nathan sees in her because there are a lot more girls out there that are prettier and smarter.'

Before Lydia could say anything Deb had practically pushed the woman out the door. Without looking back towards the counter she tried to shake off the anger that was broiling inside of her.

She straightened out her shirt and reached for her purse under the counter. She pulled out her cigarette pack shaking it open revealing 4 cigarettes looking back at her. 'I need to buy a new pack.'

She then reached for her phone opening up her contact list looking for a name she hadn't dialed in a long time.


	18. AND

Author's note: I can't believe I am updating either but I was going through some random papers and lo and behold my little notebook fell out. I was amazed and happy to see it because it contains the next few chapters in their entirety and an outline of the story till its conclusion. So I will be finishing this story. Thank you to those who have favorite this story and I hope this chapter was worth the wait. I am going to try and update every week.

**CHAPTER 18**

"…_.and hold me now."_

Nathan pulled up to the familiar place and sighed. He really hadn't known how much he really missed the old cracked concrete and the weather tattered nets. It hadn't been a place where he grew up at but in the last year and a half it had become a big part of his life.

This had been the place where he had first seen Haley. She was on the side lines cheering on Luke, the fire in her eyes and the way her hair bounced around her had been hypnotizing even then. This had also been the place where he had found joy in playing basketball again. Where he was able to have the ball in his hands and not feel a weight pressing on his shoulders. This had also been the place that brought him and his brother together.

Now as Nathan walked toward the bench that sat beside the court, he hoped that once again the River Court would give him back a piece of his family.

"Nathan" It came out almost as a question. She watched his hands wring together before he stood up to meet her. His eyes, his hands, the way his shoulders moved told her that he was just as nervous as she was. She rounded the corner of the picnic table to look into the very eyes that reminded her of her father. The same kindness and heart that had lived in his was awake in Nathans.

She slid onto the picnic table top and took a deep breath. "I am glad you came."' Determined to reach out to her son she said the truth, "I wasn't sure you would."

Nathan looked at his mother trying to hide the stunned expression on his face. It had been a long time since Deb Scott had opened herself up. Over the last few years it had been all about presentation. The mother who used to read him bed time stories had all but disappeared.

"I wasn't sure I would either but here I am."

Deb couldn't help but smile a part of her wanted to reach out and touch his check just to make sure he really was in front of her. It had been a long time since she had any contact with him and that had been her fault.

The last year and a half had been the hardest with the divorce. Nathan had become angry towards her, towards everyone but Haley. A part of her was jealous of the fact that this girl could walk in and bring a smile to her sons face when she couldn't. But now as Deb took a closer look at the son she hadn't seen in months, the way he seemed to stand a little straighter, his eyes seemed to shine a little brighter.. Deb realized that she had been selfish. She may have wanted to be the one that made her son happy but at the time she hadn't been happy herself.

So Haley had been a saving grace. "You look good Nate maybe even happy."

He sent her that sideways smile that reminded her of her brother Cooper. The girls swooned whenever he sent it their way.

"You could say that. Lately a lot of the time I feel like I could almost be truly happy." Deb tried to hide her tears but the soft sadness that passed through Nathan's eyes told her that he had seen it. She went to reach for his hand but at the last moment right before her hand covered his she pulled it back onto her lap.

"In the car on the way over here I practiced a lot of things that I would say to you. But now that I look at you I realize there's only one thing to say," Deb cleared her throat and this time she did take her sons hand between her own. The eyes that that she has fallen in love with at first sight over 17 years ago looked straight at her. "I am sorry Nathan." She took her hand from a top his and raised it to his cheek. Nathan moved towards her and hugged her to him.

Deb held her breath as she felt his hair slide against her cheek and then she couldn't hold back the tears. She cried at the feeling of hers son's tears against her neck. "I made a lot of mistake Mom." Deb held him tighter, "Nathan, I made a lot of mistakes and I am the adult and your mother. I should have known better."

Deb closed her eyes and hoped for a split second that when she opened them that time would have turned back and she would have a chance to right all of her wrongs. But when she opened her eyes she was staring out at the River with her 17 year old son in her arms and for that she could be thankful. She pulled Nathan from her arms smiling at him as he sat before her. With no words exchanged she brushed her hand through his hair.

"You need a haircut." And a laugh that made her heart come back to life surrounded her. "I know it's soon Nathan and we have a lot to work through but-"

Nathan put his hand over hers, "Can I come home Mom?"

Deb didn't hide the tears this time, "It was never really a home without you."

* * *

"Are you cold?" Jake pulled the blanket tighter around Brooke, laying a soft kiss on her forehead as he felt her snuggle farther into his side. The breeze off the ocean before them felt fresh against his skin but when he felt Brooke shiver next to him he instinctively tried to make her feel better.

"I am perfect, thank you." She was perfect… well almost. The beach was clam before her, that's why she liked to come here. Something about the way the water lapped back and forth made her feel comfortable, like all of her stress and worries would wash out with the water. But the slight butterflies in her stomach told her that it wouldn't be so laid back this time.

Brooke slid her hand up Jakes shirt front until her hand found the side of his head so she could tilt it down and get a clear view of her eyes. "I've never brought anyone here before." Brooke knew that the way her back was arched that she should be really uncomfortable but half of her body snuggled against Jake with a blanket holding her close to him felt anything but uncomfortable. Somehow that slight realization held true for a lot of things between them. Whatever was between them or starting between them was new and awkward but in the end all of the uncomfortable moments were worth it. Jake would be there at her side, keeping her safe, cared for and maybe even someday loved, if she let her heart go there.

Looking into his smiling eyes his arm secure around her waist she realized she did. "Jake I like this - what's going on between us and I am sorry I almost ruined it." Brooke saw that he was about to say something but before he could say anything she silenced him with a kiss. She felt the blanket fall from her shoulders as she slid her arms around his neck. She giggled into his moth as his strong arms pulled her into his lap. Not caring who was around Brooke Davis let her guard down, she kissed a man who she knew would be more than just a drunken pleasure or a face that she would never see again. She cared for him and sure it was scary but Brooke Davis was never scared of taking a risk – even if this time it was with her heart.

* * *

"GIVE ME AN **L**, GIVE ME A **U**, GIVE ME A **K**, GIVE ME A **E**"

Luke tossed his basketball to the side as he ran over to the picnic table. He hopped past the bench and landed square on the table top where Peyton cheered with the pom poms. The pom poms fell to the ground as he picked her up lightly throwing her over his shoulder.

"Ewwww you are sweaty!!" Peyton tried to wiggle free but Luke laughed as he carefully stepped from the table to the bench.

"OH MY GOD LUCAS SCOTT WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?" It was hard to respond or keep her on his shoulder as the skinny blond taunted him by putting her hands all over his body as he tried to make his way to her car a few feet away.

Peyton tried to hold back her giggles but the fight was futile. "PUT ME DOWN LUKE... PUT ME DOWN!!"

Holding her by one hand he reached for the door handle of the backseat passenger door of Peyton's car. Carefully laying her back down along the backset he smirked as she tugged him down with her.

His lips found her neck as her hands maneuvered under his shirt and up his back. He lifted himself up so that she could pull off his shirt and a pleased moan escaped him as her cool lips met his skin.

"Mmmmhhhmm salty!"

Luke's hand snaked along Peyton's exposed thigh and Luke couldn't help but thank the god who invented jean skirts. The harsh fabric of her skirt along with the smoothness of her skin sent his body into sensory overload.

His lips met her thigh and the giggles that overcame her created a sensation that made her body shake. "Oooh does someone think they are going to get lucky?"

Luke set his hand on Peyton's waist but not before he brushed his fingertips along the skirts hem itching to pull it up. "Think Baby I know!"

Peyton laughed at the way Luke tried to seduce her, the voice, the face and if those had been the only attributes of his that he had to entice her she might have been able to be a little stronger. But his lips, his hands …. Well they made her forget herself, made her forget where she was, they pulled her in drowning her in the ocean of passion between them.

Peyton jumped at the sound of the river boat that was passing along side the river court. She tossed her hair back helping her curls find their rightful place on her head. Her hands found Luke's making their way up her shirt and pushed them away.

"Ms. Sawyer are you giving me the brush off?" Luke was on his knees on the backseat hunched over her. He looked slightly funny because of the way the roof of the car was trapping him in. His body still slightly sweaty from the basketball practice was evident by the beads of sweat gliding against his still exposed chest. The mere sight of him made Peyton unconsciously lick her lips.

She pulled herself up so that she was so close to him that her lips were almost touching his, "Take me home."

* * *

Haley burrowed her face farther into her pillow. She could feel the lump in her throat get harder and she tried to swallow it down, hoping it wouldn't explode in her and maker her cry. She had come home to find no one home and for that she was thankful. In the few step from Nathan's car to her front door she had built up her defense to guard her self against anything her parents had to say. She had been ready for a fight because there was no doubt in her mind that her parents were going to give her one.

But right now Haley pulled her blankets up to her chin, she missed Nathan. She missed his arms around her. She missed that slight scent of basketball leather and cologne that she couldn't get enough of. It hadn't even been more than a few hours but a part of her felt that she was dying without him.

Then she heard it. The slam of the front door, then a sound of something rolling along the hardwood floors but not until she heard the steps come up the stairs did she know who it was.

"Haley James that trick didn't work when you were 7 and it's sure as hell isn't going to work when you are 17. I can see you."

Haley pulled back the covers to see her sister Vivian looking back at her. Viv reached out and touched Haley's cheek, "Hay Bay why are you so sad?" Haley sent her a crooked smile before flinging herself into her sisters awaiting arms.

"Bay bay don't cry, you're going to make me cry and you know once I start it takes me awhile to stop." Haley couldn't help but laugh. Viv always had a way of making her laugh even when she didn't want to. Viv was ten years old when Haley was born. There was a connection between the two of them that no one could deny. Haley's first word even before mama or dada had been "Vi" for Viv. But Vi had broken Haley's heart when she moved across the country to go to school. She had left her alone with Taylor and Quinn who refused to let her have any part in what they were doing. It usually left Haley in tears but when Viv called she never let on that she was sad. No one wanted to bring Viv down, she was revered by the family, all of the siblings loved her and her parents doted on her. She was beautiful, bright and first born but out of everyone in the family Haley was her favorite and everyone knew it.

"So do you want to tell me about it?" Haley resituated herself on her bed next to Viv her short legs hanging off the bed parallel to Viv's long ones. "Like you already don't know, Vi"

Viv knocked her shoulder into Haley's;"Yeah Mom called me and told me to get down here quick to knock some sense into you." Haley made a quick move to the top of the bed trying to pull the blanket over her head at the same time but Viv was quick and pulled the blanket loose from her hand. "So that's what you are here for to knock some sense into me?" The trademark Viv look came out in full force, one eyebrow cocked.

A moment later Viv patted the space on the bed next to her and gathered her sister into a hug. "Is he the one Haley?" Viv felt Haley head move on to her shoulder. "Yeah he is Vi. Does that sound crazy?"

Viv laughed and squeezed her little sisters' shoulder. "Haley who am I to say what's crazy?" Haley moved out of her sisters arms and turned around until she was face to face with her.

"No Vi I am serious. Only you and Luke are the people I trust the most to tell me the truth." Haley wiped a tear from her eye. "Bay, you are so special, you have the biggest heart and love so strongly. When I held you for the first time I knew it would be impossible for anyone not to love you."

Haley sideways smile encouraged Viv to go on. "So if you feel that Nathan is the one for you, if he makes you feel completely loved and happier than you can imagine then I couldn't be happier for you." Viv laughed as she wiped the tears on Haley's cheek. "I thought that would make you stop crying."

Haley lunged herself into her big sisters arms, "Thank you Viv!"

"Don't thank me Sis, you are lucky. I am ten years older than you and I have never felt that way you do about anyone. So hold on to it and if you need to talk you know I am here."

Haley held her sister tighter. "Its good to have you home."


End file.
